A Flawed Fragility: Chapter 15
As polled, you guys voted for a super-sized chapter instead of more frequent smaller ones so here goes! I apologize if this feels as though the story is progressing slowly (not referring to my updating time) but I really want to give a feel for the 'feel' of the story and do justice to the exposition.
As always, I voraciously await your reviews and comments with an avidity probably unbecoming of an author, but alas, so be it, I is who I is! :P
“Mom, are you ok?” Caroline eyed her mother anxiously over her bowl of cereal the next morning, small brows knitted together in concern as she took in the way Miranda’s hands stayed all but glued to her belly and her eyes stayed dreamy and distant.
“Yes Bobbseys, the babies are just moving around in mommy’s tummy.”
“Really?”
“Can I feel?”
Andy just narrowly grabbed the stools from crashing to the ground as the two excited almost eleven year olds rushed over to feel their new siblings.
“Mmm, they’re still too little to feel from the outside,” Miranda explained, covering the two small pairs of hands that had attached themselves to either side of her belly.
Andy joined in the conversation, walking over from the coffee machine with her mug. “But once the babies are a little bigger, you’ll be able to feel them all the time - you’ll probably be able to see them moving around as well.”
“Like in Alien? Ew!”
“Not eww, Caro. It’s cool!”
Cassidy pursed her lips in an endearingly familiar gesture. “Is the test today gonna hurt the babies? They have to use a needle right?”
“The needle is just going to collect a sample of the fluid around the babies so the doctors can look at it under a microscope to make sure everything is developing correctly. We’ll be home before you come back from piano practice after school.” Miranda reassured her as yet youngest daughter.
“Maybe we can even watch a movie before dinner if your mom’s not too tired.” Andy winked at the girls before handing them their backpacks, hearing Roy pull up to the townhouse.
The amnio wasn’t scheduled until two o’clock, and Miranda had originally taken the whole day off, hence the unusual pleasure of sleeping in until the heathenish hour of 8 am and being there when the girls left for school, but now Andrea noticed the restless movements of the older woman and the way her teeth kept catching her bottom lip.
“Hey,” Andy approached the anxious figure, wrapping her arms loosely around her waist but keeping far back enough so that she had to look her in the eyes.
“Did you want to go into Runway for a few hours? We can go for lunch and then to the appointment.”
“You wouldn’t mind?” Miranda quickly dismissed the thought of pretending that hadn’t occurred to her; and looking into the familiar warmth of the brown gaze found that Andrea knew it was an offer of escape from the worries that tightened her chest and shortened her breath.
“It’s Thursday. You won’t be in the office again until Monday and by going in today you can reassure yourself that everything’s on track so you won’t have to worry about more than one thing. Well, two things.” Andy smirked, letting her thumbs slip under the loose tunic top Miranda was wearing to rub in gentle circles, still keeping her hands firmly on Miranda’s hips as she pulled her closer.
More grateful than ever for the exquisite gift she had been given in Andrea, Miranda inhaled shakily before attacking Andrea’s mouth with her own, trying to put everything she was unable to vocalise into the kiss.
Even with a swollen belly and a more rolling gait, Miranda Priestly could still scare the living shit out of someone with the same efficacy as her pre-pregnancy days had afforded her, if not more with the added threat of increased hormonal instability looming over the heads of the unlucky.
“Ray Ann, if I had wanted to feature shapeless gingham smocks, the text on the doors would read The Prairie Home Companion. Seeing as they read ‘Runway’, I would recommend bringing me something than Laura Ingalls rejects by the end of the day or you’ll no longer have a reason to walk through those doors.”
As the thoroughly chastened clacker flew out of Miranda’s office Andy looked up from the couch where she had set up shop for the morning and was working on her articles for The Mirror.
“Do you know what that does to me when you’re standing there, all pregnant and cute and then you tear someone down, making me hot as fuck? Do you know what that mixture does to me?”
Miranda looked up at her innocently before her eyes narrowed familiarly. “I don’t believe I asked you to comment, Andrea.” As she spoke she arched her back slightly and rubbed the protruding swell of her belly, keeping Andy in a kind of dazed hypnosis until she realized what Miranda was doing to her.
