"... don't wannt leave you / but I just can't please you.."
I went to Melissa's last night with the intention to stay the night and let him have his 'time to think'. But, in the end I drove to Wal-Mart and ended up dropping by the complex talking with Jason and April until 10:30. He arrived shortly after that and came by the apartment. Jason ended up explaining what he thought about time away (and, as I predicted, didn't think that was good for any relationship). All four of us talked for a while, J and Loren took a drive to get some aloe vera for April's lobster-red legs, and Loren and I went home to hash things out.
In the end it came down to both of our opinions: mine being either you want me or you don't and his being either you let me fuck around for a week or we break up. Being the stubborn virgo I am, I told him either we give it one more try or we break up. He doesn't want to break up. So, we were at a bit of a stalemate. Finally I agreed for the week of solitude. (I use 'agreed' loosely because I basically gave up on trying to convince him..) And, you know what's the worst part about it? I have to fucking TRY TO CONVINCE him that we should be together!
That was a bit of a rant... anyway, back on the subject - after I 'agreed' he then told me he didn't know what he wanted to do and that he'd give me an answer in the morning. Which followed was and INCREDIBLE hour of foreplay followed by some much-needed deep sleep. We woke this morning with his arms around me not wanting to let me go to work. I turned to him, asked him what he wanted and POOF - he still wanted his one week. I nodded, got up and got ready for work. When secured in the safely of my vehicle, I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. How could he give up so easily?! What was ONE FUCKING WEEK away from each other going to do?! Yeah, it'd give him more time to throw off his responsibilities and not have to think and/or deal with the situation. But how is anything going to get accomplished by not seeing each other?
If he's not able to deal with me for one week NOW.. what's to happen two years down the road if we ever decided on getting married? What?! One week he'll get sick of me and want to take another week VACATION from his responsibilities?! It doesn't work that way - I DON'T WORK THAT WAY. Either you want me and all the baggage and shit that goes with me or you don't. I won't be strung along like Noa's father did to me before.
*sigh* So, I dropped Noa off this morning and almost everyone I've discussed our little dilemma has told me to drop the little charade. So, to make it easier on my state of mind and his ego, I called him this morning and let him know I was going to start packing up everything.
Now, he wants to talk.
I ab-so-lute-ly HATE ultimatums. But, did I have any other choice? If YOU were living with someone and were suddenly put on the backburner because your significant other wasn't sure if he can deal with you.. would you do the same? I know I'm worth not having to wait for someone who isn't sure if they want me. Grab your balls and make a decision.
I did.
In the end it came down to both of our opinions: mine being either you want me or you don't and his being either you let me fuck around for a week or we break up. Being the stubborn virgo I am, I told him either we give it one more try or we break up. He doesn't want to break up. So, we were at a bit of a stalemate. Finally I agreed for the week of solitude. (I use 'agreed' loosely because I basically gave up on trying to convince him..) And, you know what's the worst part about it? I have to fucking TRY TO CONVINCE him that we should be together!
That was a bit of a rant... anyway, back on the subject - after I 'agreed' he then told me he didn't know what he wanted to do and that he'd give me an answer in the morning. Which followed was and INCREDIBLE hour of foreplay followed by some much-needed deep sleep. We woke this morning with his arms around me not wanting to let me go to work. I turned to him, asked him what he wanted and POOF - he still wanted his one week. I nodded, got up and got ready for work. When secured in the safely of my vehicle, I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. How could he give up so easily?! What was ONE FUCKING WEEK away from each other going to do?! Yeah, it'd give him more time to throw off his responsibilities and not have to think and/or deal with the situation. But how is anything going to get accomplished by not seeing each other?
If he's not able to deal with me for one week NOW.. what's to happen two years down the road if we ever decided on getting married? What?! One week he'll get sick of me and want to take another week VACATION from his responsibilities?! It doesn't work that way - I DON'T WORK THAT WAY. Either you want me and all the baggage and shit that goes with me or you don't. I won't be strung along like Noa's father did to me before.
*sigh* So, I dropped Noa off this morning and almost everyone I've discussed our little dilemma has told me to drop the little charade. So, to make it easier on my state of mind and his ego, I called him this morning and let him know I was going to start packing up everything.
Now, he wants to talk.
I ab-so-lute-ly HATE ultimatums. But, did I have any other choice? If YOU were living with someone and were suddenly put on the backburner because your significant other wasn't sure if he can deal with you.. would you do the same? I know I'm worth not having to wait for someone who isn't sure if they want me. Grab your balls and make a decision.
I did.