Relationship Memsay: Canonmates Style
Going back over sound episodes and the like, I've noticed something that I've been really sloppy about and want to work on keeping a better eye on. I occasionally do it, but then it's only for effect and not because I'm actively thinking. What I'm referring to is how Lelouch refers to Euphie around Suzaku and probably Cornelia as well. Since Cornelia and Suzaku are the only two who truly know Euphie as Euphemia, I'm going to make more effort to play this truer to voice. Basically, if Lelouch is being self-righteous/Zero-ish, he uses Euphemia; whereas when he's being reflective/tender/sad, he uses Euphie. This is extremely obvious in Stage 21.534, which Suzaku and I are still wavering on accepting into camp canon or not. This won't affect how Lelouch speaks about Euphie to other people since he knows she just wants to be Euphie here, and he won't deny her that.
Also, the actual point of this post is that I'm going to do the response to my canomates' relationship meme, but because I'm a hard ass, I'm doing it in complicated multi-part essay form. So Suzaku and Milly/Cornelia, this is for you. In its own special way. I'm too lazy to link parts so scroll down for character of your choice.
This is also an ENORMOUS essay on interpretations of canon and where relationships stood before and now. Obviously, Suzaku's all but killed me. And before any of you say anything, it's not that gay.
~~~~~
NUNNALLY
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive...
Why is Nunnally here when she's not at camp? Is it a not-so-subtle beg for an app? Actually no. It's because I cannot honestly write a relationship essay without mentioning the most important person in Lelouch's life. I find it amusing that I play two siscons. But the true irony is that while Sara is Setsuna's world, Nunnally is Lelouch's life. Setsuna can survive without Sara; he would hate it and might possibly go a bit nutters. But I believe he'd find a way for her. Lelouch *cannot* survive without Nunnally. He is much more selfish. She is his reason for existence. I find it very hard to believe that if Nunnally dies, Lelouch won't kill himself (watch geass prove me wrong.) But the fact is that every single moment of Lelouch's life where he's feared dying, it hasn't been for his own sake but for hers. He lives for her. And at the heart of his crazy revenge, there is her. This is exactly why things fall apart so badly when he loses her in 25. He can't function without her. He will do anything for her.
I think this is in part due to their mother's death. Prior to the massacre, Lelouch and Nunnally were probably still very close. She was his precious little sister and he looked after her because that's what a big brother does. But once he realizes how close he actually came to losing her... everything changes. Nunnally is all he has left that he can believe in; he can be a child through her. She represents both control in being something he can protect and a constant in his life. And he loves her terribly. And selfishly. As seen in the sound file where he is all but crushed that Nunnally will laugh for Suzaku when she won't laugh for him. I won't say that he wants to be Nunnally's one and only, not because he already is but because he wants Nunnally to be happy.
On this note, it says a world about his relationship with Suzaku that he is willing to, essentially, give Nunnally to Suzaku. He knows he's not going to survive his war. And his topmost priority has always been to make sure Nunnally will be all right. Some may argue this is using Suzaku, and in a way I guess I could see that, but it's also a testament to his immense faith/trust in Suzaku. Yet because Lelouch is a world of contradictions, this trust has its gaping holes. That said, considering what Nunnally means to him, this specific trust is arguably more meaningful than even the Zero lie.
As I've said before, if Nunnally were at camp and with Euphie and Suzaku, Lelouch would probably find it a lot harder to push for his revenge. He was willing to give it up before for the sake of Nunnally, or he was at least willing to take a more cooperative approach to it, I see no reason why the situation wouldn't be somewhat similar here. So. Yeah...
SUZAKU
As you go your way and I go mine...
Ah the boys.
First, have a ship manifesto.
Pairing preferences aside, sapphira_angel pwns any relationship analysis I could put here so I will focus entirely on interpretation.
At the point of canon which we are all working with, Lelouch is still getting used to the Suzaku = Lancelot Pilot deal. He's still as protective as always, evidenced by his butting into Suzaku's fight with the Chinese Federation. But he's still got those difficult to describe feelings about Suzaku being Euphie's knight. I won't quite call them jealousy, although that's possibly mixed in there as well, along with the resentment at Suzaku for not understanding him or rather Zero and frustration at Suzaku for fucking up his plans in general. As he sees it, Suzaku is supposed to be by Nunnally's side. So if there is jealousy, it's twofold: Suzaku has Euphie and Euphie has Suzaku. Lelouch is a messed-up boy.
