Shooting the Rapids - Chapter Eleven
Title: Shooting the Rapids
Author: Sio & Maura
Rating: NC-17
Length: 43,986 / 105,220
Spoilers: Possible mentions of up to Season 2 finale
Pairing: Rachel/Santana
Summary: The sequel to Standing on a Precipice. Rachel and Santana have managed to survive the turbulent waters of the loss of Jesse and the shocking truth hidden in Santana’s marriage. Now two years later, new troubles arise with Shelby taking a stand in defense of her daughter against Santana’s "corruption" and the involvement of the tabloids as the couple becomes more and more drawn into the public eye. Kayla’s success in gymnastics brings interest from an unexpected direction and Santana has decided she wants to try again for a child of her own. Can they survive as a couple and help their children thrive amidst the chaos?
Warnings (highlight to read): Pregnancy, angst, children, non-con and drugging and talks thereof in later chapters
Chapter Eleven
It started off innocently, as these things do. Two boys playing in bed, laughing and pushing and enjoying being brothers. Perhaps they weren't supposed to be playing like that in their bunkbeds, but their Mama was off at work and Santana had laid down for a nap and they were having fun.
Alex hadn't meant to push Cale so hard. He was just a little boy. He hadn't realized how close his big brother was to the edge.
So when Cale yelped and tumbled over the edge to smack into the ground with an awful crack, Alex could only clutch on the edge of the bed and look over in horror. He was scared he'd see his brother not moving like happened with bad guys in their comic books sometimes, but Cale was moving when he finally got up the courage to open his eyes. Scrambling down the ladder so fast he almost slipped twice, he scurried to the older boy's side.
"Don't cry, Caley!" He whimpered, his hands reaching out to tug on his big brother's shirt. "Please don't cry! I'm sorry!"
Cale just sobbed, holding his left arm tight against his chest and rocking back and forth. "Hurts! It hurts, Lex!"
"I'm gonna get Mommy!" Alex scrambled to his feet, bursting out of their room and sprinting down the hall, all but throwing himself down the stairs to get help for his brother. He smashed into the door to his parents' bedroom, scrabbling at the door knob. "Mommy!" he cried, tears streaming down his face, "Mommy, help! Caley's hurt! I'm sorry, Mommy! I didn't mean to!"
Santana opened her eyes when she heard a child slam into the door, she struggled to sit up when he clamoured into the room. She had gone to lay down after lunch, the kids had the day off school and with her advanced stage of pregnancy it had been suggested that she take it easy - which more or less meant working from home for the final weeks of her term. She had just started falling asleep when Alex busted into the room sobbing.
"What?" Santana asked, slightly alarmed as she tried to understand his words. "Cale? Whats wrong sweetie?" She pushed for him to speak more clearly so she could understand.
Alex ran in and buried his face in Santana's side, sobbing brokenly, "I hurt Caley, Mommy! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! Come help! Make Caley better, Mommy!"
When the words Cale and hurt came out of Alex's mouth, she was up. "Okay, come on." She got up as quick as she could and waddled to the flight of stairs. She could hear Caleb crying above them. She was shaking with fear, but she couldn't move much faster than she was. She hoisted herself up the eight steps to the top floor. Alex was trying to pull her and she had to grab her hand away when he almost pulled her over. "Stop, Alex." She said, her voice wavering in fear.
She quickly went into the boy's room and saw her son, clutching his arm on the floor. Kayla had come in from her room and was trying to calm him down, but she was crying as she talked to him. Santana moved close to him and lowered herself to the ground. She ran her fingers through his hair, "Tell me what hurts, baby." She whispered, her own tears getting ready to fall down her cheeks.
Cale was still crying, but calming a little from the hysterical tears that had followed his plummet as first his big sister and then Santana came. "M-my arm," he whimpered, "my arm hurts a lot, Santa..."
Kayle bit her lip, looking up at Santana worriedly through her glasses, "It's really, really tender in the middle, Santi. He cries harder whenever I touch it. I think it might be broken..."
"Yeah." Santana whispered as she checked over the little boy's arm. "Kayla, can you call Ajay? He... He should be around and we need to take Cale to the hospital." She leaned down and picked her small son up and carefully held him. "It's okay hijo," she whispered, "It will be okay. You're being so brave." She rocked him back and forth as he cried.
Cale sobbed and snuggled into Santana's embrace, carefully holding his arm protectively against his chest. Kayla nodded and took off out of the room to call the driver as Alex sat on the bed and looked worried and upset. The youngest of the children wrung his hands together and looked terrified about his big brother hurting.
