she wants to get near you, don't turn her away
I went Christmas shopping with my sister, grandmother and aunt yesterday. I had a really, really good time, which was very pleasantly surprising. Nadia and I went in on our parents' presents; I'd already bought most of hers and managed to buy the rest right under her nose! And Tim has asked for money, so that's what I want to give him. He's saving up for a synthesizer. :)
I have significantly less presents to buy this year, as I no longer have to shop for Michael or his family. Good thing too, that was always the hardest part!!!
I've had a really bad migraine all day and the drive back to London was really bad -- lots of snow. And I have to go out and see about my prescription tomorrow because the doctor forgot to write down the strength of the dose she prescribed so I have to wait until Monday for the pharmacist to be able to contact her. It's a shame I can't just go "give me the weaker one." *sigh*
I'm doing really badly at doing things right now. And I've ranted and tried to clear things off my chest, but I don't feel any better and I don't know how to proceed. I've written personal letters, but when I re-read them I see that they very clearly don't say what I feel and so I don't bother. And I don't like that I've resorted to being passive-aggressive and writing vague lj entries when I get annoyed when other people do it, but I just don't feel that I have other options. And, as my mom pointed out, passive-aggressiveness is just another confrontation strategy. I just don't know how to deal with things.
And I am NOT looking forward to seeing Michael over the break and getting the last of things sorted out. I had a dream last night that I was dating someone new and then I found out that Michael was dating one of his girl friends and I was really upset. It's probably because it's something I was always scared of happening when we were together. Whenever I pictured his ideal girl, it was never me. It was always a more athletic, more tomboyish girl, like his best girl friend, Amanda. Even though I can kind of accept the break up and it being for the best and all of that, the idea of him dating someone new breaks me.
I'm tired of being broken.
I had a nice brunch with my family this morning. A big assortment of fruit (I forgot to steal some before I left. Dammit!), followed by watching soccer with my dad while my mom made bacon and eggs. Then we ate more food. It was good. :)
And last night the family rented War of the Worlds. I'm not going to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it (you know, the lucky people) but it sucked SOOOOO bad. If someone saw and enjoyed that movie, can you please explain to me why? I thought it was so horrible and I looked it up on rotten tomatoes and was amazed to see the critics disagreed. I just don't get it. Was SO bad.
Wow, am I ever going to write a journal entry that flows? This is what I get for multi-tasking. I just can't keep up with conversations and write a coherent entry at the same time. So I guess I'll just end this here and talk more later. I really just wanted to keep up the updating pattern anyway.
I have significantly less presents to buy this year, as I no longer have to shop for Michael or his family. Good thing too, that was always the hardest part!!!
I've had a really bad migraine all day and the drive back to London was really bad -- lots of snow. And I have to go out and see about my prescription tomorrow because the doctor forgot to write down the strength of the dose she prescribed so I have to wait until Monday for the pharmacist to be able to contact her. It's a shame I can't just go "give me the weaker one." *sigh*
I'm doing really badly at doing things right now. And I've ranted and tried to clear things off my chest, but I don't feel any better and I don't know how to proceed. I've written personal letters, but when I re-read them I see that they very clearly don't say what I feel and so I don't bother. And I don't like that I've resorted to being passive-aggressive and writing vague lj entries when I get annoyed when other people do it, but I just don't feel that I have other options. And, as my mom pointed out, passive-aggressiveness is just another confrontation strategy. I just don't know how to deal with things.
And I am NOT looking forward to seeing Michael over the break and getting the last of things sorted out. I had a dream last night that I was dating someone new and then I found out that Michael was dating one of his girl friends and I was really upset. It's probably because it's something I was always scared of happening when we were together. Whenever I pictured his ideal girl, it was never me. It was always a more athletic, more tomboyish girl, like his best girl friend, Amanda. Even though I can kind of accept the break up and it being for the best and all of that, the idea of him dating someone new breaks me.
I'm tired of being broken.
I had a nice brunch with my family this morning. A big assortment of fruit (I forgot to steal some before I left. Dammit!), followed by watching soccer with my dad while my mom made bacon and eggs. Then we ate more food. It was good. :)
And last night the family rented War of the Worlds. I'm not going to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it (you know, the lucky people) but it sucked SOOOOO bad. If someone saw and enjoyed that movie, can you please explain to me why? I thought it was so horrible and I looked it up on rotten tomatoes and was amazed to see the critics disagreed. I just don't get it. Was SO bad.
Wow, am I ever going to write a journal entry that flows? This is what I get for multi-tasking. I just can't keep up with conversations and write a coherent entry at the same time. So I guess I'll just end this here and talk more later. I really just wanted to keep up the updating pattern anyway.