Another pathetic attempt at a quotes entry...
What to do when I feel depressed and stressed beyond belief, with a senior project research paper due tomorrow, along with a Calculus test, and college applications, and tons of other random homework and I don't feel like doing any of it? Cheer myself up with a quotes entry, of course.
Not to disappoint you or anything, but I have heard DOZENS of excellent quotes that really made me excited to write a quotes entry, and I forgot every single one of them, so none of those excellent quotes are in here. Sorry.
Again, most of these quotes (but not all of them) are subject lines. But I haven't done a quotes entry for a loooong time, so, with some luck, maybe you won't recognize them.
And also, again, I have two very good friends named Chris, and they each have several quotes on here, so don't mix them up.
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Me: *watching Steven open some shoe polish and take out his ROTC shoes* What's the shoe polish for?
Steven/Chris: *stare*
[Chris was talking about how he stuck sticky notes with unflattering messages to the backs of random people at school]
Chris: I did it to this Mexican kid today too. Needless to say, I think I'm gonna be shot tomorrow.
Chris: *pointing to the wobbling picnic table while annoying Filipino music is playing* Look, the table is dancing.
Mr. Bruce: Must be a gay table.
[in AP Lit]
Teacher: I would hate to end the three-year streak of not liking you, Chris...*thinks* ...wait, I said that wrong.
Chris: It's okay, Ms. Rehm, I know what you meant.
"Two Asians walk into a bar. Two week later...they own it."
-Dat Phan, Vietnamese stand-up comedian
[the continuing saga of Chris' hole...]
Chris: NEVER pour hot soup into any indentation on your body.
[in AP Lit. We had a lot of trouble trying to keep focused this day. Poor Ms. Rehm tried in vain to keep our attention securely in one place.]
Teacher: This is like ADD class...
Dusty: *points* Hey, look at that cloud outside!
[in AP Lit, same day. ^_^]
Teacher: You're all acting like four-year-olds, I'm just glad that you're all not running all over the place or running up and hugging my leg...
Gina: Did she say 'humping' her leg...?
[in Physics, we were going over the test]
Teacher: So, B was the right answer. Although C was the most popular answer. Which proves that physics is not a democracy.
Gina: And he said that I shouldn't be president of French Honor Society. He said Ryan would make a better president. ...Ryan's in Spanish.
[in Newspaper, we were discussing about how the administration made Dan shave his head because his hair was 'distracting']
Josh: I don't even know why they found Dan's hair distracting. If you ask me, people who wear trench coats annoy me more. *gestures to Dan, who is wearing a trench coat*
Lauren: I wanna be a beluga whale!!
Teacher: There are no beluga whales in 'The Jungle Book'...
[at the robotics meeting, the spirit team leader was talking about one of the competitions where he went out to buy some yellow-colored nail polish to help with spirit]
Mr. Gabeler: I was halfway downtown on the subway when I realized I was doing all this with a blue mohawk.
Mr. Gabeler: We also need to come up with a new cheer this year, because we only have one: Charge up!
Everyone: Voltage!
Mr. Gabeler: And that's all we say.
[this is my Asian friend Chris...it's amazing how much the whole fat joke has spread]
Chris: You need to get in shape...ROUND is not a shape.
[at MGM Studios, after watching the Beauty and the Beast show]
Me: As much as I hate to say this, I like the SFA Beauty and the Beast version better.
My sister: That's only because you said Cogsworth's hair was hot.
Me: ....it was.
[after I finished my graphic for the newspaper, which displayed a chalkboard diagram]
Mike: Wow, that looks really nice.
Teacher: That's why we brought her in here. To chalkify things. And so we could say the word 'chalkify'.
[shopping in some store with lots of make-up and perfume and clothes]
Me: Whoa, look at this...*walks over to a weird shaped object*
Mom: What is it?
Ate Jenica: *examines it* Uhh, I don't know.....but wow!
[me and Steven were relaxing and talking about random things, and his feet were under my back]
Steven: I can't feel my feet.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry...
Steven: *shrugs* It's alright, I can't feel anything.