"Make him better, Mommy," he whispered, rocking on the bed and hugging his stomach as if it hurt, hazel eyes never leaving his brother.
Cale sniffled, "Hurts, Mom..."
"I know it does baby." She cooed, kissing his head before looking over to Alex. "Cale will be okay, Alex. It was an accident. Come here, baby," She reached her hand out to Alex and hugged him too while she waited for Kayla to tell her that Ajay was on his way. She was trying to figure out how to get her son downstairs without hurting him. "Alex? Can you get your shoes on and grab yours and Cale's coats so we can go when Ajay comes?" She sniffled, her heart breaking seeing how scared both her boys were.
Alex nodded, jumping up and running to the closet to kick his shoes on and tug their coats down. He came back over and carefully laid Cale's jacket over him. "I'm sorry, Caley. I didn' mean to..."
"I know," Cale sniffled, looking up and trying to give his little brother a brave smile. "My fault too, kay, ‘Lex?"
Alex nodded again and carefully hugged Cale, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "I'm gonna wait for Ajay with Kayla, Mommy."
Cale bit his lip almost to bleeding his arm hurt so bad and tried to sit up. "I can walk downstairs, Mom," he whispered with a painful wince and whimper as he accidentally jarred his arm while moving. "You gotta take care of the baby..."
Santana shook her head. "I am," She whispered, pushing his shaggy hair back. She carefully put the zipper -front sweatshirt over his bad arm and slid his good arm in it. "You're my baby," She rested her forehead against his. "You can cry. It hurts, you can cry. But, I'm gonna take you to the doctor and get you fixed up okay?"
He nodded jerkily, "Okay." His voice was soft. "I don't hav'ta go to the hospital do I, Mom? I don't wanna go to the hospital like Daddy did..."
Santana smiled hearing him call her mom again, "It's a fast hospital. Not like how your daddy was, I promise, okay?" She whispered and heard footsteps coming up the stairs. She looked over at Ajay. "He broke his arm." She said.
"My boys do that at least once a year," He smiled reassuringly as he came over and knelt down next to the mother-to-be and the injured boy.
"They're okay though, right?" She asked quietly, getting up with a struggle as Ajay helped Cale stand.
"Absolutely," he grinned at her, "You saw them just last week, so I'd call that evidence, don't you think? We're gonna take you to the doctor and get you a little cast, alright, little man?"
Cale smiled through his tears at the genial older man, "Alright, Ajay. Can I ride up front?"
"Maybe on the way home, but for now," Ajay nodded at Santana as he helped her down the stairs, "I think maybe it'd be better for you to ride in back with Santana and your brother and sister."
Cale nodded, carefully making his way down the stairs cradling his injured arm. "Okay." He sniffed, biting back a whimper as the jarring motion of walking down the stairs transmitted up through his arm with each step.
Santana watched sadly, she wanted to pick him up and carry him but she knew she couldn't. When she got downstairs, she shoved her feet into her shoes and held Alex's hand as they got into the car. Tucking one arm around Cale and holding him close, she pulled out her phone and quickly called Rachel on the way to the hospital.
"I don't fucking care about your wait time!" Santana exclaimed at the receptionist at the emergency room. "My child has a broken arm, he's in pain and I pay a lot of money to have health care for my children and I want him seen now!"
"I understand that, ma'am," the nurse patiently explained, again, "but this emergency room operates on a triage policy. And your son is not as severely injured as others. I assure you that he will be seen as soon as possible and -"
"Where is he?! Where's my son?!" Rachel's familiar voice cut through the noise of the ER waiting area, the mother looking harried and dishevelled as she made her way through the doors. "Santana! Where is he? Is he okay?" She gripped her lover's arms as soon as she was close enough, "Please tell me he's okay!"
The pregnant woman pulled her girlfriend into a hug. "He's okay. He's okay he just fell off his bed and hurt his arm." She whispered and pointed over to where Kayla was sitting holding Alex on her lap and holding Cale's good hand. She pushed Rachel over to the children and turned to the woman. She threw down the forms and looked sternly at the woman.
"Caleb Ezekiel St. James." She glared, "I hope to hear him called soon." With that she went back to her family and kissed Alex and Kayla's heads as Rachel doted over Cale.
It took nearly two hours before Cale's name was called to admit him into the ER. Almost another hour after that before the x-ray opened up. But they were finally standing in the small treatment room with a terribly young looking doctor slipping the black and white films into the lightbox on the wall.