It's important to note that as far as Suzaku's involvement with Britannia goes, Lelouch doesn't so much associate it with Suzaku turning his back on Japan (although he uses this argument to get to Suzaku while Zero) as Suzaku using his position to *kill himself.* There are many reasons why Lelouch hates this. The most obvious is that it stands in direct opposition to the somewhat selfish and rebellious Suzaku he knows. And Lelouch can't stand it when things deviate from the plan. He hates not being able to understand. Even when he does learn the truth and can finally understand why Suzaku does what he does, he doesn't stop wanting a way to reverse it. This leads into reason #2 why Lelouch hates Suzaku's new persona: he genuinely doesn't want to lose him. His friendship with Suzaku means something to Lelouch, as do all his friendships because they are the only things about his "fake" life that matter. And Suzaku represents a time of innocence and happiness that Lelouch never truly wants to get rid of, despite what he might say over and over again. Lelouch and denial are very very good pals. More than that, he does care about him. Aside from the LIVE geass itself -- which was extremely telling in that it was spur of the moment, pure instinct and pure internal reaction that could have been so many other things but ended up as the one thing Lelouch wanted to tell Suzaku more than anything, the thing that he screamed in the back of his mind ever since learning Suzaku's secret -- Lelouch shows how again and again he will go out of his way to avoid harming Suzaku. He will even take stupid risks, partially because he's an arrogant son of a bitch who believes he'll win and partially because at the time the risks don't matter.
Reason the Third which is more prevalent in camp play, Lelouch hates seeing Suzaku submissive. As he often is to Cornelia. Refer to above paragraph again for the why. Now I should point out this is why Lelouch doesn't like military Suzaku, not why he gets pissed that Suzaku won't join Zero. That one is pure "Britannia ruined everything! Why don't you hate them?" As Zero tells him, Britannia is not a country worth serving. So yeah Suzaku's dealings with Cornelia raise Lelouch's hackles something fierce. With Euphie, it's different since he doesn't believe she is using Suzaku, although there are still those already-mentioned lingering possessive issues on all fronts. He is, however, quite pleased when Euphie defends Suzaku from Cornelia at times.
Camp perpetuates existing issues for the boys. Lelouch is conflicted as to how he feels about Suzaku being slightly more open about his past. Yes, there is resentment there, but he's not going to hold it against Suzaku because he knows how much it affects him. And yes, he uses it when he's trying to prove a point. I won't say it's not difficult for him to do so because at camp, he doesn't constantly have Zero's mask, to hide his emotions when he does so. He can't get away with hurting Suzaku in the same way that Zero can because he has to face him. Lelouch is also more bitter about Suzaku's idealism because he has to face it more often and more directly than on the battlefield or the scant times they attend school. But with Euphie also at his ear and promising the same fantasies of peace, Lelouch falters more than he normally would. He often has to back off and regroup for another attempt at a later time.
Lelouch also has to admit that he does enjoy spending more time around Suzaku because Suzaku, for all his fake persona and tendency to make Lelouch very irritable, also makes Lelouch happy at times. He will indulge him occasionally for the sake of that, hence the kitties and not protesting entirely when Suzaku drags him into something stupid or even acting somewhat apologetic when he broaches a topic in a way other than what he intended. On rare instances, he will even relax. But reality and where they ultimately stand is always at the back of his mind.
All that said, Lelouch still sees Suzaku as his first and best friend. While he's at camp. And yeah he does love him in his own crazy Lelouch way.
EUPHIE
Our lives are made in these small hours...
First things first, Lelouch loves Euphie. It's why he still calls her by the nickname even when they haven't seen each other since he was 10. Lelouch's love for Euphie is different than his love for Nunnally in that it is not all encompassing and is more gentle. Whereas Lelouch loves Nunnally because she means everything to him, Euphie makes Lelouch calm and perhaps even honest. When she's not pissing him off by foiling his plans of planitude. But Lelouch will show a more self-derisive and vulnerable side around Euphie than he shows around most others. He is very much himself when they're together. And he at least attempts to be a gentleman. It doesn't always work out that way. But it's the thought that counts; he tries very hard for Euphie.
