Learning to be Alone...
Well in the last few weeks I have been learning to deal with being on my own. I mean I tend to be a rather independent person but at the same time I hate to be alone to much. But I also needed to get through my head that I even need my moments by myself to sort out my thoughts. I think I have learned to balance this well.
The one thing that makes it so hard is that feeling of being watched or stalked. And I know few will understand what that means. It being a personal fear. The people close to me will know what I talk about. But it's been really hard lately to walk around alone at night. If even just to my car or to the house. I feel like "it" knows that I am alone. The one that I feel like has been my protector has seemed to keep my fear at bay... maybe even "it" at bay. I feel that I may have another meeting with it someday. I am unbelievably scared of that day.
Other than my fears I have been doing as well as I possibly can considering circumstances. Even with strange friendships and relations going on... I feel like I have things in control. I'm letting myself be more emotional and not holding back from things. Not hiding and being scared of letting go. But I have been not crowding these people and friends. I think I have really learned alot about what I want in life.. and maybe even who I want in life. I hope I can get some of these things someday soon. I would do alot to have them.
The one thing that makes it so hard is that feeling of being watched or stalked. And I know few will understand what that means. It being a personal fear. The people close to me will know what I talk about. But it's been really hard lately to walk around alone at night. If even just to my car or to the house. I feel like "it" knows that I am alone. The one that I feel like has been my protector has seemed to keep my fear at bay... maybe even "it" at bay. I feel that I may have another meeting with it someday. I am unbelievably scared of that day.
Other than my fears I have been doing as well as I possibly can considering circumstances. Even with strange friendships and relations going on... I feel like I have things in control. I'm letting myself be more emotional and not holding back from things. Not hiding and being scared of letting go. But I have been not crowding these people and friends. I think I have really learned alot about what I want in life.. and maybe even who I want in life. I hope I can get some of these things someday soon. I would do alot to have them.