"If you'll look here," he pointed to a thin black line moving through the white of Cale's ulna, "do you see this line? That's the break. Now, it looks like nothing more than a simple green stick fracture." He smiled reassuringly at the mothers, "They're extremely common, especially in active little boys. All we need to do is put a cast on it to make sure it doesn't aggravate into something worse as it heals and in a couple months he'll be good as new."
Santana breath came out in a relieved puff as she looked at the x-ray from her chair - which she was more than ordered to sit in by her worried girlfriend - "See, Cale? You'll get a cast and be good as new." She smiled sadly, not able to think anything but that this was her fault. Her son was in the hospital because she had to lay down and rest because she was too weak to be able to handle the day.
Rachel nodded at the doctor as he flipped the lights back on and headed out to let a nurse know to bring in the materials to cast the little boy's arm. Now that her initial panic about her child's well-being had died down though, a more immediate concern came to mind. She turned to face her sons, her lips thinned.
"This, boys, is why you were both told explicitly to not play on your beds." She was exceedingly unhappy that they had both ignored her in order to do what they want leading to her oldest son having his arm broken. "You both promised me that under no circumstances would you play on those beds if I allowed you to keep them. So why did you decide to not only break your promise to me and Santana but make both of us worry terribly? Cale, you're the big brother. I expected so much better from you... and now you're hurt."
She sighed and rested her hand on Santana's shoulder to try and calm her racing heart, squeezing gently, "That's it. The beds are coming apart. You've proven to me that you're not mature enough to have bunk beds."
Santana sighed, and nodded trying to look like she supported Rachel's decision. "Your mom's right. We'll take them apart tomorrow." She looked at Alex's guilty face and Cale's tired and in pain one. "If you both prove that you are mature enough we can put them up in the future." She sighed and looked down then back up. "The real issue now... the most important thing, Caleb..." She said with a stern look on her face, "Is what colour do you want your cast?"
Cale looked shocked for a second then smiled shyly. "Can I have a purple one, Santa? I like purple."
Alex nudged his brother. "Can I draw on it? Eddie had a cast in pre-school but he wouldn't let me draw on it." The younger boy pouted.
Santana just chuckled at her son wanting a purple cast. "Sure buddy, if they have purple it's yours." She rested her head on Rachel's shoulder as she watched the boys talk about casts and what can be drawn on it.
"Santa? Can I put Batman stickers on it?" Cale looked up with a bright grin when he thought of the idea.
"Of course," She smiled and linked her fingers with Rachel's. "We can get some tomorrow. We need to get your medication and get you to bed tonight."
A nurse came in with the tray and started casting the little boy's arm as he chatted at her about getting to put Batman stickers on his cast and how his little brother was going to draw on it for him. Rachel stroked her lover's hair as she watched quietly, Alex kneeling on the examination table beside Cale so he could watch how the cast was assembled on his brother's arm. Kayla just sat on the floor beside Santana leaning so her head was resting against her leg as she read her book.
Santana laid back in bathtub, hating how her body was so sore all the time. She ran her fingers over her distended stomach, feeling so guilty that Cale got hurt while she was supposed to be watching them. What if having four kids was too much? What if she and Rachel couldn't watch all of them or share their love around with them. She worried her lip as she thought about the events of the day, not even noticing that Rachel had come into the room.
Rachel knelt beside the tub and picked up the washcloth, pouring a little soap on it and beginning to gently wash and massage her pregnant lover. "What has you looking so ominous, love?" She smiled softly, reaching up to tap on the darker woman's nose. "Cale's fine. Everyone's okay."
"I left them alone." She admitted, "I left them playing alone upstairs when I went to lay down. I wasn't there to stop it and I wasn't there when he got hurt." She looked at her girlfriend, "I was too tired and I couldn't play with them... It's my fault he got hurt."
"Nonsense," Rachel scoffed, urging Santana to move forward so she could work the soreness out of the muscles on her back, "You had no reason to believe they would break their promise to us to not play on the bed. They're children, Santana, and as much as it may distress you or me as their mothers, they will get hurt." She leaned in and kissed Santana's cheek, "Cale breaking his arm is no more your fault for being tired and worn out by pregnancy than Kayla's breaking her nose was my fault." She smiled wryly at the woman's startled expression, "I didn't tell you about that?"
Santana shook her head, "No! How did you not tell me Kayla broke her nose!"
