(no subject)

[thekater]

It's so weird how people come in and out of your life at the strangest times. Paul, the BMX boy I was dating over the summer who randomly left "for a month" (and still hasn't returned...six months later), randomly texted me several times this week. This is odd for several reasons: 1. It was obviously a weird foreign number, 2. He hasn't really tried to contact me since he left, and 3. I've never known him to have a cell phone (or a regular phone, for that matter). He says he's still in Vancouver and he wants me to visit him. If I could, I'd be there in a heartbeat. I really cared about him because he was the first guy who was actually really nice to me (and I didn't get turned off by it). It was weird how I met him too...I was on a blind date with another guy and it was not going well. I was on my way back to my car, when my roommate dragged me into a bar that I NEVER go into. That's when he approached me, and we started dating soon afterwards. That night, my roommate turned to me and said, "That's the man you're going to marry". Even though marriage is buried really far in the back of my brain, I've never forgotten that. I miss him a lot, but I'm not holding my breath, waiting for him to come back. I know realistically that I may never see him again. At least he remembers me and he remembered my phone number.

I'm almost done getting my life back in order and getting myself back to normal. My identity crisis that I've been having for about a month now has worked its course, and I think I might be ready in the next month or so to start thinking about guys again. I'm so proud of myself--I've barely even thought about sex this whole time, let alone had it. And I haven't let myself get depressed over everything, which is usually what happens every January. I've been perfectly content being alone.

My birthday is in four days. Wow.