When Euphie and Lelouch first arrived at camp, Lelouch was still reeling from Euphie's announcement of the SAZ. He was terse with her and furious to see her treating him like everything was all right. It was another reminder of her startling naivety about things, and even worse in a place like camp. But they talked, and Lelouch learned that she had renounced her title. (Cue Good End from 22.) Only that Lelouch has not completely agreed to work with Euphie but merely to consider the idea. He agrees that she will definitely need his help to make it work. He reminds her constantly whenever the subject comes up, but, being Lelouch, he also uses their potential partnership to encourage Euphie to act a certain way. More often than not, he succeeds. As of the moment, Suzaku remains in the dark about Euphie and Lelouch's discussion on this matter.
Because of this somewhat resolution between the two, Lelouch is willing to let Euphie try and coax a less than miserable reaction out of him once in a while. He'll play along to please her. Lelouch does want to see Euphie happy. This is why he will not challenge her on Suzaku's knightship, although they probably should talk about why she chose him. I keep forgetting to do that. Whoops. This is also part of the reason he bides his time around Cornelia; he doesn't want Euphie involved. Because when it comes down to it, Lelouch does love Euphie. He will compromise for her, although those compromises are not quite the same as if he were doing it for Nunnally. But he's still extremely protective. In his own secret Lelouch way.
Yeah, Euphie tops Lelouch hard.
MILLY
Look behind the facade...
Milly is the first person to truly reach Lelouch after he loses Suzaku. She does so by showing a selflessness in wanting to help Nunnally, something Lelouch can't understand but is grateful. Maybe it's this gratitude that fosters their playful relationship, where Lelouch grants Milly some authority over him but takes up the role of the reluctant participant. Obviously Lelouch doesn't mind the council or he wouldn't waste time with it. In fact, in 21, we see him telling Milly how he appreciates the chance to relax. Lelouch is also slightly more teasing around Milly than others; this is different from the more taunting-teasing he shows toward Kallen. With Milly, he knows it's just his attempt to stay at the top. Where he so doesn't belong.
Not much is different at camp, although Lelouch spends a little more time dealing with Milly's serious side as they work through the Cornelia issues. He still feigns reluctance at helping her with her projects, while actually seeing their merit. Though slightly less for camp since he doesn't think people should be comfortable about being here in the first place. He also realizes that Milly wants to broach some more touchy topics with him, but as yet remains unwilling to allow it and usually changes the subject. He's still totally ignorant to her feelings for him because he's Lelouch.
Now if only she'd stop plotting with people like George.
CORNELIA
And the battles just begun...
Hoo boy. Um despite his closeness to Euphie, Lelouch was never that close to Cornelia. As of now, Cornelia is an obstacle in his path. Cornelia knows what happened to Marianne. Cornelia is also a significant opponent for Zero because of her warrior princess abilities. And Lelouch has seen Cornelia is willing to use any means necessary to find and destroy Zero. I suppose there is a type of rivalry between them in that they are both trying to top each other. Lelouch also loves playing up Cornelia's ultimate weakness: Euphie.
In camp, things are complicated for the two because Lelouch cannot simply geass Cornelia and get what he wants. He understands that, and it frustrates him like you wouldn't believe. Lelouch cannot also outright attack Cornelia because 1.) he doesn't want to get caught, 2.)Euphie would go :( and 3.)She'd kick his ass without his mech. Hell, she kicks his ass WITH his mech. So Lelouch is at quite a disadvantage. To compensate, he's settled for seeing what he can learn from her while feigning a measure of civility around her. He will not push her and he will not challenge her about Suzaku (um often), although he sees no problem in challenging her about other matters. Lelouch wants Cornelia to trust him, but he also knows that if he acts too nice, Cornelia will catch onto his act. So he toes the line. He knows she's smart, but he's too busy trying to figure out how to counter that to appreciate it on its own merits. It's a never-ending battle over who's right and who can have the last word between them.
