Time passes
Times past since I wrote in this. A long time. Why did I stop? I honestly don't remember. Why am I starting again? I honestly don't know. Life has as always had its ups and downs, but I've been enjoying both of late.
Just wanted to write a few things in here, something that Jenny and I were talking about.
Honesty. I feel like society has made honesty into a false value, one that people don't even really care about anymore. I know often times I have no trouble lying to my parents, or anyone else who lies to me. But as for others, I find it hard, even impossible to lie about my feelings and thoughts. I mean...why lie? Even if someone asks you if they are fat and they are. Why lie about it? They KNOW the truth deep down, you lying about it, is just helping them lie to themselves. And thus, I think I'm slowly learning not to lie to myself and to others who deserve honesty. These are all good things, and I've finally reached a point, where I'm completely happy with who I am because of it. It took me a long time to overcome the events of the past, but I have now, and I feel great because of it.
There's only one last lie that I've kept on my chest for a while I guess. Time to just get it off, and done with. I've never had good sex. I've never even had real sex. When I say that I mean sex isn't just sticking your cock in something. Its actually having both people enjoy it. So I haven't had sex in that sense, because I know that the only time I've enjoyed being in bed with someone they didn't enjoy it. And I am definately not a sexual god, I haven't even had real damn sex. And the very few times I thought I had in the past, I really didn't. I'd like to sometime, I'd like to learn how to do it well, so when I find someone who I deserve and deserves me, I'm ready to give them the love of their life.
My first girlfriend didn't want to even have sex with me. I can remember one incident very clearly. She was on my phone with a friend of hers, talking about how she wanted to have sex with another mutual friend we both had. So I came down and asked her if she'd want to have sex with me sometime. And she gave me this "pfff maybe" response. And I know thats whats made me feel worthless physically for a long long time. Just that one statement. Funny that. But I don't feel that way anymore, so its past. But its good to just say all that. My slate is clean, I guess.:) Unless I think of something new tommorrow.
Jared
Just wanted to write a few things in here, something that Jenny and I were talking about.
Honesty. I feel like society has made honesty into a false value, one that people don't even really care about anymore. I know often times I have no trouble lying to my parents, or anyone else who lies to me. But as for others, I find it hard, even impossible to lie about my feelings and thoughts. I mean...why lie? Even if someone asks you if they are fat and they are. Why lie about it? They KNOW the truth deep down, you lying about it, is just helping them lie to themselves. And thus, I think I'm slowly learning not to lie to myself and to others who deserve honesty. These are all good things, and I've finally reached a point, where I'm completely happy with who I am because of it. It took me a long time to overcome the events of the past, but I have now, and I feel great because of it.
There's only one last lie that I've kept on my chest for a while I guess. Time to just get it off, and done with. I've never had good sex. I've never even had real sex. When I say that I mean sex isn't just sticking your cock in something. Its actually having both people enjoy it. So I haven't had sex in that sense, because I know that the only time I've enjoyed being in bed with someone they didn't enjoy it. And I am definately not a sexual god, I haven't even had real damn sex. And the very few times I thought I had in the past, I really didn't. I'd like to sometime, I'd like to learn how to do it well, so when I find someone who I deserve and deserves me, I'm ready to give them the love of their life.
My first girlfriend didn't want to even have sex with me. I can remember one incident very clearly. She was on my phone with a friend of hers, talking about how she wanted to have sex with another mutual friend we both had. So I came down and asked her if she'd want to have sex with me sometime. And she gave me this "pfff maybe" response. And I know thats whats made me feel worthless physically for a long long time. Just that one statement. Funny that. But I don't feel that way anymore, so its past. But its good to just say all that. My slate is clean, I guess.:) Unless I think of something new tommorrow.
Jared