Brittana Review of "The Substitute"
"Let me just say, on the record, that I love the gays!"
***
I don’t really know what to make of this episode. It’s definitely not bad. The performances are actually some of the best from this season, and the episode in itself is funny - for an episode of Popular. Perhaps it was Murphy’s obsession with Paltrow that triggered memories, I don’t know, but I think this is the episode where it’s felt more like I was watching a lost episode of Popular rather than a new glee one. Which isn’t a bad thing. I loved Popular, I think it was fucking funny and actually in many ways more solid than glee (only not as entertaining). Perhaps I should just go with it and appreciate it for what it was. At least this week isn’t an in-depth look at and celebration of misogyny - so yay for that!
***
Episode opens with a choir room scene where we once more see Santana sitting at the far back. The lesbian angst queen has taken up her throne and upon it she shall sit and pass judgement on all lesser bitches for the rest of the season. Brittany in contrast is sitting at the front next to Artie. Stepping outside of the universe for a second I get a kick out of the fact that the directors had to physically separate the actresses in order to try to build the Bartie relationship. I like it when chemistry drowns the scripted word. Even if I like it even better when chemistry gets strengthened by the scripted word. Throwing it out there for the universe to take note of.
Right, Shue is ill and has fever hallucinations of the glee clubbers as children. He imagines mini-Santana gives mini-Puck a compliment about how good he looks. This is another of those moments I can’t wrap my head around. Because I am trying my very best to remember once, one single time where she’s actually commented on a guy’s looks in a positive way. There is that one time with Sam when she calls him cute, but so are koalas, sneezing pandas and quilts made by your grandmother. Other than that I can’t recall a single time where she has commented positively on the physical aspect of any guy. Just look at the previous episode when she was flirting with Puck, she never commented on his good looks, always made much more abstract comments about his personality. The only times I can remember her talking positively about someone’s physical appearance is Rachel (and her Britney look) and Quinn (calling her pretty in BIOTA and making note of her “sweet ass” in NYC). The question then becomes why is this Will’s feverish hallucination of her? Why would his subconscious automatically have her gush over a guy when in reality that is the last thing she would do. Perhaps I should just drop it, because clearly there is no logic behind it as he also conjures up mini-Quinn even when the real one isn’t even in the room. Still is interesting that when they want a throw away line for the character they go with something so OOC. Is it a comment on how successful she is at hiding and playing hetero? But that doesn't really make sense as Will has shown and continues to show signs he knows what's up. I don't know. It's weird.
Moving on. Santana has always been a pitbull around Rachel, always pushing, prodding and trying to get at her. However this episode, the one that follows in the wake of Brittany starting up a relationship with Artie, is the first time she loses it and tries to physically assault her. In my mind that is not a coincidence, but what it is, is a consequence. Santana’s world is crumbling in on her, bolts are unscrewed and her temper flare. And she whips up such a frenzy it takes three people to actually hold her back from doing some serious physical damage on the oblivious Rachel. Neither do I think it is actually a coincidence that Rachel is the one onto whom Santana focus her anger. Santana is not just attacking a person, but also tries to eradicate the socially stigmatised sexual lusts inside of herself. Rachel’s mere existence becomes a needle in her heart reminding her of the social pariah she considers herself to be.
Like I said, it took three people to hold her back and it isn’t any three people, but Sam (the good guy with a good heart), Brittany (the girl who loves her) and Mercedes (the frenemy with a begrudged affection). At this point in time and space those three people are the only people on her side. They are also the only ones to even come close to her, and in response she does her best to push Brittany away and will also eventually make sure she hurts Sam enough for him to withdraw from her life completely. Girl has issues, serious issues with trust and letting people in. From the very start I’ve been convinced she comes from a broken home, a belief I stand even more firmly behind today. She doesn’t have many friends, but the ones she makes she does her best to break. Lady is so very frightened of being loved and loving someone. Again it’s one of those instances where I think her sexuality plays a part, but it’s an ensemble cast of issues she has to deal with. Trust, love, self-esteem and self-acceptance - she has a lot to work on beyond being a closeted lesbian.
