Card Games, Prostates and Falling Trees
Oh, what a great day. To start it off, Kate and Hannah and I had a blast playing cards and making fun of Mr. Prostate’s prostate. Personally, I have it measured at 12 inches. Then, Kate showed me a truly killer card trick in which I have been brooding over for the entire day. Believe it, Kate. The entire day. Next up, we played, "My Heart Will Go On," in orchestra, which was extremely boring for the manly viola section, so I got to count the holes in the ceiling while playing…Fontaine kicked me out of Spanish class for throwing a hair ball I found on the ground into the hair of Michelle ( who conveniantly has a special phobia of "hair."), so I took the hall pass, which was a fly-swatter, walked over to Ms. Gold’s class -- my annual piss-off teacher other than Fontaine - walked in, right up to her while her class was taking a test, and whispered in her ear: "The administration has informed me your class is infested with flys. Could I please check the students for flys please?" And I held up the fly-swatter with a glint in my eye. Hehe, she didn’t even look at me and said, "Mike. Go away." God I love screwing with that teacher.
After a grueling track practice today, I went to BJ’s house where the fun really began. We were to make a rap song about science for extra credit. So here’s two white boys, sitting in the dark of BJ’s room, pumpin their hands up and down to the beat of Dr. Dre, trying to find an inspiration to rap about their science class. Yes. GangSTER. But then we heard it: a crack, and a snap. Keep in mind he lives in Carkeek Part. We looked out his window and saw a tall tree falling across the road, crashing to the ground, and smashing into an oncoming car. We both ran down to see if we could help, and saw two old granny’s sitting in the front seats, looking dazed like they didn’t know where they were. It was the funniest thing we had ever seen. A tree was resting on top of their car, and they were talking like nothing had happened. Dead stopped in the middle of the road,and get this: The one in the passenger seat was sewing. Sewing. A tree’s on your car, lady! What’s goin on gurls? Had a little car trouble?
So we called the cops and helped Officer Barney drag it off the road. I didn’t look him in the eyes (I’ve had a growing insecurity about police officers lately), but after he left, that’s when stuff really started happening. We had turned and were heading inside when were heard it again. Another crack, snap and thump. We slowly turned around, smiling, and saw that another had landed across the street. The wind was blowing the wood down! The trees had been so dry so long, that this wind had started knocking them down. So for two hours we stood out in the street and the wind, looking falling trees in the eye, braving death and destruction, couragiously daring the trees to fall near us. Except, once one tree actually did start falling towards us and we ran away like little girls. Would have killed us though. We were laughing like little kids, running around in the raining trees. We grabbed falling branches and stuck them behind our ears and pretended to be Ralph and Jack! It was hilarious fun. We were brave, and we were fierce! And you better believe we were so running away from falling trees.