*be my, be my, be my little rock and roll queen*
today i bought a bunch of music from itunes. i'm excited. some things just get ya excited. music is one of mine. i think its the dancing aspect of it. total release.
i also downloaded some music for my grandma's burial. that's weird.......oh crap....man, i don't think i'll ever be over it.
*strangers, waiting, walking down the boulevard*
it's hard to be solely happy for my sister. i'm proud of her and happy for her. but it just sucks because she's my sister and so i think i'll always feel like less than her. there's just that natural part of siblings. i mean it's amazing what she's doing. i don't know.
*will you marry me bill? i love you so, i always will. and in your voice i hear a choir of carousels.*
i think the strange part of life and my life specifically obviously is that i form these close attachments with people only to be forced to live without their support. i've just been examining things recently. the past best friends i've had. its funny. its funny how people are so different. i have such diverse friends. only two of my best friends are friends with each other and the other ones don't even know each other. and none of them will be around next year. it's just another starting over all over again. i think its a tendency of life to build these foundations wherever you are. and then, at the same time, things almost immediately change once you've got it. i mean the friendships are still gonna be there. they aren't the kind to disappear anymore. i mean, seriously. but its natural to separate and change. just kind of stinks though.
*i never read your letters cause i knew what you'd say*
i realize how much more i am me than i ever was before. how much i've let myself go from those facades and those pretensions. i'm just glad i've let go of a lot of that stuff. i'm happy. i'm still way emotional. but i'm happy.
*three months and i'm still standing here*
love <3
i also downloaded some music for my grandma's burial. that's weird.......oh crap....man, i don't think i'll ever be over it.
*strangers, waiting, walking down the boulevard*
it's hard to be solely happy for my sister. i'm proud of her and happy for her. but it just sucks because she's my sister and so i think i'll always feel like less than her. there's just that natural part of siblings. i mean it's amazing what she's doing. i don't know.
*will you marry me bill? i love you so, i always will. and in your voice i hear a choir of carousels.*
i think the strange part of life and my life specifically obviously is that i form these close attachments with people only to be forced to live without their support. i've just been examining things recently. the past best friends i've had. its funny. its funny how people are so different. i have such diverse friends. only two of my best friends are friends with each other and the other ones don't even know each other. and none of them will be around next year. it's just another starting over all over again. i think its a tendency of life to build these foundations wherever you are. and then, at the same time, things almost immediately change once you've got it. i mean the friendships are still gonna be there. they aren't the kind to disappear anymore. i mean, seriously. but its natural to separate and change. just kind of stinks though.
*i never read your letters cause i knew what you'd say*
i realize how much more i am me than i ever was before. how much i've let myself go from those facades and those pretensions. i'm just glad i've let go of a lot of that stuff. i'm happy. i'm still way emotional. but i'm happy.
*three months and i'm still standing here*
love <3