"Because I'd mostly forgotten about it," Rachel laughed softly, "She was only three and I was carrying Cale at the time. I'd left her to watch a special on leopard cubs on Nature while I took a nap, but she didn't stay as fascinated with the program as I'd hoped. Instead she headed into the kitchen to help herself to a cookie - which she'd been expressly denied earlier as we were going to be having dinner soon when Jesse came home. Well, long story short, I was woken from my nap by a terrible scream. By the time I managed to get up and into the kitchen, she'd sat up."
She shook her head with a wry smile, abandoning the washcloth to simply knead the tight muscles of Santana's shoulders and upper back. "There was blood everywhere. It looked far more terrible than when Finn managed to break my nose in high school. I rushed her to the emergency room, convinced it was my fault and that Jesse would hate me forever. But do you know what happened when he arrived?"
Santana shook her head as she listened, resting into her lover's touch. "What did he do?" She cocked her head and looked up surprised, "But you're like the best mom in the world."
"Thank you for the vote of confidence," Rachel chuckled, "but I'm hardly the best mom in the world. When Jesse arrived at the emergency room, the first thing he did was ask if Kayla was okay - which she was, barring of course the broken nose - and the very next thing he did was ask if I was okay. Once he'd determined everyone was okay, he did this," she leaned in and kissed Santana softly, "and told me it wasn't my fault. That no one can be everywhere or stop every accident from happening."
She ran her fingers along Santana's jaw and turned her to face her, giving her a soft smile, "And the same is true for you, Santana. You didn't throw him off the bed or tell him to go roughhousing where they both knew they shouldn't. It's not your fault. Okay, love? It's not. I promise."
"Okay." She whispered, "What if four kids is too much?" She blinked up as she tried to hide how scared she was to give birth in a few weeks. "We can't keep up with the kids we have now! How the hell are we gonna go after all four of them!"
"Santana," Rachel shook her head with a fond smile, leaning in to kiss her, "Don't worry so much. We'll be fine. Maybe things will get a bit hectic, but both Kayla and Cale are getting to the ages where they can help us with the baby and Alex." She stroked her fingers along Santana's face, "We'll be fine, beautiful. This might be your first real run with a baby as a mom, but I've been down this road a few times now and may I just remind you of how amazing you were with Alex?"
She shrugged and looked up at her adoring girlfriend. "I know... I'm just scared." Santana took Rachel's hand and pressed it to the side of her stomach where an outline of a tiny foot was pressing against tanned skin. "The doctor said the baby was gonna get big, but damn..." she remarked as she looked at her stomach. "It's so big my skin feels like it's so just tight and is gonna snap soon." Santana's body hadn't changed much besides the large belly that was housing her child and her breasts that swelled over the months. "I kinda hoped my ass would get bigger," Santana pouted, "I got all the pains of pregnancy but none of the perks of getting weight in the fun places."
Rachel couldn't help but laugh. "Santana Lopez, you are absolutely perfect just the way you are. I happen to love that shapely little ass of yours just the way it is." She smiled at her, standing and grabbing a towel, "Come on, lets get you to bed. I happen to have this incredible urge to cuddle with my amazingly sexy girlfriend right now."
"You're not allowed to laugh at my impression of a killer whale at Sea World..." She scowled as she worked to get out of the bathtub, she arched up belly first and finally got to her feet. She held her arms out while Rachel dried her off and helped Santana into a robe. "I'm gonna be so happy when my clothing fits again." Santana pointed out as she followed Rachel over to the bed and allowed herself to get tugged down. The pregnant woman wiggled around to get comfortable on her side as she felt Rachel combing through her long black hair. "You're an amazing woman, Rachel. Thank you so much for everything... just... thank you."
"You're amazing, Santana," Rachel murmured, cuddling up behind her girlfriend and stroking her fingers through her hair. "You're successful, talented, driven, an amazing mother, and," she kissed the corner of her jaw, "you taught me that I could love again after Jesse died. I don't think I could have survived even half of what you not only survived but conquered. You keep taking bad situations and making them good, even if it takes a long time. Every morning I get to wake up to see you, every night when I get to come home to you and the children," she smiled even though Santana couldn't see it, "it just reminds me of how much I love you and how exceedingly lucky I am that you chose me to be the one beside you."
The other woman smiled and sighed contently, "You're my soulmate." She whispered, "I found you and you found me when we were mean to." She leaned back slightly, "You realize we have Kayla to thank for all of this right? If she never ran into me I would have never seen you again."