***
Lea, I want to…I want to…I love you. I wanna make you like I make my bed - with prison corners. I wanna drink you like I drink my coffee - lukewarm and with no condiments. No wait, I don’t even know. It’s just I sit there in my perfect little Brittana bubble, but Lea keeps piercing it with her ridiculously well-timed comedy and brilliant talent and I find myself having to pause to take five minutes to just admire her. I’m a Lea Michele fan - deal with it.
***
Holly is recruited for the glee club and as she slides into the choir room we actually find Brittana sitting together. This is far too easy to put a spin on as the last time we saw them was for Santana’s meltdown. Brittany isn’t stupid, she understands Santana and I have no problems believing that she was the one to talk Santana down from her anger high. And since that occurrence I think she made it a point to stay close to Santana, because there is after all only one thing that will soothe the temper of the brunette - that being Brittany herself. A look here, a touch there, an almost inaudible word and the anger and frustration can be tamed, not a long term solution, but momentarily controlled at least. So yes, to see them sit together is no surprise to me. Ever since Santana tried to attack Rachel I think she’s been more or less stalked by Brittany who will do anything to make sure Santana doesn't do something that in the end will not only hurt someone else, but also Santana herself. Part of loving someone is trying to protect them from harm, sometimes that means from themselves.
[Some girls like tacos more than hot dogs. Get over it.]
Santana’s reaction to Holly is also rather nice. Her eyes keep going up and down Miss Holiday’s body as if they were a rollercoaster at an amusement park. I’ll let you make your own interpretations as to why that is.
Then it’s time for “Forget You” and as the song starts we see Santana sing directly at Brittany. Considering the lyrics of this specific song I think this is very therapeutic for her. Through this season it is becoming more and more clear that singing is a way for Santana to vent and allow herself the emotions she usually deny. So I think a lot of steam was let out as she got to holler, “I see you driving around town with the girl I love - and I say forget you and forget her too”. She gets to hide behind the music and slowly lets lose and eventually find herself enjoying dancing and being silly with her friends. What Brittany began, music completed and Santana's core pressure is stabilised. For now.
Also this performance is full of Brittana in general. So yeah, I understand why the directors separate them, because if they are near, they will be together. Eyes. Hands. And no trespassers are allowed (as Quinn learns first hand).
***
Then before we proceed down the river of night’s dreaming, can we take a moment to appreciate the beast that is one Heather Elizabeth Morris. Other dudes usually team up two and two when they have to swing lumber around, not Heather, she swings it up on her shoulder and goes about her business like nbd. Because you know what?! She really is that much better and more kickasss than you, me and the majority of the Western Hemisphere (I was gonna make a Chuck Norris joke, but then I remembered he isn't tough enough to be allowed within the same sentence parameters as Miss Morris). This display of physical strength gives me so many thoughts, some of them are dirty, some are not, but all are pleasurable and most include Brittana.
***
Tots are banned. I repeat, the tots are banned. The Cheerios are called in to handle the situation. Santana takes lead and tells Mercedes the facts. Brittany steps in after her and adds emotions to the conversation (I fucking love the way they interact with people, it says so much about them and it feels so natural). Anyhow, Brittany comments on how the tots look like deep-fried deer poop. If you want to you can write it off as a weird Brittanyism. I on the other hand would like to think it is because she picks up on Mercedes’ distress and tries to comfort her friend by making her realise how disgusting the potato stools really are.