However, Tiny!Lelouch's interactions with Cornelia might have their own say on things with Lelouch having to own up to the fact that yeah Cornelia did give a damn about him for some reason. He was able to shake it off the first time Cornelia showed surprise toward his being alive and concern about his and Nunnally's life. Lelouch, by no means, trusts Cornelia because a mistake could endanger Nunnally, and Lelouch is not taking that chance. And he will know Cornelia did her part to soothe him as a child, as well as went out of her way to help him perpetuate his own lie. A-Awkward times for the Geass siblings.
And. And that's all I'm doing for now. I's tired. ;o;
Also, the actual point of this post is that I'm going to do the response to my canomates' relationship meme, but because I'm a hard ass, I'm doing it in complicated multi-part essay form. So Suzaku and Milly/Cornelia, this is for you. In its own special way. I'm too lazy to link parts so scroll down for character of your choice.
This is also an ENORMOUS essay on interpretations of canon and where relationships stood before and now. Obviously, Suzaku's all but killed me. And before any of you say anything, it's not that gay.
~~~~~
NUNNALLY
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive...
Why is Nunnally here when she's not at camp? Is it a not-so-subtle beg for an app? Actually no. It's because I cannot honestly write a relationship essay without mentioning the most important person in Lelouch's life. I find it amusing that I play two siscons. But the true irony is that while Sara is Setsuna's world, Nunnally is Lelouch's life. Setsuna can survive without Sara; he would hate it and might possibly go a bit nutters. But I believe he'd find a way for her. Lelouch *cannot* survive without Nunnally. He is much more selfish. She is his reason for existence. I find it very hard to believe that if Nunnally dies, Lelouch won't kill himself (watch geass prove me wrong.) But the fact is that every single moment of Lelouch's life where he's feared dying, it hasn't been for his own sake but for hers. He lives for her. And at the heart of his crazy revenge, there is her. This is exactly why things fall apart so badly when he loses her in 25. He can't function without her. He will do anything for her.
I think this is in part due to their mother's death. Prior to the massacre, Lelouch and Nunnally were probably still very close. She was his precious little sister and he looked after her because that's what a big brother does. But once he realizes how close he actually came to losing her... everything changes. Nunnally is all he has left that he can believe in; he can be a child through her. She represents both control in being something he can protect and a constant in his life. And he loves her terribly. And selfishly. As seen in the sound file where he is all but crushed that Nunnally will laugh for Suzaku when she won't laugh for him. I won't say that he wants to be Nunnally's one and only, not because he already is but because he wants Nunnally to be happy.
On this note, it says a world about his relationship with Suzaku that he is willing to, essentially, give Nunnally to Suzaku. He knows he's not going to survive his war. And his topmost priority has always been to make sure Nunnally will be all right. Some may argue this is using Suzaku, and in a way I guess I could see that, but it's also a testament to his immense faith/trust in Suzaku. Yet because Lelouch is a world of contradictions, this trust has its gaping holes. That said, considering what Nunnally means to him, this specific trust is arguably more meaningful than even the Zero lie.
As I've said before, if Nunnally were at camp and with Euphie and Suzaku, Lelouch would probably find it a lot harder to push for his revenge. He was willing to give it up before for the sake of Nunnally, or he was at least willing to take a more cooperative approach to it, I see no reason why the situation wouldn't be somewhat similar here. So. Yeah...
SUZAKU
As you go your way and I go mine...
Ah the boys.
First, have a ship manifesto.
Pairing preferences aside, sapphira_angel pwns any relationship analysis I could put here so I will focus entirely on interpretation.
At the point of canon which we are all working with, Lelouch is still getting used to the Suzaku = Lancelot Pilot deal. He's still as protective as always, evidenced by his butting into Suzaku's fight with the Chinese Federation. But he's still got those difficult to describe feelings about Suzaku being Euphie's knight. I won't quite call them jealousy, although that's possibly mixed in there as well, along with the resentment at Suzaku for not understanding him or rather Zero and frustration at Suzaku for fucking up his plans in general. As he sees it, Suzaku is supposed to be by Nunnally's side. So if there is jealousy, it's twofold: Suzaku has Euphie and Euphie has Suzaku. Lelouch is a messed-up boy.
