(no subject)
it's tough letting go of a dream, especially one you've held onto your entire life. i've always thought i had a good sense of where everything was going and what was goin on. and even when things didn't look too good, the hope that everything will be alrite and that everything you ever wanted will come always kept me alive. perhaps i've been blindly holding onto that belief that if you want it bad enough and just be patient it'll happen. i mean how true IS that. only recently have I been seeing that perhaps....i've been wanting the wrong thing this whole time? perhaps there's something greater that's planned for me but i just have to step forward, let go of the old dream, and embrace the new. if that's the case, why am i having such a hard time dispelling the old? perhaps it's the familiarity and the many instances where it seemed like i was ever closer to getting that dream. but recently, i feel like God has been trying to redirect me and i keep resisting, that He had to intervene and really get me to see that THIS ISN'T IT. so why does a part of me keep believing it is? and that perhaps I just need some more growth and learning elsewhere before i'm allowed to live it? i've been telling myself to let go.....and everytime i think i did, i reach out to grab it again....only to get kicked back to the ground.
i know it's time to let go....but i find it harder everyday....because i've believed for YEARS that this was it.....and to completely change it? it's too much too fast. again, the familiarity keeps me holding on....but what happens when you discover things that turn it unfamiliar? then what.....so lost.
i know it's time to let go....but i find it harder everyday....because i've believed for YEARS that this was it.....and to completely change it? it's too much too fast. again, the familiarity keeps me holding on....but what happens when you discover things that turn it unfamiliar? then what.....so lost.