Things that would not ever happen under any normal circumstances
...but have occurred while working at Canobie:
1. I bruised my head by hitting it on a tampon machine by accident.
2. I have sung along to terrible boy band songs, while knowing all the words.
3. I have also danced to said boy band songs.
4. I know all the words to Jessica Simpson's "With You."
5. Ditto Ashlee Simpson's "Pieces of Me."
6. One day when it was really slow while working at Coaster Chase I was bored out of my mind and I started to do long division just for something to DO.
7. I also counted to a thousand. What's worse is that I succeeded.
8. I have flung rubber lobsters from catapaults.
9. I have chatted with mildly attractive security guards, one of whom told me he was 28 seemingly at random.
10. I have listened to little plastic frogs click themselves into insanity.
11. I have endured this one guy I worked with talking to me about Final Fantasy nonstop. And when I'd change the subject he'd change it back to Final Fantasy. And when I went to go help guests he'd resume talking about Final Fantasy when I got back. I DO NOT CARE ABOUT FINAL FANTASY!
12. I have been asked "Is this free?" more times than I can count.
13. I have learned how to rip people off in a quiet, easy manner.
14. I have learned how to not yell at people who ask you really stupid questions.
15. I can count money very very well. Hah.
16. Some kids yelled "show me your tits!" at me from the log ride while I was working at the basketball game. Needless to say I did not.
17. I have learned how to outfit people in rock climbing harnesses without groping them.
18. And I've climbed all the rock climbing walls. Yay!
19. This one time I was working at one of the arcades, I windexed EVERYTHING there (all the games and machines, the windows, the change machines, the mirrors, the counters, etc) and I told my group leader that I had at the end of my shift. She, who had insisted that I be constantly vigilant and told me that if I wasn't cleaning things or giving out prizes or fixing things at all times I'd be written up, just shrugged and said, "Oh, okay." After I'd used up a whole roll of paper towels and spent three hours windexing everything. The place was fucking spotless.
20. Fried food no longer smells good anymore.
21. I can give change! Useful if I decide to one day slave my life to a cash register.
22. I have learned that little kids are actually the most fun to deal with. Their parents are the worst.
23. Because the park playlist plays the same songs over and over and over, I have learned to predict what songs come next.
24. I sing along with the Bob the Builder show on a regular basis.
25. I have realized that everyone else there hates their job just as much as I do (except for the people higher up than me).
26. I have learned that if you decide to override the management's judgment and make a sign that says "PLEASE DO NOT JUMP ON THE SCALE" and put it on the scale because people jump on it all the time and it is annoying as hell, all of the managers will come running to flip out at you at once. Not because you put the sign up, but because it was handwritten and not typed.
27. I have found that bumblebees quite enjoy stalking and terrorizing you, particularly if you are working alone at Lobster Trap.
28. I have befriended many skunks, some of whom will roam around your feet and the prizes while you work.
29. I have questioned people's intelligence, especially when guests ask if the skunks are part of the scenery, like the peacocks.
30. Every day I rewrite my definition of "boring."
31. I have made two little girls cry.
(I asked one girl what color My Little Pony she wanted after winning a game, and she replied, "pink!" Unfortunately we didn't have any pink ones, there were only orange and white and blue. So I said, "we don't have any pink ones, sorry, but they have pink on their tails and manes," and when she finally realized that I did not have any pink My Little Ponies, she burst out into tears. The other girl I made cry when, while working at the rock climbing wall, I told her she was too short to climb the wall [she was under 48 inches] and she started to cry. And then her dad came over and yelled at me and said "You made my little girl cry!!" And I really wanted to say back to him, "Yeah, I told her she couldn't climb the wall, but do you really want your kid falling out of the harness and breaking her neck? Yeah, I didn't think so." But I didn't.)
32. I wrote this list. At work.
Edit (8/12/08): 33. I chatted with a lovely security officer who showed me his knife wounds and then asked if I fought in my spare time.