It's important to note that as far as Suzaku's involvement with Britannia goes, Lelouch doesn't so much associate it with Suzaku turning his back on Japan (although he uses this argument to get to Suzaku while Zero) as Suzaku using his position to *kill himself.* There are many reasons why Lelouch hates this. The most obvious is that it stands in direct opposition to the somewhat selfish and rebellious Suzaku he knows. And Lelouch can't stand it when things deviate from the plan. He hates not being able to understand. Even when he does learn the truth and can finally understand why Suzaku does what he does, he doesn't stop wanting a way to reverse it. This leads into reason #2 why Lelouch hates Suzaku's new persona: he genuinely doesn't want to lose him. His friendship with Suzaku means something to Lelouch, as do all his friendships because they are the only things about his "fake" life that matter. And Suzaku represents a time of innocence and happiness that Lelouch never truly wants to get rid of, despite what he might say over and over again. Lelouch and denial are very very good pals. More than that, he does care about him. Aside from the LIVE geass itself -- which was extremely telling in that it was spur of the moment, pure instinct and pure internal reaction that could have been so many other things but ended up as the one thing Lelouch wanted to tell Suzaku more than anything, the thing that he screamed in the back of his mind ever since learning Suzaku's secret -- Lelouch shows how again and again he will go out of his way to avoid harming Suzaku. He will even take stupid risks, partially because he's an arrogant son of a bitch who believes he'll win and partially because at the time the risks don't matter.
Reason the Third which is more prevalent in camp play, Lelouch hates seeing Suzaku submissive. As he often is to Cornelia. Refer to above paragraph again for the why. Now I should point out this is why Lelouch doesn't like military Suzaku, not why he gets pissed that Suzaku won't join Zero. That one is pure "Britannia ruined everything! Why don't you hate them?" As Zero tells him, Britannia is not a country worth serving. So yeah Suzaku's dealings with Cornelia raise Lelouch's hackles something fierce. With Euphie, it's different since he doesn't believe she is using Suzaku, although there are still those already-mentioned lingering possessive issues on all fronts. He is, however, quite pleased when Euphie defends Suzaku from Cornelia at times.
Camp perpetuates existing issues for the boys. Lelouch is conflicted as to how he feels about Suzaku being slightly more open about his past. Yes, there is resentment there, but he's not going to hold it against Suzaku because he knows how much it affects him. And yes, he uses it when he's trying to prove a point. I won't say it's not difficult for him to do so because at camp, he doesn't constantly have Zero's mask, to hide his emotions when he does so. He can't get away with hurting Suzaku in the same way that Zero can because he has to face him. Lelouch is also more bitter about Suzaku's idealism because he has to face it more often and more directly than on the battlefield or the scant times they attend school. But with Euphie also at his ear and promising the same fantasies of peace, Lelouch falters more than he normally would. He often has to back off and regroup for another attempt at a later time.
Lelouch also has to admit that he does enjoy spending more time around Suzaku because Suzaku, for all his fake persona and tendency to make Lelouch very irritable, also makes Lelouch happy at times. He will indulge him occasionally for the sake of that, hence the kitties and not protesting entirely when Suzaku drags him into something stupid or even acting somewhat apologetic when he broaches a topic in a way other than what he intended. On rare instances, he will even relax. But reality and where they ultimately stand is always at the back of his mind.
All that said, Lelouch still sees Suzaku as his first and best friend. While he's at camp. And yeah he does love him in his own crazy Lelouch way.
EUPHIE
Our lives are made in these small hours...
First things first, Lelouch loves Euphie. It's why he still calls her by the nickname even when they haven't seen each other since he was 10. Lelouch's love for Euphie is different than his love for Nunnally in that it is not all encompassing and is more gentle. Whereas Lelouch loves Nunnally because she means everything to him, Euphie makes Lelouch calm and perhaps even honest. When she's not pissing him off by foiling his plans of planitude. But Lelouch will show a more self-derisive and vulnerable side around Euphie than he shows around most others. He is very much himself when they're together. And he at least attempts to be a gentleman. It doesn't always work out that way. But it's the thought that counts; he tries very hard for Euphie.
