Josta, the evil dæmon panther
Who remembers the drink 'Josta"? The first energy-drink style soda sold on the mass market.
It had all sorts of herbal stimulants in it and made your heart feel funny if you drank more than one in a row.
I actually had to do a massive detox, rehab, and series of methadone treatments to beat my battle with Josta in the earliest part of 1999. It seems that Pepsi was trying to cover up the evidence of addictive qualities and squash the rumors that more people like me were out there. They pulled it off the shelves within a few months. No doubt this was one of the many stresses that lead to the end of my marriage as well.
Every few years I find that I still get the 'Josta shakes' oft accompanied by a slight fever and flashbacks. Many times it is difficult to convince me in these feverish trances that Bill Clinton is no longer president and that we indeed survived the dreaded Y2K. I still have a few emergency bottles in cryogenic stasis lying within a chest freezer at my parents house, just to quell these episodes. There may be six left. I fear for the day when my post traumatic flashbacks return and I have no more juice to satisfy them.
It takes a good day to thaw one out to the point where it is drinkable enough to satisfy the black horse/demon-panther called Josta. I think I am going to have to ask someone to thaw one out for me today. I can feel the twinges of an episode crawling like neuron spiders along the back of my cerebral cortex and up into the regions of my 'reptilian brain'. The next few days will be pretty fucking rough on everyone here at the homestead.
Until i can get my patch fixed, you might see some strange postings... if anyone will let down their guard enough to allow me to get out of my restraints and sneak onto the internet. Those inertnet folks I have known for a long while might recall that this is not altogether unlike that time in late 2005 that we refer to in whispers as the "Graveyard Meltdown".
God damn you Josta for turning me into this beast. Damn you to hell.
I best go have someone strap me in now, for my own good.
It had all sorts of herbal stimulants in it and made your heart feel funny if you drank more than one in a row.
I actually had to do a massive detox, rehab, and series of methadone treatments to beat my battle with Josta in the earliest part of 1999. It seems that Pepsi was trying to cover up the evidence of addictive qualities and squash the rumors that more people like me were out there. They pulled it off the shelves within a few months. No doubt this was one of the many stresses that lead to the end of my marriage as well.
Every few years I find that I still get the 'Josta shakes' oft accompanied by a slight fever and flashbacks. Many times it is difficult to convince me in these feverish trances that Bill Clinton is no longer president and that we indeed survived the dreaded Y2K. I still have a few emergency bottles in cryogenic stasis lying within a chest freezer at my parents house, just to quell these episodes. There may be six left. I fear for the day when my post traumatic flashbacks return and I have no more juice to satisfy them.
It takes a good day to thaw one out to the point where it is drinkable enough to satisfy the black horse/demon-panther called Josta. I think I am going to have to ask someone to thaw one out for me today. I can feel the twinges of an episode crawling like neuron spiders along the back of my cerebral cortex and up into the regions of my 'reptilian brain'. The next few days will be pretty fucking rough on everyone here at the homestead.
Until i can get my patch fixed, you might see some strange postings... if anyone will let down their guard enough to allow me to get out of my restraints and sneak onto the internet. Those inertnet folks I have known for a long while might recall that this is not altogether unlike that time in late 2005 that we refer to in whispers as the "Graveyard Meltdown".
God damn you Josta for turning me into this beast. Damn you to hell.
I best go have someone strap me in now, for my own good.