34. Said security officer and I also quizzed each other on world geography and state and country capitals. WE ARE LAME.
1. I bruised my head by hitting it on a tampon machine by accident.
2. I have sung along to terrible boy band songs, while knowing all the words.
3. I have also danced to said boy band songs.
4. I know all the words to Jessica Simpson's "With You."
5. Ditto Ashlee Simpson's "Pieces of Me."
6. One day when it was really slow while working at Coaster Chase I was bored out of my mind and I started to do long division just for something to DO.
7. I also counted to a thousand. What's worse is that I succeeded.
8. I have flung rubber lobsters from catapaults.
9. I have chatted with mildly attractive security guards, one of whom told me he was 28 seemingly at random.
10. I have listened to little plastic frogs click themselves into insanity.
11. I have endured this one guy I worked with talking to me about Final Fantasy nonstop. And when I'd change the subject he'd change it back to Final Fantasy. And when I went to go help guests he'd resume talking about Final Fantasy when I got back. I DO NOT CARE ABOUT FINAL FANTASY!
12. I have been asked "Is this free?" more times than I can count.
13. I have learned how to rip people off in a quiet, easy manner.
14. I have learned how to not yell at people who ask you really stupid questions.
15. I can count money very very well. Hah.
16. Some kids yelled "show me your tits!" at me from the log ride while I was working at the basketball game. Needless to say I did not.
17. I have learned how to outfit people in rock climbing harnesses without groping them.
18. And I've climbed all the rock climbing walls. Yay!
19. This one time I was working at one of the arcades, I windexed EVERYTHING there (all the games and machines, the windows, the change machines, the mirrors, the counters, etc) and I told my group leader that I had at the end of my shift. She, who had insisted that I be constantly vigilant and told me that if I wasn't cleaning things or giving out prizes or fixing things at all times I'd be written up, just shrugged and said, "Oh, okay." After I'd used up a whole roll of paper towels and spent three hours windexing everything. The place was fucking spotless.
20. Fried food no longer smells good anymore.
21. I can give change! Useful if I decide to one day slave my life to a cash register.
22. I have learned that little kids are actually the most fun to deal with. Their parents are the worst.
23. Because the park playlist plays the same songs over and over and over, I have learned to predict what songs come next.
24. I sing along with the Bob the Builder show on a regular basis.
25. I have realized that everyone else there hates their job just as much as I do (except for the people higher up than me).
26. I have learned that if you decide to override the management's judgment and make a sign that says "PLEASE DO NOT JUMP ON THE SCALE" and put it on the scale because people jump on it all the time and it is annoying as hell, all of the managers will come running to flip out at you at once. Not because you put the sign up, but because it was handwritten and not typed.
27. I have found that bumblebees quite enjoy stalking and terrorizing you, particularly if you are working alone at Lobster Trap.
28. I have befriended many skunks, some of whom will roam around your feet and the prizes while you work.
29. I have questioned people's intelligence, especially when guests ask if the skunks are part of the scenery, like the peacocks.
30. Every day I rewrite my definition of "boring."
31. I have made two little girls cry.
(I asked one girl what color My Little Pony she wanted after winning a game, and she replied, "pink!" Unfortunately we didn't have any pink ones, there were only orange and white and blue. So I said, "we don't have any pink ones, sorry, but they have pink on their tails and manes," and when she finally realized that I did not have any pink My Little Ponies, she burst out into tears. The other girl I made cry when, while working at the rock climbing wall, I told her she was too short to climb the wall [she was under 48 inches] and she started to cry. And then her dad came over and yelled at me and said "You made my little girl cry!!" And I really wanted to say back to him, "Yeah, I told her she couldn't climb the wall, but do you really want your kid falling out of the harness and breaking her neck? Yeah, I didn't think so." But I didn't.)
32. I wrote this list. At work.
Edit (8/12/08): 33. I chatted with a lovely security officer who showed me his knife wounds and then asked if I fought in my spare time.
34. Said security officer and I also quizzed each other on world geography and state and country capitals. WE ARE LAME.