When Euphie and Lelouch first arrived at camp, Lelouch was still reeling from Euphie's announcement of the SAZ. He was terse with her and furious to see her treating him like everything was all right. It was another reminder of her startling naivety about things, and even worse in a place like camp. But they talked, and Lelouch learned that she had renounced her title. (Cue Good End from 22.) Only that Lelouch has not completely agreed to work with Euphie but merely to consider the idea. He agrees that she will definitely need his help to make it work. He reminds her constantly whenever the subject comes up, but, being Lelouch, he also uses their potential partnership to encourage Euphie to act a certain way. More often than not, he succeeds. As of the moment, Suzaku remains in the dark about Euphie and Lelouch's discussion on this matter.
Because of this somewhat resolution between the two, Lelouch is willing to let Euphie try and coax a less than miserable reaction out of him once in a while. He'll play along to please her. Lelouch does want to see Euphie happy. This is why he will not challenge her on Suzaku's knightship, although they probably should talk about why she chose him. I keep forgetting to do that. Whoops. This is also part of the reason he bides his time around Cornelia; he doesn't want Euphie involved. Because when it comes down to it, Lelouch does love Euphie. He will compromise for her, although those compromises are not quite the same as if he were doing it for Nunnally. But he's still extremely protective. In his own secret Lelouch way.
Yeah, Euphie tops Lelouch hard.
MILLY
Look behind the facade...
Milly is the first person to truly reach Lelouch after he loses Suzaku. She does so by showing a selflessness in wanting to help Nunnally, something Lelouch can't understand but is grateful. Maybe it's this gratitude that fosters their playful relationship, where Lelouch grants Milly some authority over him but takes up the role of the reluctant participant. Obviously Lelouch doesn't mind the council or he wouldn't waste time with it. In fact, in 21, we see him telling Milly how he appreciates the chance to relax. Lelouch is also slightly more teasing around Milly than others; this is different from the more taunting-teasing he shows toward Kallen. With Milly, he knows it's just his attempt to stay at the top. Where he so doesn't belong.
Not much is different at camp, although Lelouch spends a little more time dealing with Milly's serious side as they work through the Cornelia issues. He still feigns reluctance at helping her with her projects, while actually seeing their merit. Though slightly less for camp since he doesn't think people should be comfortable about being here in the first place. He also realizes that Milly wants to broach some more touchy topics with him, but as yet remains unwilling to allow it and usually changes the subject. He's still totally ignorant to her feelings for him because he's Lelouch.
Now if only she'd stop plotting with people like George.
CORNELIA
And the battles just begun...
Hoo boy. Um despite his closeness to Euphie, Lelouch was never that close to Cornelia. As of now, Cornelia is an obstacle in his path. Cornelia knows what happened to Marianne. Cornelia is also a significant opponent for Zero because of her warrior princess abilities. And Lelouch has seen Cornelia is willing to use any means necessary to find and destroy Zero. I suppose there is a type of rivalry between them in that they are both trying to top each other. Lelouch also loves playing up Cornelia's ultimate weakness: Euphie.
In camp, things are complicated for the two because Lelouch cannot simply geass Cornelia and get what he wants. He understands that, and it frustrates him like you wouldn't believe. Lelouch cannot also outright attack Cornelia because 1.) he doesn't want to get caught, 2.)Euphie would go :( and 3.)She'd kick his ass without his mech. Hell, she kicks his ass WITH his mech. So Lelouch is at quite a disadvantage. To compensate, he's settled for seeing what he can learn from her while feigning a measure of civility around her. He will not push her and he will not challenge her about Suzaku (um often), although he sees no problem in challenging her about other matters. Lelouch wants Cornelia to trust him, but he also knows that if he acts too nice, Cornelia will catch onto his act. So he toes the line. He knows she's smart, but he's too busy trying to figure out how to counter that to appreciate it on its own merits. It's a never-ending battle over who's right and who can have the last word between them.
However, Tiny!Lelouch's interactions with Cornelia might have their own say on things with Lelouch having to own up to the fact that yeah Cornelia did give a damn about him for some reason. He was able to shake it off the first time Cornelia showed surprise toward his being alive and concern about his and Nunnally's life. Lelouch, by no means, trusts Cornelia because a mistake could endanger Nunnally, and Lelouch is not taking that chance. And he will know Cornelia did her part to soothe him as a child, as well as went out of her way to help him perpetuate his own lie. A-Awkward times for the Geass siblings.
And. And that's all I'm doing for now. I's tired. ;o;