The wicked, pleasured glint in the older woman’s eyes told Andy that she knew exactly what she was doing and Andy rolled her eyes before placing her own hand on the couture-clad swell and leaning in for a kiss. “You’re evil,” she growled, sucking on the lower lip that had curved up in a knowing grin.
“Thank you, darling.”
Less than two hours later though, Miranda’s good mood had disappeared. She hadn’t said anything, but the faint scowl on her lips that Andy was extremely tempted to kiss off, in conjunction with the quiet exasperated sigh every time she glanced over at her usual lunch fare, Andrea having consented to eat in the office so Miranda could deal with a misplaced layout urged Andy to her feet.
Crouching down next to Miranda’s chair, Andy slipped her hand underneath Miranda’s blouse to run her fingers over the gentle curve of exposed skin between the blousy Vivienne Westwood Anglomania shirt and the form fitting YSL skirt that sat just on the older woman’s hips in deference to the bulge that would continue to dictate what Miranda could wear out of her ‘old’ closet. It was only the clever draping of Miranda’s shirt that concealed the bare swell so that no one over 3 feet tall would be able to see the strip of her uncovered skin.
Miranda spoke very softly as she looked down at her desk, both hands rubbing gentle little circles on her belly. “It’s not what the babies want,” her voice was almost a whisper and Andy had to physically restrain herself from cuddling the forlorn looking woman in front of the whole office.
Andy knelt next to the chair and covered Miranda’s hands with her own as she tilted her head upwards for a kiss. “What do the babies want, my love?”
Anger, frustration and embarrassment all flashed across the editor’s face as she struggled to admit her unsavory, plebeian cravings.
A long, drawn out groan could be heard from the doors of the editor’s office, almost through the closed glass doors. And if it hadn’t been for the glass doors and open blinds, the groan would have sounded decidedly sexual if one did not know that the reason behind it was a greasy, fast food burger that was quickly disappearing down the gullet of one fashion and publishing icon.
“Good God, Sachs,” Emily muttered to herself from her position in the outer office. “Isn’t it supposed to be the pregnant one who gets cravings and the license to ingest as much cellulite as they can hold?”
Now it was Nigel’s turn to smirk as he came through the outer office doors with the now-recovered layout. As amusing as it would be to see the redhead’s reaction, he was NOT going to be the one to tell her the timbre of the sounds emanating from the inner office meant that they were coming from Miranda.
As the clock ticked closer and closer to two o’clock however, Miranda found her lunch was not sitting well. Exhaling slowly to calm her roiling stomach, Miranda leaned back in her chair, closing her eyes and focusing her energies on breathing evenly through her mouth. The uncomfortable twinges still hadn’t eased a few minutes later and Miranda could feel equal parts of fear and bile rise in her throat as the pains shifted slightly, intensifying until they could be indisputably classified as out and out cramps.
“Andrea,” Miranda’s voice cracked with fear as she sat motionlessly, terrified that at any moment the cramps would set off bleeding and signal a miscarriage.
“Mm?” Andrea hummed distractedly, not wanting to pull her eyes away from the screen until she had made sure the phrasing was correct in the sentence she was working on.
“Andrea!” the voice had quieted to a harsh whisper, but the panic laced through it pierced through Andrea’s brain until it was as though Miranda had screamed.
Andy practically lunged towards Miranda, all thoughts of her article gone in an instant even as the laptop hit the floor. Her hands fluttered around the hunched figure, not wanting to touch her for fear of causing her any more pain or risking any damage.
“Something’s not right!” Miranda’s breathing was laboured and shallow as she searched Andrea’s eyes for reassurance, her heart felt as though it was going to beat out of her chest.
Resting her hands lightly on Miranda’s legs, Andy forced her own panic back and rubbed the stockinged knees under her palms, knowing there were about a million different things the pains could mean.
“Do you feel any spotting or bleeding?”
Miranda shifted slightly in her seat, feeling for any sign of wetness before shaking her head. “No.”
The low, soothing tones of Andy’s voice coupled with the gentle repetitive motion of her fingers across her knees allowed Miranda to slow her breathing so that the feeling of lightheadedness faded slightly.
“Does it feel like the round ligament pain you’ve been having?”
Again, Miranda shook her head in the negative.
As Andy asked the questions she had texted Roy who was now waiting outside.
She spoke the next two words carefully, knowing Miranda’s interpretation of them could go the way of a hundred different variables.
