Masks
This post is born both out of boredom and necessity. I think this livejournal has got me so good that now I make myself feel guilty if I don't post every once in a while. Let you guys knows what's up in concealed messages and veiled hints into my life. In ways, it's what everyone does on lj. That's okay. It makes us all curious, wondering if anyone else out there has a magical quality that we ourselves have not yet attained. Making us seem more than we are. It’s good for the imagination.
I had an epiphany while I was swetting profusely in my bed this morning, trying to fight off this illness. It was a bad epiphany, a sudden remembrance and realization. Someone told me a few weeks ago, that, ‘no offense or anything, but you're more of the funny, joker, non-serious friend that everyone knows, and less of the serious relationship kind of guy.’
I got to thinking about that. People put on masks. Smart masks, stupid, intellectual and ennui masks to articulate to everyone else what we cannot articulate to ourselves. I could name names, but for the sake of respect, I'll just name my own mask. If you’re at all introspective and self-reflective, you can do the same. When I put on a false mischief-making appearance--like all I want to do is stir up trouble and cause havoc-- that's not really who I am, nor who I want to be. That bad boy image appeals to me, thus I want to mimic it. We are what we pretend to be. But unless we don’t self reflect, we’re caught in that mask, and we can't see anymore that we're making ourselves look like something we're not. Unless you can self-reflect, and realize that what you're pretending to be isn't truly who you are, than you're molding your life into the unreal. From then on, you're only wearing a mask because you don't know who you are, and you've given up hope on trying to find out.
Just because people exhibit some of their qualities to the people around them, does not mean that they exhibit all of them. I am not only a joker, wildchild is not only a dancer, c_o_r_v_i_d is not only an intellectual, leni_the_odd is not just an individual and brokenlollip is not only a writer. Obviously. But I don’t think people realize it sometimes. My closest friends know that I’m not just a funny guy, trouble maker or other such things. If you get to know people beyond what their default is, than you get to do some soul-searching. If you take someone at face value, you’re nothing better than an adorned cover with blank pages below.