End of year entry. You knew it was coming.
Last year ended with self-assurance. I was confident in my identity, the path I planned to take in life, and the steps I needed to take to get there.
Things went a little haywire this year and I wasn't able to maintain that all the time. Winter of this year ranks up there with the most difficult parts of my life I have had to face (why do I always relapse in winter?). Spring brought more difficulties, but I was tough and got through them, albeit slightly unsettled.
But I'm still here. I'm still breathing. I haven't completely lost control, and whenever I DID lose control, those things lead to better things.
Here are some things I did this year that made it very special
- Learned that it is completely futile putting a label on myself. Putting restrictions on myself never works either. I have relaxed a little about some things.
- Met some incredible people and got to live with them for a few months. The bat cave will live on in our hearts!
- Saw some pretty amazing bands. In chronological order - Tool, The Presets (twice), Peaches, The Butterfly Effect, Gomez, Nine Inch Nails, The Cure, Marilyn Manson, Muse, Daft Punk. OH, and the trips to Melbourne for NIN and Daft Punk will always remain in my mind.
- Held down a full time job while adjusting to new medication, and even won the sales tally last month.
- Went out a lot more, and I now have work buddies to drink with.
- Got rid of all my hair!!!!!
- Most importantly, I fell gut-wrenchingly, head over heels in love. You all know who I am talking about :)
Here are my wishes for next year:
- To be happy in love.
- To see my friends more often! I am sorry I have been terrible at catching up with you all (except on Saturday nights, which don't count as much) but next year I am going to try and fix that.
- To write, draw and read more.
- For all of YOU to be happy.
I have evolved a little bit this year. Just a little bit. Appearance-wise, here is a comparison.
You can't change yourself overnight. You can't force yourself to do it. You can't make the rules and expect to stick with them if it's restricting aspects of your lifestyle you're not ready to let go of yet. Feel the flow. Evolve. Look back in satisfaction when you can give a big "fuck you" to all the things that have been dragging you down.
2007, you have been a rollercoaster ride of a year.