“Roy’s here.”
Miranda nodded, the hand not clutching Andrea’s still pressed to the site of the pain.
“Have Emily cancel Jason Wu. Reschedule the meeting for next week and have Nigel make the rest of the decisions for the last page of the layout.”
Andy texted the directives to Emily from where she was still kneeling on the floor next to Miranda.
“Done. Do you think you can walk to the car?”
Miranda nodded, donning her sunglasses even before she left her office so that no one would be able to see the redness and worry lines around her eyes.
“Thank you,” she whispered, clutching her coat a little more tightly over her shoulders as they went down the elevator.
“Always.”
During the ride across town, Andy called ahead to the doctor’s office to let them know they were coming in ahead of schedule and that Miranda was experiencing cramping and discomfort along with shortness of breath.
Her symptoms had eased somewhat by the time they were shown to the examining room, and Miranda started to feel a bit ridiculous as Dr. Avery met them immediately at the door, her mask and scrubs still in place as though she had very abruptly left after her last appointment.
Not wasting any time, Dr. Avery changed her sterile gloves for a new pair and rolled her stool over to the examining table where Miranda had lain back with Andy’s assistance, adjusting her clothing so that the older brunette woman could start her examination immediately.
Glancing at the blood pressure cuff she had strapped around Miranda’s arm the minute the other woman was admitted, Dr. Avery nodded before turning back to her patient, gently feeling her belly before instructing her to put her feet in the stirrups.
“Blood pressure is high, but it’s already started to creep back down. I expect it will go back down to normal even before we administer a mild sedative for the amnio.
“And the sedative, it won’t hurt the babies?” Miranda asked, repeating herself despite having asked the question multiple times before when discussing the amnio procedure.”
“It’s a bigger risk to have your blood pressure rise when you’re on the operating table even though it’s a minimally invasive procedure,” Dr. Avery assured the pair, smiling to herself as she saw the way the younger brunette’s arm circled Miranda’s shoulders and brought the tightly clenched fingers to her lips.
Adjusting the foetal monitoring belt around Miranda’s waist, Dr. Avery turned the computer monitor around so that its results were visible to her patient and her partner.
“There. Miranda, as you can see, your babies are perfectly fine. Their heart rate is slightly elevated but still within normal ranges and will almost certainly go back down as yours does. There are no signs of fluid leakage or effacement, and judging by your description of where the pain you’re experiencing is located, I can assure you that it’s not harmful.”
“What is it then?” Andy queried, her concern still evident even after Miranda’s shoulders had slumped in relief at the doctor’s pronouncement. “Is Miranda alright?”
“This episode was almost certainly a panic attack coupled with gas pain brought on by indigestion which was exacerbated by the stress Miranda was feeling about the tests today.”
Now it was Andrea’s turn to breathe a sigh of relief even as Miranda’s face reddened, a look of horror spreading across her features, contrasting oddly with the conflicting emotion of relief at the knowledge that there was nothing wrong with the babies.
Hearing her babies’ heartbeats, fast as they were, was enough to slow Miranda’s racing pulse even before the sedative started to take effect. Satisfied with the latest read-out from the monitors, Dr. Avery began preparations for the amniocentesis, administering the local anaesthetic and setting up the ultrasound that would guide the needle through to the amniotic sac.
Despite the fear still flooding the synapses of her brain, a warmth spread in her chest as she watched the hazy grey blur of the ultrasound screen take the shape of two tiny babies moving gently in the womb.
“My babies,” Miranda murmured, transfixed by the image on the screen until Andrea’s own shaky voice broke through.
“Oh God, they’re perfect. Look at them, Miranda. Oh, they’ve gotten so big since the last ultrasound!”
Dr. Avery had taken opportunity of their distraction and began the slow insertion of the nearly foot-long needle, only warning them as the needle became visible on screen as it penetrated the membrane. Drawing back the plunger, she removed about an ounce of fluid before withdrawing the needle, careful not to pull and widen the all but microscopic hole in the amniotic sac as she pulled out.
“Now as we discussed, we’ll test the amnio cultures for the live fetal cells and alpha-fetoprotein levels and we’ll discuss the results at your 18 week checkup, which is also when we’ll do the structural ultrasound to measure each baby’s growth. You’ve also finally started to put on weight, which is excellent.” Miranda blushed lightly and Andy fought to hide a smirk as she thought of the cravings Miranda had begun to have in the last week; cravings that in the last week had included no less than six hamburgers, four pineapples and on one occasion that still made Caroline and Cassidy gag, olives and peanut butter.
