A New Beginning
...So, this is my new journal. I suppose an explanation is required.
I created a new journal because there are many things I need to let go of. Some aspects of my past still haunt my present and provide me with inhibitions that I haven't decided whether are good or bad. Said inhibitions most likely stem directly from my defense mechanisms thereby preventing the same shit from happening in my life that has had happened before. With that being said, I'm inclined to say that these acquired inhibitions are good. However, they also keep me from trusting anyone and wanting another relationship. But, if I had to choose whether to have them or not to have them, I would go with the former choice because I despise the inevitable drama that results from relationships that shouldn't have been formed.
So, to begin the next process of moving on, I'm letting go of that aspect of my past. Also, someone else needs to move on as well. Someone else needs to stop going into my journal to read my previous entries just to see if anyone has commented about them. I do not appreciate being blamed for everything everyone else says. I was NOT posting entries about you. My life does not revolve around you anymore, nor will it ever again. You gave me just enough to keep me quiet and just enough to keep me at bay. And I did what you wanted, didn't I? So, shut up now. You want me to keep being your friend, but yet you keep throwing all of this trivial shit in my face like it's my fault just because you think your pride might suffer.
If this someone else is to come across my new journal (which I'm sure will eventually happen), then so be it. But I'm through posting whole entries about them and I'm through dwelling on what went wrong. So, "A New Beginning," I feel, is quite the appropriate title for this first entry.
This journal is going to for myself. I'm not looking for anyone to post a comment, although it is always welcomed. I'm sure that not many will read my journal anyway. Many entries will probably seem obscure and convoluted and many will just seem very strange and driven by pure anger. But, nonetheless, they're for my purpose. As I am going to be attempting to write a novel during the summer, it may even include a lot of my thoughts and ideas. But, knowing me, it will mostly include rants and horribly ambiguous references to events in my life. However, who knows, I may surprise even myself.
I created a new journal because there are many things I need to let go of. Some aspects of my past still haunt my present and provide me with inhibitions that I haven't decided whether are good or bad. Said inhibitions most likely stem directly from my defense mechanisms thereby preventing the same shit from happening in my life that has had happened before. With that being said, I'm inclined to say that these acquired inhibitions are good. However, they also keep me from trusting anyone and wanting another relationship. But, if I had to choose whether to have them or not to have them, I would go with the former choice because I despise the inevitable drama that results from relationships that shouldn't have been formed.
So, to begin the next process of moving on, I'm letting go of that aspect of my past. Also, someone else needs to move on as well. Someone else needs to stop going into my journal to read my previous entries just to see if anyone has commented about them. I do not appreciate being blamed for everything everyone else says. I was NOT posting entries about you. My life does not revolve around you anymore, nor will it ever again. You gave me just enough to keep me quiet and just enough to keep me at bay. And I did what you wanted, didn't I? So, shut up now. You want me to keep being your friend, but yet you keep throwing all of this trivial shit in my face like it's my fault just because you think your pride might suffer.
If this someone else is to come across my new journal (which I'm sure will eventually happen), then so be it. But I'm through posting whole entries about them and I'm through dwelling on what went wrong. So, "A New Beginning," I feel, is quite the appropriate title for this first entry.
This journal is going to for myself. I'm not looking for anyone to post a comment, although it is always welcomed. I'm sure that not many will read my journal anyway. Many entries will probably seem obscure and convoluted and many will just seem very strange and driven by pure anger. But, nonetheless, they're for my purpose. As I am going to be attempting to write a novel during the summer, it may even include a lot of my thoughts and ideas. But, knowing me, it will mostly include rants and horribly ambiguous references to events in my life. However, who knows, I may surprise even myself.