Then there’s Rachel/Holly’s performance of “All That Jazz” and I’ve got a sneaky suspicion this works as an eye-opener for Brittany. I do think her and Artie have entered official coupledom, (hence Santana’s more acute anger management issues) and that means she’s put a stop to what she had with Santana. Unlike most people, RIB and GA included, I don’t think Brittany is a fool and I do think she is a lot more aware of her actions and their consequences than we usually give her credit for. So yes, I think she is with Artie and I think she keeps her sexual distance from Santana - at this point. But then comes this song, this silly little song, performed by a person whom Brittany looks up to and respects (Holly, not Rachel) and the line, “You can even marry Harry and mess around with Ike” plant a seed of potential adultery. I don’t think Brittana immediately take up their scissoring, but I think the idea is planted in Brittany’s head as a possibility, one she will turn into reality when her need for Santana gets too big.
And again, Santana’s reactions to the performance are perfect. Watch her hands shoot straight up into the air as Rachel and Holly un-robe. Outstanding!
***
I will now take a couple of minutes to give RIB some tough love. The Breadstix scene with Mercedes and Klaine is actually a perfect mirror of the audience and Kurt. I do love how Mercedes always gets to represent the fandom and the audience, but yeah, back to my point. In this scene Mercedes loses interest in the conversation as it is not meant to include her and focus heavily on all things gay, or of gay interest. She is an open-minded young girl and she loves her friend for who he is, but there’s no point of reference there and when everything, absolutely everything that comes out of their mouths is centred around their sexuality - well it becomes boring. This is what’s happened with Kurt. Everything he does is gay. Every obstacle, every turn, every emotion, every feeling, every consequence and every action is based and stems from his gayness. I get it, I do, being a gay teenager can suck, it does often suck. But you know what, not everything has to originate in your sexuality, there is suck to explore beyond the confines of ones sexual orientation. Every storyline this character is involved in doesn’t have to boil down to his sexuality. They could have given him some depth, broadened his appeal and the audience’s ability to identify and relate. We dealt with his sexuality a lot in the first season, in the second we could have dealt with him being bullied - but perhaps he could have been bullied not because he was gay, but because there are assholes who prey on those they consider outsiders (regardless of sexual orientation). Same with the Prom Queen episode, they could have really gone to town and written a complex storyline where he himself had fears about returning to his school and then attending the Prom with a boy he‘s just started dating, but instead once more what we got was his sexuality. By now it’s reached the point that every time he opens his mouth a little pink purse falls out and you end up groaning as the same story, same concerns and same homophobia is repeated for what feels like the hundredth time. Homosexuality does play a big part in how we relate to the world, in who we are as people, but it doesn’t stop there. Not everything happening in my life is due to my sexuality, which is why Kurt has stopped being relatable, because he isn’t believable anymore. I hope this is something they’ll work on in the next season. That we’ll see Kurt struggle against something other than homophobia. Give him a bad grade, give him relationship problems, give him a hang-nail. Give him anything that doesn’t directly tie back to the fact that he “likes boys” and if you do that his story will suddenly start engaging people again. I think this is what the ratings for next season depend on, because Kurt is such an important character to the writers that they spend a third of the time with him. If they don’t manage to return our interest in him, viewers will zone out and leave as all we get to hear is, “gay-gay-gay-gay-gay-gay”. So for the future of glee I’m keeping my fingers crossed Kurt can encounter conflict unrelated to homosexuality/homophobia (but for my own sanity I kinda hope they don’t and the show gets cancelled so I can step away from this ridiculous addiction of mine).
[Yes, I did just say that. But look me in the virtual eye and tell me you don't feel the same way.]
But this was all very besides the point of Brittana and there is some Brittana left to be had in the episode. Not much, but a few more things. First we get another hint at Brittany’s potential dyslexia as she comments on how Will taught her the second part of the alphabet, because she herself had stopped after M and N which she found to be too similar. Could be her playing the game in front of Sue to make sure Will got reinstated, but could also be a smoke with fire. Then we also get a brief glimpse of Brittana taking American History together. Nothing much to mention other than the two of them sitting together conversing in the background. As to what the convo contains - that is up to you to imagine and for fanfic writers to make fanon.