[during Mame rehearsal]
Backstage mom: *disgusted* I was looking around in the boy's dressing room, and there's underwear on the floor in there.
Another mom: You mean, some of them are running around with no underwear on?
Me: *thinks* And you know what, they're onstage doing the Moon Song right now, which means they're all in tights...
[in AP Computer Science]
The Dean: *walks in classroom and beckons to Shiv and Shiv walks over* I've got some bad news.
Shiv: ...
The Dean: ...your sister wants the car keys.
[in Newspaper, Mr. Schledorn was talking about how the juniors should be ready to do extra work next semester because all the seniors will be struck with senioritis. This isn't really funny unless you know just how much of a slacker Josh is.]
Teacher: Even Megan flaked out on me last year. Right around March, all the seniors will be useless.
Jonathan: No, by January.
Josh: I'm already useless!
[written on a Wuthering Heights poster in AP Lit]
"[cue Enter Lord Vader theme] Heathcliff: I am a pansy flowerchild!"
[during piano lessons]
Student: I like your bracelet.
Me: *smiles* Thanks.
Student: Can I have it?
Me: *shocked* No! It's my bracelet!
Student: *thinks* Can I have it when you die?
Me: ...
Chris V. gave me this script that he and Bryant wrote for an AP Lit presentation. The skit was quite amusing, so I hope you enjoy the script, even though they ad libbed...a lot. And the script is seriously nothing without Chris' accents. But oh well.
A&P by John Updike
Bryant: Hello and welcome to the British-American Literature Society. I'm your host, Arthur McGrimmle-weitzen-mayer. Today we will have many guests on the show to talk about the short story, A&P by John Updike. Here now to discuss the plot is Sir William Syndron Stevis Smithe Cursee or "Knobby" as he is known at Oxford.
Now, I didn't like the plot. It was incomplete, like the first chapter of a book. It was a poor vessel with which to relay ideas. It seems to me that the author is a highly immoral man.
Chris: Speaking of the plot, I was watching a reading of A&P once at a theater in London during World War I when a German bomb blew the roof off of the theater, and I looked up and I saw the banister crashing down upon me, and I said "Ahh" and I soiled myself.
Bryant: I can't say that I blame you. I probably would have done the same thing if I had been there.
Chris: No, I mean right now, when I said "Ahh," Excuse me.
Bryant: Well, thank you for your time. Next we will be discussing themes with Dame Mildred DuPree.
Chris: I heard my name. They're calling me again.
Bryant: The themes are outrageous. Women would never wear clothes like that in public.
Chris: I wouldn't be so sure. "The time, they are a'changin'." I don't know who said that. I think it was Mr. Potato Head.
Bryant: Even so, a man would never...
Chris: What I like about Mr. Potato Head is that all of his facial features are completely interchangeable.
Bryant: Even so, a man would never quit his job for a woman.
Chris: Chivalry truly is dead.
Bryant: Well it wasn't a very good way to teach young people good morals or improve them in any way.
Chris: But they are young and lustful. It is a realistic.
Bryant: Get out! Get off my set! Your opinion doesn't ever matter, you're a woman. Next, all the way from the Literary Institute of Ireland, is Patty O'Furniture. Patty, who is your favorite character?
Chris: Well, I would have to say it was the boy-o. He was tenacious. He was right stupid, but he saw what he wanted and he went for it.
Bryant: Are you mad? The only good role model was the manager. He scolded those three streetwalkers and he even tried to give that foolish, lustful, and immature cashier a second chance.
Chris: Oh, come off it. All kids have the right to dress like they want and act like they want and ruin their lives, if need be.
Bryant: You sir, are the lowest of the low that I've had on this show all night, and if you've been watching, you know what an insult that is.
Chris: I'll bet you wouldn't be up on your high stool after ten rounds with me and my friend, Killian Irish Red.
Bryant: I could drink you under the table, you gypsy!
Chris: I'll invite you to try, you tyrannical English prostitute!
Bryant: We'll see about that. That's all the time we have on BALS tonight. Tune in next week when my guests will be Julia Roberts, Steven Hawking, and Mark Twain. Good night. Alright, let's go. Off to the pub! You have no idea what you're getting into.
