On Characterization Woes....
I survived the storms! Huzzah!
I really do have some bizarre fascination with Hohenheim as a professor. I don't know why or where it came from, but I do.
Moving on:
If you don't care at all about Envy, or if Envy!het squicks you, go back now.
The more I try and get a firm grasp on Envy's first person voice, the more I feel like I have no clue what the fuck I'm doing when I write him. The last time I wrote anything from his POV was, I believe, Frater Certamen. It was either that or Every Romance Ever Written. Both of them played heavily on his bratty, egotistical, spoiled nature. I took that part of him that remains a pissy teenager and trained the spotlight on that. Because the situations - both involving him thrust into close quarters with teenage girls - brought that aspect out in him.
In 'Frater Certamen', Winry brings out the part of him that covets. He strikes up a connection with Winry because Winry is Ed's, and Envy wants what Ed has. In his mind, Ed has taken everything that should be his, so it's only right and fair that Envy take something of Ed's. In this case, Winry. Who, at fourteen in the fic, is rather childish and immature herself. The double influence of want and immaturity combine to really bring about a petty, sarcastic, almost needy side of Envy. And in a way, a very human side of him. He's very much trapped in the past, as we see when he visits the ruins of the Elric family home. He's eaten up with this sense of injustice and unfairness that's very, very immature and fitting a teenager. And further proof of his immaturity is illustrated in his actions towards Winry. He wants her, he intends to have her. He's seeking instant gratification, some sense of mollification for the wrongs he believes have been done to him. And Winry's constant talk of Ed, the unspoken comparisons she makes, only serves to escalate both the want - the want to take what's Ed's - and the sense of injustice. He is constantly reminded of who he sees as his rival. He lashes out, he can't control his emotions, he's erratic and easily upset and controlled by his anger.
In 'Every Romance Ever Written', he's still very much a teenager but in a much more confident sense. Ed hasn't been born yet, there's no focused hate towards any rival. There's only the general hate towards his father, nurtured and cultured over the years. In this one he's more brash, egotistical, boastful. Like a teenage boy who's trying so hard to be cool, he's sarcastic with Izumi and brushes her off and bickers with her in rather classic faux-flirtation. There's no sense of want here, no sense of covetousness, because Izumi doesn't belong to anyone except in a vague sense Dante. And while Envy shows some vague interest in the later part of the story of having some claim over a body his mother wants, it's almost an afterthought. Though he scoffs at Izumi and scorns her and moans that she's annoying and bothers him, he also seems as though he's trying to impress her. He moans just a bit too loudly, he's the one who first makes comments about how there's sexual tension between them, and they end up with a relatively stable and yet very, very teenage relationship.
So what have I concluded? I need to develop the bits of Envy that are centuries old and capable of brilliant acts of deception and manipulation. I need to return to the Envy I wrote when I was writing Envy/Sloth, and form out of those two distinct sides of his personality an Envy that is both a bratty, spoiled teenager and a centuries old psychopathic mastermind. I can write the two sides of him great when either of them is a main focus, but I can't seem to combine them. Not when writing from his POV anyway.
And if you actually read all of that, you deserve a cookie.
I really do have some bizarre fascination with Hohenheim as a professor. I don't know why or where it came from, but I do.
Moving on:
If you don't care at all about Envy, or if Envy!het squicks you, go back now.
The more I try and get a firm grasp on Envy's first person voice, the more I feel like I have no clue what the fuck I'm doing when I write him. The last time I wrote anything from his POV was, I believe, Frater Certamen. It was either that or Every Romance Ever Written. Both of them played heavily on his bratty, egotistical, spoiled nature. I took that part of him that remains a pissy teenager and trained the spotlight on that. Because the situations - both involving him thrust into close quarters with teenage girls - brought that aspect out in him.
In 'Frater Certamen', Winry brings out the part of him that covets. He strikes up a connection with Winry because Winry is Ed's, and Envy wants what Ed has. In his mind, Ed has taken everything that should be his, so it's only right and fair that Envy take something of Ed's. In this case, Winry. Who, at fourteen in the fic, is rather childish and immature herself. The double influence of want and immaturity combine to really bring about a petty, sarcastic, almost needy side of Envy. And in a way, a very human side of him. He's very much trapped in the past, as we see when he visits the ruins of the Elric family home. He's eaten up with this sense of injustice and unfairness that's very, very immature and fitting a teenager. And further proof of his immaturity is illustrated in his actions towards Winry. He wants her, he intends to have her. He's seeking instant gratification, some sense of mollification for the wrongs he believes have been done to him. And Winry's constant talk of Ed, the unspoken comparisons she makes, only serves to escalate both the want - the want to take what's Ed's - and the sense of injustice. He is constantly reminded of who he sees as his rival. He lashes out, he can't control his emotions, he's erratic and easily upset and controlled by his anger.
In 'Every Romance Ever Written', he's still very much a teenager but in a much more confident sense. Ed hasn't been born yet, there's no focused hate towards any rival. There's only the general hate towards his father, nurtured and cultured over the years. In this one he's more brash, egotistical, boastful. Like a teenage boy who's trying so hard to be cool, he's sarcastic with Izumi and brushes her off and bickers with her in rather classic faux-flirtation. There's no sense of want here, no sense of covetousness, because Izumi doesn't belong to anyone except in a vague sense Dante. And while Envy shows some vague interest in the later part of the story of having some claim over a body his mother wants, it's almost an afterthought. Though he scoffs at Izumi and scorns her and moans that she's annoying and bothers him, he also seems as though he's trying to impress her. He moans just a bit too loudly, he's the one who first makes comments about how there's sexual tension between them, and they end up with a relatively stable and yet very, very teenage relationship.
So what have I concluded? I need to develop the bits of Envy that are centuries old and capable of brilliant acts of deception and manipulation. I need to return to the Envy I wrote when I was writing Envy/Sloth, and form out of those two distinct sides of his personality an Envy that is both a bratty, spoiled teenager and a centuries old psychopathic mastermind. I can write the two sides of him great when either of them is a main focus, but I can't seem to combine them. Not when writing from his POV anyway.
And if you actually read all of that, you deserve a cookie.