And now, the news.
So, most of you are likely aware that Benazir Bhutto, the former Prime Minister of Pakistan, was assassinated a while ago.
You're also likely aware that, almost as soon as she arrived in Pakistan, someone tried to blow her up and instead succeeded in causing 130+ casualties to the welcoming throng.
When she was killed, another suicide bomber made a go, and the official story was that she died from hitting her head on the sunroof lever of her armoured Land Rover.
Or at least, that was the original story.
Now he's saying that she was shot. Maybe.
Bhutto's death was her own doing?
Read that.
OK, done? Good.
Now, President General Pervez Musharraf claims it was an al Quaeda attack that killed her, and that they're looking for al Quaeda cells and members everywhere. Except the Tribal Lands, of course, which are effectively lawless. Which is likely where whomever did this is hiding, if they weren't given a .22 behind the ear when they finished they job, that is. Or a half-dozen 7.62mm rounds fired by a 'tribal' AK 47.
When Musharraf's government came out with the initial "she bashed her head" story, it was right after the assassination and people didn't know what the hell was going on. Now there are reports that a gunman was seen firing at Bhutto and that there are witnesses who claim she was shot dead before the explosion went off.
Something is fishy about this whole thing. Now, I understand why al Quaeda would want Bhutto dead. After all, she was opposed to the Taliban in the last 10 or so years - before then, like most everyone else (including the USA), she supported them as a stabilising force in Afghanistan - she was also big on reforming the political scene in Pakistan, which is likely what got her into so much trouble in the first place. She went into voluntary exile amidst charges of corruption that are currently being proven false. This was a popular woman, a woman who led the country well when she was Prime Minister in '88 and '93 and instigated reforms not only politically and financially, but also socially.
So you can see why she would be less than popular with Pakistan's ruling Punjabi elites. Especially as they weren't exactly keen on the idea of having to pay taxes and allow for a greater amount of gender equality.
But she's dead. And Musharraf calls in Scotland Yard to find out why. He's confident that they'll "solve all the confusion" around the death of Bhutto, but I'm not too sure about that. There's a report that in one of the three videos (only three? I doubt it) taken of the assassination, Bhutto can be seen getting shot in the head as she looks at her supporters. Then the bomb goes. If the claims are true, then it's a good way of making sure that the actual assassination is hidden in plain sight. Thing is, though, there's yet to be an autopsy done on her. She was killed on the 27th of December, and no autopsy's been done yet.
Let that sink in, ladies and gents.
I'm waiting to hear that Bhutto was killed by a 7.62mm round fired from an AK or - in an interesting turn - a surplus Indian SLR1A. That would be... Well, that would make the situation a lot more interesting, wouldn't it?
And, in other news, Her Majesty enjoys playing the Wii. Who'da thunk?