“As for post procedure instructions, plenty of fluids, plenty of rest and as little stress as possible. Ah, and no sex or other strenuous activity for the next 24-48 hours.”
Miranda had returned enough to herself to this point to smirk slightly in the doctor’s direction and raise her eyebrow in a questioning glance. “And here I thought you said as little stress.”
“We got it doc, thanks.” Andy spoke up after choking back a snort of laughter. “Can I take her home now?”
“Andrea, I am not some parcel to be delivered and carted as you see fit.”
“Yes, Miranda.”
“Oh, stop that.”
“Yes, Miranda.” Andy grinned cheekily back at the reclined editor, still stroking a hand through white locks.
“Twenty minutes lying down and then a quick check of your vitals and you’re free to go.” Dr. Avery shook her head, a wry smile gracing her own features as she closed the door behind her.
“I’m so proud of you.” Once they were in the car, Andy leaned over to rest her head on Miranda’s shoulder, who scoffed at the remark but didn’t let go of the younger woman’s hand.
“For what? Embarassing myself? I acted an absolute fool.”
“For loving these babies so much that you were willing to put off an important meeting to make sure they were safe.”
“Hmmph…” Miranda didn’t say anything else but the lines of tension around her eyes and mouth had eased and her posture was less rigid as they simply sat and enjoyed a rare silent moment as the car brought them home.
Once they were inside the townhouse, Andrea pushed Miranda gently towards the stairs, seeing that the older woman was starting to feel the discomfort of the procedure now that the anaesthetic was wearing off.
“Go on, shoo. I’m going to make you a cup of tea and you’re going to change into your pajamas, no arguments. It’s a pajama-during-the-day kind of day.”
“Don’t forget the honey,” Miranda’s voice floated down from the third floor.
“Course not - I’ll be up in a sec…and I’ll even put some in the tea,” she called back teasingly as she set a mug down on the tray to carry up. Hopefully the lavender-mint mixture would calm Miranda’s indigestion.
As Andy had suspected, Miranda had fallen asleep even before the water for the tea had finished boiling. Andy was tempted to curl up with her, but made her way down to the study instead, the nagging feeling of being behind on her articles outweighing her tiredness.
Satisfied with the progress she had made, Andy shut her laptop as she heard the front door open and close, smiling fondly as she heard the badly hushed whispers of Caroline and Cassidy as they told each other to be quiet so they didn’t disturb their mom.
“Hey monsters, how was piano practice?”
“Fine,” came the dual answer quickly as they each claimed a hand at Andy’s side.
“Andy, is mom okay?”
“And the babies?”
“Why don’t you guys go find some movie snacks and I’ll go see if your mom’s awake and we can watch in the big bed?”
The illicit lure of popcorn before dinner won out and the two redheads raced into the kitchen, already arguing over which flavour to make.
As she made her way up the stairs with the tea tray, she stopped suddenly, the gasp of pain as the hot tea scalded her hand masking the quaver of laughter in her voice as she heard a discrete belch, and then a second not so discrete one come from the direction of the bedroom., she stopped suddenly, the gasp of pain as the hot tea scalded her hand masking the quaver of laughter in her voice as she heard a discrete belch, and then a second not so discrete one come from the direction of the bedroom.
“Ouch, dammit!”
“Andrea?” Miranda appeared in the doorway, her hand absentmindedly rubbing her chest as though she had heartburn.
“Fine, I’m fine - just splashed tea on myself. Back into bed with you, lady.”
Lips pursed slightly and Miranda’s hands moved to lace underneath her belly as she leaned against the doorframe, mumbling something under her breath.
“What was that?”
Miranda sighed, rolling her eyes in exasperation at having to repeat herself. “I said it’s lonely…without you there, it’s lonely. I find I’m not as comfortable without you beside me.”
Feeling charmed and not a bit puckish, Andy kissed Miranda’s cheek before cocking her head to one side impishly. “And I distinctly remember a time where you said you would prefer to sleep alone.”