And that my dears, was The Substitute.
***
I don’t really know what to make of this episode. It’s definitely not bad. The performances are actually some of the best from this season, and the episode in itself is funny - for an episode of Popular. Perhaps it was Murphy’s obsession with Paltrow that triggered memories, I don’t know, but I think this is the episode where it’s felt more like I was watching a lost episode of Popular rather than a new glee one. Which isn’t a bad thing. I loved Popular, I think it was fucking funny and actually in many ways more solid than glee (only not as entertaining). Perhaps I should just go with it and appreciate it for what it was. At least this week isn’t an in-depth look at and celebration of misogyny - so yay for that!
***
Episode opens with a choir room scene where we once more see Santana sitting at the far back. The lesbian angst queen has taken up her throne and upon it she shall sit and pass judgement on all lesser bitches for the rest of the season. Brittany in contrast is sitting at the front next to Artie. Stepping outside of the universe for a second I get a kick out of the fact that the directors had to physically separate the actresses in order to try to build the Bartie relationship. I like it when chemistry drowns the scripted word. Even if I like it even better when chemistry gets strengthened by the scripted word. Throwing it out there for the universe to take note of.
Right, Shue is ill and has fever hallucinations of the glee clubbers as children. He imagines mini-Santana gives mini-Puck a compliment about how good he looks. This is another of those moments I can’t wrap my head around. Because I am trying my very best to remember once, one single time where she’s actually commented on a guy’s looks in a positive way. There is that one time with Sam when she calls him cute, but so are koalas, sneezing pandas and quilts made by your grandmother. Other than that I can’t recall a single time where she has commented positively on the physical aspect of any guy. Just look at the previous episode when she was flirting with Puck, she never commented on his good looks, always made much more abstract comments about his personality. The only times I can remember her talking positively about someone’s physical appearance is Rachel (and her Britney look) and Quinn (calling her pretty in BIOTA and making note of her “sweet ass” in NYC). The question then becomes why is this Will’s feverish hallucination of her? Why would his subconscious automatically have her gush over a guy when in reality that is the last thing she would do. Perhaps I should just drop it, because clearly there is no logic behind it as he also conjures up mini-Quinn even when the real one isn’t even in the room. Still is interesting that when they want a throw away line for the character they go with something so OOC. Is it a comment on how successful she is at hiding and playing hetero? But that doesn't really make sense as Will has shown and continues to show signs he knows what's up. I don't know. It's weird.
Moving on. Santana has always been a pitbull around Rachel, always pushing, prodding and trying to get at her. However this episode, the one that follows in the wake of Brittany starting up a relationship with Artie, is the first time she loses it and tries to physically assault her. In my mind that is not a coincidence, but what it is, is a consequence. Santana’s world is crumbling in on her, bolts are unscrewed and her temper flare. And she whips up such a frenzy it takes three people to actually hold her back from doing some serious physical damage on the oblivious Rachel. Neither do I think it is actually a coincidence that Rachel is the one onto whom Santana focus her anger. Santana is not just attacking a person, but also tries to eradicate the socially stigmatised sexual lusts inside of herself. Rachel’s mere existence becomes a needle in her heart reminding her of the social pariah she considers herself to be.
Like I said, it took three people to hold her back and it isn’t any three people, but Sam (the good guy with a good heart), Brittany (the girl who loves her) and Mercedes (the frenemy with a begrudged affection). At this point in time and space those three people are the only people on her side. They are also the only ones to even come close to her, and in response she does her best to push Brittany away and will also eventually make sure she hurts Sam enough for him to withdraw from her life completely. Girl has issues, serious issues with trust and letting people in. From the very start I’ve been convinced she comes from a broken home, a belief I stand even more firmly behind today. She doesn’t have many friends, but the ones she makes she does her best to break. Lady is so very frightened of being loved and loving someone. Again it’s one of those instances where I think her sexuality plays a part, but it’s an ensemble cast of issues she has to deal with. Trust, love, self-esteem and self-acceptance - she has a lot to work on beyond being a closeted lesbian.
