hot furniture, hot cars, hot ass and hot wings!
So I'm taking a nap and my mother calls and wakes me up. "Hey, are you busy? Would you like to come up to my work and look through a catologue for your bed stuff?" Yeah, ok mom. sure. So I jump in the shower, get dressed and head on up there because there is some sales rep there with some catalogue they don't normally have that she swears is stuff I'd be into. I thought she was asking me to come look at bed spreads because for my birthday I was supposed to get new bedding but we never found anything I was too excited about. But when I get up there and find her with her partner Richard (who likes to alternate between calling himself my Uncle Ricky and my Gay Dad) and the sales rep. They immediately show me the bed they were looking at getting me. Not the bedding. THE BED WITH BEDDING! oh my fucking god the shit is hot. You can check the shit out by going here:
http://www.huppe.net/a_accueil.html and then clicking on 'metal beds' then 'bed 9900'.
Yes. Marvel at my beautiful new bed. Now realize that my bed will actually be hotter because it's going to be red and instead of those silver side tables mine shall be this hot smoke tinted silver.
BUT DOES IT STOP THERE? NO! IT DOES NOT!
Then she says something about me not having alot of black in my room and I remind her of my 15 year old entertainment center. She says "Oh! They have this beautiful one!" and flips over to it. I'm like "Yeah, that's amazing! I'd love something like that." So she orders that for me too.
YES! I AM ALSO GETTING A SUPER HOT ENTERTAINMENT CENTER THAT MATCHES MY SUPER HOT BED!
She then tells me that she also ordered two lamps for me and they'll be here within the next week or two.
THAT'S A NEW BED, NEW BEDDING, A NEW ENTERTAINMENT CENTER AND TWO LAMPS JUST FOR WAKING UP FROM MY NAP!
but then! then we order the pillows! I get six new pillows in various hot colors!
SO NOW THAT'S A NEW BED, NEW BEDDING, A NEW ENTERTAINMENT CENTER, TWO LAMPS AND SIX PILLOWS ALL JUST FOR WALKING UP FROM MY NAP!
and then she drops the big one. she says "I shouldn't be doing this. I'm spending way too much money on you." and I thought she was talking about all of the shit she just bought me. So I say "Yeah, this is all alot of stuff." and she says "Oh no! You have no idea!" and because she gets excited about things like this, she can never keep a surprise secret so she tells me she has somebody looking for a new car for me. She said she's either getting me a BMW or an Infiniti G-35.
YES YOU BASTARDS! THAT'S A NEW BED, NEW BEDDING, A NEW ENTERTAINMENT CENTER, TWO LAMPS, SIX PILLOWS AND A GOD DAMNED CAR!
but does it stop there? NO! well, not exactly anyway! Then my Uncle Ricky/Gay Dad and the sales rep start telling me they want to hook me up with the sales rep's daughter who is a Hooter's girl who is about to be on the cover of the new Hooter's Calender.
OH YES! ALL IN A COUPLE HOURS I COULD HAVE AMASSED A NEW BED, NEW BEDDING, A NEW ENTERTAINMENT CENTER, TWO LAMPS, SIX PILLOWS, THE PROMISE OF A NEW CAR SOON, A HOOTERS GIRL AND A SERIOUS FUCKIN' ALL YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS HOOK UP! except I have a girlfriend and I'm vegetarian so I didn't really need the Hooter's girl or the hot wings hook up, but god damned if it wasn't my lucky day anyway.... then I went to my girlfriends place and I told her about the Hooter's girl and she gave me a fucked up look but we had the sex anyway....
it's like I was born ridiculously good looking, razor sharp, hilarious, well-dressed, well-born and well hung and it still just doesn't stop getting better.... If god didn't give me Crohns disease to balance this out you'd all be renouncing him right now.
http://www.huppe.net/a_accueil.html and then clicking on 'metal beds' then 'bed 9900'.
Yes. Marvel at my beautiful new bed. Now realize that my bed will actually be hotter because it's going to be red and instead of those silver side tables mine shall be this hot smoke tinted silver.
BUT DOES IT STOP THERE? NO! IT DOES NOT!
Then she says something about me not having alot of black in my room and I remind her of my 15 year old entertainment center. She says "Oh! They have this beautiful one!" and flips over to it. I'm like "Yeah, that's amazing! I'd love something like that." So she orders that for me too.
YES! I AM ALSO GETTING A SUPER HOT ENTERTAINMENT CENTER THAT MATCHES MY SUPER HOT BED!
She then tells me that she also ordered two lamps for me and they'll be here within the next week or two.
THAT'S A NEW BED, NEW BEDDING, A NEW ENTERTAINMENT CENTER AND TWO LAMPS JUST FOR WAKING UP FROM MY NAP!
but then! then we order the pillows! I get six new pillows in various hot colors!
SO NOW THAT'S A NEW BED, NEW BEDDING, A NEW ENTERTAINMENT CENTER, TWO LAMPS AND SIX PILLOWS ALL JUST FOR WALKING UP FROM MY NAP!
and then she drops the big one. she says "I shouldn't be doing this. I'm spending way too much money on you." and I thought she was talking about all of the shit she just bought me. So I say "Yeah, this is all alot of stuff." and she says "Oh no! You have no idea!" and because she gets excited about things like this, she can never keep a surprise secret so she tells me she has somebody looking for a new car for me. She said she's either getting me a BMW or an Infiniti G-35.
YES YOU BASTARDS! THAT'S A NEW BED, NEW BEDDING, A NEW ENTERTAINMENT CENTER, TWO LAMPS, SIX PILLOWS AND A GOD DAMNED CAR!
but does it stop there? NO! well, not exactly anyway! Then my Uncle Ricky/Gay Dad and the sales rep start telling me they want to hook me up with the sales rep's daughter who is a Hooter's girl who is about to be on the cover of the new Hooter's Calender.
OH YES! ALL IN A COUPLE HOURS I COULD HAVE AMASSED A NEW BED, NEW BEDDING, A NEW ENTERTAINMENT CENTER, TWO LAMPS, SIX PILLOWS, THE PROMISE OF A NEW CAR SOON, A HOOTERS GIRL AND A SERIOUS FUCKIN' ALL YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS HOOK UP! except I have a girlfriend and I'm vegetarian so I didn't really need the Hooter's girl or the hot wings hook up, but god damned if it wasn't my lucky day anyway.... then I went to my girlfriends place and I told her about the Hooter's girl and she gave me a fucked up look but we had the sex anyway....
it's like I was born ridiculously good looking, razor sharp, hilarious, well-dressed, well-born and well hung and it still just doesn't stop getting better.... If god didn't give me Crohns disease to balance this out you'd all be renouncing him right now.