"What?! Friends listen to 'Endless Love' in the dark?"
We're both in the middle of this storm of people who are both perplexed and mystified by what we're doing. Which... I can't even catagorize because of the strangeness of the situation. On one side, we have all my friends asking why we just don't date (not move back in together, but just be together and actually date) and do it the right way. And most of everyone on his side of friends are already scouring to find him another girl who is 'worth his time'.
And here we are.. right in the middle of it all... staring only at each other. We've spent the majority of our time together this week and it's been really amazing. How can you look at someone you've known for a year and a half - shared your life together, lived together - and not ever really see them. We have the potential to be so much more but right now it's just fine where we are. Comfortable, almost.
We have lunch together. We kiss and hug and flirt. It's scandalous and secretive (but in the same sense not because now every one of our friends and coworkers knows) and that makes it even better because it feels as if for the first time we don't care what anyone else thinks. He's angry because all of his 'friends' have begun hanging around me even more now that he broke up with me. Isn't that what he wanted? To see other people? And the funny thing is.. I only want him. I am perfectly happy with what we have. Jason's begun harrassing me like the world's ending tomorrow, Loren thinks Jamie's moving in with the speed of a bull and (hilariously) thinks I want someone else to take up my time.
*laughs* I don't. And I'm so scared of the day when he will come to me and say, "I've met someone else." God, please, I pray to you - don't let that day come soon.
I'm falling back in love with him. (Maybe even more than I was at the first of this crazy year and a half we've spent together. )
Better to be honest and a fool than lie and be smart about the whole thing, right? I can't lie to myself anymore. But, I'll never tell him.