(no subject)
In which I talk about Disney, addressing the burning questions:
Why doesn’t Disney channel deserve to call itself mindless junk, much less creative?
Why am I suddenly excited about Disney animation again?
Why am I continuously optimistic about Pirates 4?
Read on.
I now have final, undeniable proof that Disney Channel has gone to the dogs. Anyone who’s heard me talk about music knows that I hate, Hate, HATE the Jonas brothers. Everyone thinks they’re so great, they can’t sing (except that first songs of theirs… something about flux capacitors? That was actually ok), they’re so commercial it makes me sick, and their movie… *makes retching noise*. So you can imagine how overjoyed I am that they’re going to have a TV show. My dad was the one who told me about it, he’s a huge Disney, if not Disney Channel, freak. So, here’s the thing. THEY WERE CONSIDERING MAKING IT A SPY SHOW AND THEN TURNED IT DOWN. They had a whole acronym for Jonas and everything - the idea was that they were agents undercover as singers. You know what? I might actually watch that. If they sang too much I’d have to give up - but you never know. Oh hey, and guess what they’re doing instead, it’s this really original idea, I can’t think of how they thought of it. Here’s the pitch: they’re three brothers, who are celebrities, who are trying to live a normal life! Whoa, way too much creativity for me. I’d love to know if they really think this is cool, or if they know they’ve got a good racket going with the people-who-are-elitist-and-sickeningly-self-centered-but-trying-to-be-normal thing and don’t want to risk doing anything new. AUUUG STUPID DISNEY CHANNEL YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO WEAR THE NAME OF DISNEY.
It’s hard to believe Disney Channel is even AFFILIATED with the company that brought us Pirates of the Caribbean and Mickey Mouse.
Speaking of the good things about Disney, GUESS WHAT.
You know how they used to have all these drawn animations? Think Snow White. Think Cinderella. WELL THEY’RE BACK.
If you haven’t heard, meet The Princess and the Frog. Enjoy.
Click to viewCan I stress how cool this is enough? Disney is BACK. No more stupid, oh-we’re-going-to-be-all-progressive-and-3D nonsense. This is good, old fashioned Disney hand-drawn animation. I don’t know much about the movie, they’re being very secretive. But honestly, who cares.
I CAN’T WAIT.
Sequel… the word strikes fear into the heart of most true movie fans. It normally means that the company made a lot of money on the first, and is going to milk the franchise for all it’s worth, with no regard for quality. Star Wars prequels… The Lion King 2, Phantom of the Opera 2 (not actually out yet, but I have little hope), Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. You all know what I mean. Pirates of the Caribbean is hanging off the edge of overstaying its welcome… we all thought we were done with Captain Jack. What will it be like for him to return?
And yet I said at the beginning I was optimistic. With rumors like no more Keira Knightly (it’s true, alas), and Zac Efron as a leading man, it’s hard to imagine this being worth anything. But here’s why I think this could be survivable.
1) Bloom’s gone. Thank god. The man can act when he’s trying to be funny (hee hee, Two Towers) but they keep trying to make him a hero. He’s not, guys. Admit it. He’s a comic actor, and you can’t pretend he’s not just because you want him to be a heartthrob.
2) The new Disney head honcho (too lazy to look up his name right now) has said on record that he is ditching the idea of connecting the different branches of Disney in any way but financially. Which may mean they’ll FINALLY stop sticking the Mouse-god in with the Hannah-freakofnature. I’m assuming they’re counting Zac with the DC bunch.
Random other note: ZE has my support, btw - No matter how much I dislike the HSM franchise (1 was fine, 2 was atrocious and I didn’t even bother to go see 3), I’m impressed he’s not being sucked into Disney’s web-o-contracts and is doing something with Warner Bros. To be honest, I really do want to see 17 Again.
3) I’m getting the feeling this will be the start of a new trilogy… not a continuation of the old storyline. Almost like they’ll have the ‘Davy Jones’ trilogy and the ‘Fountain of Youth’ trilogy… and probably more if that’s successful. It could be good if they got rid of most of the old actors… kept Barbossa, kept Jack (duh), kept Ragetti and Pintel (‘cause they rock my universe), but got rid of everyone who had anything to do with Port Royal or that storyline.
So I continue to be foolishly optimistic. And, if she ever actually reads her email and sees this, N, are we still on for going as Will and Bootstrap? Because that would be HILARIOUS. (I call Will, ‘cause I WIN at Bloom impressions!)
Be blessed in your endeavors, all!
-thelasteddis