***
Lea, I want to…I want to…I love you. I wanna make you like I make my bed - with prison corners. I wanna drink you like I drink my coffee - lukewarm and with no condiments. No wait, I don’t even know. It’s just I sit there in my perfect little Brittana bubble, but Lea keeps piercing it with her ridiculously well-timed comedy and brilliant talent and I find myself having to pause to take five minutes to just admire her. I’m a Lea Michele fan - deal with it.
***
Holly is recruited for the glee club and as she slides into the choir room we actually find Brittana sitting together. This is far too easy to put a spin on as the last time we saw them was for Santana’s meltdown. Brittany isn’t stupid, she understands Santana and I have no problems believing that she was the one to talk Santana down from her anger high. And since that occurrence I think she made it a point to stay close to Santana, because there is after all only one thing that will soothe the temper of the brunette - that being Brittany herself. A look here, a touch there, an almost inaudible word and the anger and frustration can be tamed, not a long term solution, but momentarily controlled at least. So yes, to see them sit together is no surprise to me. Ever since Santana tried to attack Rachel I think she’s been more or less stalked by Brittany who will do anything to make sure Santana doesn't do something that in the end will not only hurt someone else, but also Santana herself. Part of loving someone is trying to protect them from harm, sometimes that means from themselves.
[Some girls like tacos more than hot dogs. Get over it.]
Santana’s reaction to Holly is also rather nice. Her eyes keep going up and down Miss Holiday’s body as if they were a rollercoaster at an amusement park. I’ll let you make your own interpretations as to why that is.
Then it’s time for “Forget You” and as the song starts we see Santana sing directly at Brittany. Considering the lyrics of this specific song I think this is very therapeutic for her. Through this season it is becoming more and more clear that singing is a way for Santana to vent and allow herself the emotions she usually deny. So I think a lot of steam was let out as she got to holler, “I see you driving around town with the girl I love - and I say forget you and forget her too”. She gets to hide behind the music and slowly lets lose and eventually find herself enjoying dancing and being silly with her friends. What Brittany began, music completed and Santana's core pressure is stabilised. For now.
Also this performance is full of Brittana in general. So yeah, I understand why the directors separate them, because if they are near, they will be together. Eyes. Hands. And no trespassers are allowed (as Quinn learns first hand).
***
Then before we proceed down the river of night’s dreaming, can we take a moment to appreciate the beast that is one Heather Elizabeth Morris. Other dudes usually team up two and two when they have to swing lumber around, not Heather, she swings it up on her shoulder and goes about her business like nbd. Because you know what?! She really is that much better and more kickasss than you, me and the majority of the Western Hemisphere (I was gonna make a Chuck Norris joke, but then I remembered he isn't tough enough to be allowed within the same sentence parameters as Miss Morris). This display of physical strength gives me so many thoughts, some of them are dirty, some are not, but all are pleasurable and most include Brittana.
***
Tots are banned. I repeat, the tots are banned. The Cheerios are called in to handle the situation. Santana takes lead and tells Mercedes the facts. Brittany steps in after her and adds emotions to the conversation (I fucking love the way they interact with people, it says so much about them and it feels so natural). Anyhow, Brittany comments on how the tots look like deep-fried deer poop. If you want to you can write it off as a weird Brittanyism. I on the other hand would like to think it is because she picks up on Mercedes’ distress and tries to comfort her friend by making her realise how disgusting the potato stools really are.