Chris: I'm just glad I like women.
------------
I promise I'll write things down more often? >.< You have to admit there were a couple amusing ones in there though.
Not to disappoint you or anything, but I have heard DOZENS of excellent quotes that really made me excited to write a quotes entry, and I forgot every single one of them, so none of those excellent quotes are in here. Sorry.
Again, most of these quotes (but not all of them) are subject lines. But I haven't done a quotes entry for a loooong time, so, with some luck, maybe you won't recognize them.
And also, again, I have two very good friends named Chris, and they each have several quotes on here, so don't mix them up.
------------------
Me: *watching Steven open some shoe polish and take out his ROTC shoes* What's the shoe polish for?
Steven/Chris: *stare*
[Chris was talking about how he stuck sticky notes with unflattering messages to the backs of random people at school]
Chris: I did it to this Mexican kid today too. Needless to say, I think I'm gonna be shot tomorrow.
Chris: *pointing to the wobbling picnic table while annoying Filipino music is playing* Look, the table is dancing.
Mr. Bruce: Must be a gay table.
[in AP Lit]
Teacher: I would hate to end the three-year streak of not liking you, Chris...*thinks* ...wait, I said that wrong.
Chris: It's okay, Ms. Rehm, I know what you meant.
"Two Asians walk into a bar. Two week later...they own it."
-Dat Phan, Vietnamese stand-up comedian
[the continuing saga of Chris' hole...]
Chris: NEVER pour hot soup into any indentation on your body.
[in AP Lit. We had a lot of trouble trying to keep focused this day. Poor Ms. Rehm tried in vain to keep our attention securely in one place.]
Teacher: This is like ADD class...
Dusty: *points* Hey, look at that cloud outside!
[in AP Lit, same day. ^_^]
Teacher: You're all acting like four-year-olds, I'm just glad that you're all not running all over the place or running up and hugging my leg...
Gina: Did she say 'humping' her leg...?
[in Physics, we were going over the test]
Teacher: So, B was the right answer. Although C was the most popular answer. Which proves that physics is not a democracy.
Gina: And he said that I shouldn't be president of French Honor Society. He said Ryan would make a better president. ...Ryan's in Spanish.
[in Newspaper, we were discussing about how the administration made Dan shave his head because his hair was 'distracting']
Josh: I don't even know why they found Dan's hair distracting. If you ask me, people who wear trench coats annoy me more. *gestures to Dan, who is wearing a trench coat*
Lauren: I wanna be a beluga whale!!
Teacher: There are no beluga whales in 'The Jungle Book'...
[at the robotics meeting, the spirit team leader was talking about one of the competitions where he went out to buy some yellow-colored nail polish to help with spirit]
Mr. Gabeler: I was halfway downtown on the subway when I realized I was doing all this with a blue mohawk.
Mr. Gabeler: We also need to come up with a new cheer this year, because we only have one: Charge up!
Everyone: Voltage!
Mr. Gabeler: And that's all we say.
[this is my Asian friend Chris...it's amazing how much the whole fat joke has spread]
Chris: You need to get in shape...ROUND is not a shape.
[at MGM Studios, after watching the Beauty and the Beast show]
Me: As much as I hate to say this, I like the SFA Beauty and the Beast version better.
My sister: That's only because you said Cogsworth's hair was hot.
Me: ....it was.
[after I finished my graphic for the newspaper, which displayed a chalkboard diagram]
Mike: Wow, that looks really nice.
Teacher: That's why we brought her in here. To chalkify things. And so we could say the word 'chalkify'.
[shopping in some store with lots of make-up and perfume and clothes]
Me: Whoa, look at this...*walks over to a weird shaped object*
Mom: What is it?
Ate Jenica: *examines it* Uhh, I don't know.....but wow!
[me and Steven were relaxing and talking about random things, and his feet were under my back]
Steven: I can't feel my feet.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry...
Steven: *shrugs* It's alright, I can't feel anything.
[during Mame rehearsal]
Backstage mom: *disgusted* I was looking around in the boy's dressing room, and there's underwear on the floor in there.
Another mom: You mean, some of them are running around with no underwear on?