“Are you going to continue to make fun of me or are you going to join me? Because if you continue, I assure you I will have no qualms about sleeping alone for the week while you’re on the sofa.”
“I’m sorry. You know how much I love holding you. Even with the bump you fit in my arms perfectly.”
Mollified slightly, Miranda crawled back into bed, wincing slightly as she lifted her legs to slide under the covers.
“Could I have two Tylenol please?”
“Sure sweetheart, one sec. Is the anaesthetic wearing off?”
“Mmm,” Miranda hummed in confirmation as she flattened her palms against the sides of her abdomen, lifting her eyes to meet Andy’s as the younger woman reappeared from the bathroom with the pills and a glass of water in hand.
“Thank you,” Miranda handed the glass back after swallowing the two tablets. “They’re moving again. Now that it’s worn off I can feel them.”
“God, I can’t wait until I can feel them too.” Andy ducked down and kissed Miranda’s belly quickly before straightening back up as a crash sounded from downstairs.
“Alright, we’ll split up. You take care of these babies, I’m going to go see what the original set is doing down there.”
“Whoah, guys guys guys. It’s a mini movie marathon, not the apocalypse!” Andy exclaimed, coming into the kitchen and seeing what looked like the entire contents of the refrigerator littering the countertop.
“We didn’t know what mom would be craving today,” Cassidy explained logically, Caroline nodding in agreement from behind her where she was perched on a stool elbow-deep in the cupboard searching for what appeared to be a bag of mini marshmallows.
“Okay, okay,” Andy lifted the small girl from her precariously balanced stance.
Narrowing down the girls’ ‘choice’ to a single tray of veggies and crackers - with a few mini marshmallows as garnish courtesy of Caroline, Andy measured out the popcorn into several smaller bowls, seasoning one with the dill flavour Miranda had been favouring the past week.
“If we can’t bring Mohammed to the mountain,” she quipped teasingly, raising the stainless steel bowl in reference.
“Does mom know you compare her to a mountain?” Caroline teased back, eyes lighting up with impish glee as she smirked.
“I’d be careful if I were you,” Andy warned. “Remember, I’m the one holding the popcorn!”
Once they were all piled into the king-sized bed, Caroline and Cassidy looked at each other, seemingly holding a silent discussion until they turned towards their mother in tandem.
“Mommy?”
“Yes darlings?”
“What was it like when you had us in your tummy?”
Miranda smiled softly, and not a little sadly, as she compared the two children on the bed to the tiny babies of a decade ago when she had last been pregnant.
“Caroline was Baby A, and she liked to stretch out right here,” Miranda smoothed a hand over the far right side of her belly. “And Cassidy was Baby B and she would always curl up in a ball right in the middle and squirm and squirm around.” Miranda poked the small redhead as she spoke, making her giggle and squirm much as how Miranda had described.
“D’you think they’re gonna be like us?” Caroline’s small hand joined Andy’s larger one as it gently circled the gravid swell, careful to avoid the bruised area where the needle had been inserted.
“I hope all my babies are as sweet and smart and loving,” Miranda smiled softly as she ran the back of her hand over the soft skin on the cheek of her firstborn.
“I also think they’ll be as different as you and Cassidy are in their personalities.”
“What? We’re not different at all? You and Andy and sometimes Dad are the only ones who can tell us apart more than half the time.” Now it was Cassidy who spoke up.
Caroline’s brow furrowed, changing her features so that she so clearly resembled Miranda that Andy couldn’t help but grin despite the child’s confusion.
“In some ways you are similar, yes. And you both have many wonderful attributes that you share with one another; but you are most definitely two different individuals.”
“Think of it this way,” Andy broke in, “what is your favourite class in school?”
“Art and Science,” Cassidy stated confidently at the same time Caroline stated “English”.
“And your favourite food?”
“Pizza!”
“Pancakes!”
“See? Different!” Andy tweaked their noses as she spoke before returning to her spot, curled around Miranda against the headboard.
The redheads heard the nearly silent happy hum their mother made when she was feeling good as Miranda sighed and snuggled into Andy so that she was draped over the younger woman’s torso, her head resting over Andy’s heart; the deep constant heartbeat Miranda found so soothing lulling her quickly to sleep almost before the opening titles of the movie had finished.
In case you forgot since the opening comments, given the length of this chapter, any and all reviews are appreciated ;) The muse thanks you!