Then there’s Rachel/Holly’s performance of “All That Jazz” and I’ve got a sneaky suspicion this works as an eye-opener for Brittany. I do think her and Artie have entered official coupledom, (hence Santana’s more acute anger management issues) and that means she’s put a stop to what she had with Santana. Unlike most people, RIB and GA included, I don’t think Brittany is a fool and I do think she is a lot more aware of her actions and their consequences than we usually give her credit for. So yes, I think she is with Artie and I think she keeps her sexual distance from Santana - at this point. But then comes this song, this silly little song, performed by a person whom Brittany looks up to and respects (Holly, not Rachel) and the line, “You can even marry Harry and mess around with Ike” plant a seed of potential adultery. I don’t think Brittana immediately take up their scissoring, but I think the idea is planted in Brittany’s head as a possibility, one she will turn into reality when her need for Santana gets too big.
And again, Santana’s reactions to the performance are perfect. Watch her hands shoot straight up into the air as Rachel and Holly un-robe. Outstanding!
***
I will now take a couple of minutes to give RIB some tough love. The Breadstix scene with Mercedes and Klaine is actually a perfect mirror of the audience and Kurt. I do love how Mercedes always gets to represent the fandom and the audience, but yeah, back to my point. In this scene Mercedes loses interest in the conversation as it is not meant to include her and focus heavily on all things gay, or of gay interest. She is an open-minded young girl and she loves her friend for who he is, but there’s no point of reference there and when everything, absolutely everything that comes out of their mouths is centred around their sexuality - well it becomes boring. This is what’s happened with Kurt. Everything he does is gay. Every obstacle, every turn, every emotion, every feeling, every consequence and every action is based and stems from his gayness. I get it, I do, being a gay teenager can suck, it does often suck. But you know what, not everything has to originate in your sexuality, there is suck to explore beyond the confines of ones sexual orientation. Every storyline this character is involved in doesn’t have to boil down to his sexuality. They could have given him some depth, broadened his appeal and the audience’s ability to identify and relate. We dealt with his sexuality a lot in the first season, in the second we could have dealt with him being bullied - but perhaps he could have been bullied not because he was gay, but because there are assholes who prey on those they consider outsiders (regardless of sexual orientation). Same with the Prom Queen episode, they could have really gone to town and written a complex storyline where he himself had fears about returning to his school and then attending the Prom with a boy he‘s just started dating, but instead once more what we got was his sexuality. By now it’s reached the point that every time he opens his mouth a little pink purse falls out and you end up groaning as the same story, same concerns and same homophobia is repeated for what feels like the hundredth time. Homosexuality does play a big part in how we relate to the world, in who we are as people, but it doesn’t stop there. Not everything happening in my life is due to my sexuality, which is why Kurt has stopped being relatable, because he isn’t believable anymore. I hope this is something they’ll work on in the next season. That we’ll see Kurt struggle against something other than homophobia. Give him a bad grade, give him relationship problems, give him a hang-nail. Give him anything that doesn’t directly tie back to the fact that he “likes boys” and if you do that his story will suddenly start engaging people again. I think this is what the ratings for next season depend on, because Kurt is such an important character to the writers that they spend a third of the time with him. If they don’t manage to return our interest in him, viewers will zone out and leave as all we get to hear is, “gay-gay-gay-gay-gay-gay”. So for the future of glee I’m keeping my fingers crossed Kurt can encounter conflict unrelated to homosexuality/homophobia (but for my own sanity I kinda hope they don’t and the show gets cancelled so I can step away from this ridiculous addiction of mine).
[Yes, I did just say that. But look me in the virtual eye and tell me you don't feel the same way.]
But this was all very besides the point of Brittana and there is some Brittana left to be had in the episode. Not much, but a few more things. First we get another hint at Brittany’s potential dyslexia as she comments on how Will taught her the second part of the alphabet, because she herself had stopped after M and N which she found to be too similar. Could be her playing the game in front of Sue to make sure Will got reinstated, but could also be a smoke with fire. Then we also get a brief glimpse of Brittana taking American History together. Nothing much to mention other than the two of them sitting together conversing in the background. As to what the convo contains - that is up to you to imagine and for fanfic writers to make fanon.
And that my dears, was The Substitute.