Me: *thinks* And you know what, they're onstage doing the Moon Song right now, which means they're all in tights...
[in AP Computer Science]
The Dean: *walks in classroom and beckons to Shiv and Shiv walks over* I've got some bad news.
Shiv: ...
The Dean: ...your sister wants the car keys.
[in Newspaper, Mr. Schledorn was talking about how the juniors should be ready to do extra work next semester because all the seniors will be struck with senioritis. This isn't really funny unless you know just how much of a slacker Josh is.]
Teacher: Even Megan flaked out on me last year. Right around March, all the seniors will be useless.
Jonathan: No, by January.
Josh: I'm already useless!
[written on a Wuthering Heights poster in AP Lit]
"[cue Enter Lord Vader theme] Heathcliff: I am a pansy flowerchild!"
[during piano lessons]
Student: I like your bracelet.
Me: *smiles* Thanks.
Student: Can I have it?
Me: *shocked* No! It's my bracelet!
Student: *thinks* Can I have it when you die?
Me: ...
Chris V. gave me this script that he and Bryant wrote for an AP Lit presentation. The skit was quite amusing, so I hope you enjoy the script, even though they ad libbed...a lot. And the script is seriously nothing without Chris' accents. But oh well.
A&P by John Updike
Bryant: Hello and welcome to the British-American Literature Society. I'm your host, Arthur McGrimmle-weitzen-mayer. Today we will have many guests on the show to talk about the short story, A&P by John Updike. Here now to discuss the plot is Sir William Syndron Stevis Smithe Cursee or "Knobby" as he is known at Oxford.
Now, I didn't like the plot. It was incomplete, like the first chapter of a book. It was a poor vessel with which to relay ideas. It seems to me that the author is a highly immoral man.
Chris: Speaking of the plot, I was watching a reading of A&P once at a theater in London during World War I when a German bomb blew the roof off of the theater, and I looked up and I saw the banister crashing down upon me, and I said "Ahh" and I soiled myself.
Bryant: I can't say that I blame you. I probably would have done the same thing if I had been there.
Chris: No, I mean right now, when I said "Ahh," Excuse me.
Bryant: Well, thank you for your time. Next we will be discussing themes with Dame Mildred DuPree.
Chris: I heard my name. They're calling me again.
Bryant: The themes are outrageous. Women would never wear clothes like that in public.
Chris: I wouldn't be so sure. "The time, they are a'changin'." I don't know who said that. I think it was Mr. Potato Head.
Bryant: Even so, a man would never...
Chris: What I like about Mr. Potato Head is that all of his facial features are completely interchangeable.
Bryant: Even so, a man would never quit his job for a woman.
Chris: Chivalry truly is dead.
Bryant: Well it wasn't a very good way to teach young people good morals or improve them in any way.
Chris: But they are young and lustful. It is a realistic.
Bryant: Get out! Get off my set! Your opinion doesn't ever matter, you're a woman. Next, all the way from the Literary Institute of Ireland, is Patty O'Furniture. Patty, who is your favorite character?
Chris: Well, I would have to say it was the boy-o. He was tenacious. He was right stupid, but he saw what he wanted and he went for it.
Bryant: Are you mad? The only good role model was the manager. He scolded those three streetwalkers and he even tried to give that foolish, lustful, and immature cashier a second chance.
Chris: Oh, come off it. All kids have the right to dress like they want and act like they want and ruin their lives, if need be.
Bryant: You sir, are the lowest of the low that I've had on this show all night, and if you've been watching, you know what an insult that is.
Chris: I'll bet you wouldn't be up on your high stool after ten rounds with me and my friend, Killian Irish Red.
Bryant: I could drink you under the table, you gypsy!
Chris: I'll invite you to try, you tyrannical English prostitute!
Bryant: We'll see about that. That's all the time we have on BALS tonight. Tune in next week when my guests will be Julia Roberts, Steven Hawking, and Mark Twain. Good night. Alright, let's go. Off to the pub! You have no idea what you're getting into.
Chris: I'm just glad I like women.
------------
I promise I'll write things down more often? >.< You have to admit there were a couple amusing ones in there though.