"She can have an extra brownie for dessert tomorrow night," Rachel chuckled, kissing along her lover's neck, "But I like to think I had something to do with this. You obviously did. Being entirely too sexy and beautiful for my grieving little heart to handle." She kissed her ear, snuggling into her back, "I had no choice but to fall in love with this amazing woman who had already stolen my children's hearts."
"My plan worked," She replied tiredly, "My charms worked on the children and I knew you wouldn't be far behind." She smirked as she spoke a tone of joking running through her words. "I didn't even realize I was falling for you, it just happened." She pulled Rachel's arms to wrap around her body and rest on her stomach. "I never thought I'd be happy... I never thought I'd have a family after everything... But here you are. Despite how much shit you went through and how much your children went through in a small amount of time... We're okay. Everyone's happy." She smiled, "I like to think Jesse was looking out for us the entire time."
"Of course he's looking out for us, Santana," Rachel hugged her close, resting her chin on her shoulder, "We're his family. You included. Maybe he was immature and selfish in high school, but he grew up into a fine man." She sighed softly, "I wish you could have known him when he was healthy. Seen him with Kayla and Cale. He loved them so much. I wish he could have held Alex once before the end..."
"Rachel... when Kayla and I went to get her glasses a couple months ago..." She was wary of bringing the conversation with Kayla up, but she knew she had to. "She remarked that she doesn't really remember Jesse anymore and Cale told me today that he was scared of the hospital because of Daddy. I know it hurts you to think about him... but maybe if we looked at photos with the kids or watched the videos from school that has him being live and active..." She said quietly not wanting to hurt Rachel. "I just don't want him to fade away from their memory or miss out of Alex and the new baby knowing him, you know?"
Rachel sighed softly, holding Santana close. "I... I understand what you're saying, and you're right. I shouldn't be so afraid to talk about the children's father with them. It just hurt so badly for so long that not talking about it became a habit. You know, I have," she smiled wistfully, "I have DVDs that Jesse and I made when he realized how bad the cancer got. Messages to the children. Even little Alex. Some of them he edited himself before things got too bad, but most of them I put together for him. We could," she nibbled on her lower lip, "we could watch them with them?"
"I don't want you to be upset though. I can watch them with Kayla if you don't want to... I just think... I just don't want her, or any of them, to grow up thinking that they were to just forget about him. That's how my dad treated it when my mom died and it just never made sense. I want all the kids, even ours, to remember their father."
"It's not upsetting, Santana," She stopped, thinking over her words for a moment, "Or, well, it is, but not as badly as it once was. I don't want to forget him either. I," she nuzzled against Santana's neck, "I may cry, because I still miss him, but as long as you're next to me," she laced their fingers together and squeezed gently, "holding my hand, I'll be okay."
"Okay." Santana replied, "Maybe we can do that tomorrow? I know Kayla will thank you for it and the boys too." She kissed one of Rachel's hands and smiled. "I love your strength, and how much you love our children. I can't wait for the little one to come out and get held by you." She smiled and brought their hands back to her waist. "I can't wait for the children to hold the baby and for us to continue being this beautiful family we have with just one more little baby."
"I can't wait either," Rachel whispered against her neck, kissing softly as she drew little patterns on her lover's stomach, laughing at the little taps and kicks pressing against her drifting palms. "A little fighter. Just like their mother."
"Hopefully not too much of a fighter." She smiled, "We won't have any energy ever, between Alex who managed to push his brother who is three years older off a bed, to Cale who God knows is gonna be a challenge in a few years and Kayla doesn't talk about her problems or things that are wrong. Hopefully the baby will be like a just happy simple child." She smiled as she let her eyes fall closed at the soothing feeling of Rachel's hands on her stomach.
"Happy and simple, yes." She kissed Santana's cheek, "But a fighter like the rest of our children. No one is going to keep them down or stand in their way. Just like no one could keep us down or stand in our way. Their lives may be hard as the children of a lesbian couple, but they have each other and they have us. So I want them to know how to fight for what they want and not be afraid to stand up for each other. But no matter how they are - fighter or pacifist - they're going to be perfect because they're ours, love."
She rubbed soothing circles into Santana's skin, "Sleep, sweetheart. I'll hold you all night."
Santana nodded and curled into her lover and listened her soft breaths. She closed her eyes and let the comfort and warmth of her lover sweep over her as they lay in a tangled mess of blankets and limbs, drifting off to sleep.
Chapter Twelve