A Life Lived In Fear

[thejuno]

I remember more of last night than I probably should. The drinks were too strong and I know I couldn't walk to save my life. I remember when I was single and towards the end of my relationship with Keith I would get so depressed when I drank but I couldn't stop. It was like looking in a mirror last night as Joey came back to table with shot after shot of crown. I lost count ultimately. He was too drunk to know better and too broken to know the difference. He's grabbing onto Lorie as a sort of beacon of hope for love again and it'll never work. A friend of Lorie's was on her and Joey was off, out the door. I tried to explain to her it probably had nothing to do with her but if he did have feelings for her it probably reminded him of the pain he felt with his ex-wife and her escapades. We tried to stop him - with a 100 mile drive back to Manchester it was just as likely he'd pass out at the wheel then have a drunken accident.

I've texted, I've called and no word. If he's okay, so help me god... I'm gonna beat the shit out of him while crying.

The worst thing about caring about someone are the moments like these.