(no subject)
i have brown hair right now. i love the smell of fresh laundry & the colour of grass. my eyes change from green to blue on any given day. insensitivity & narrow-mindedness frustrate me. i was born with an enormous need for affection & a terrible need to give it. i believe music fills the cracks between the understanding of our minds & hearts & our ability to communicate & convey that understanding. i have my mother's shoulders, my father's compassion. i never brush my hair. i miss too many people, too many places & things. i have regrets; i think that anyone who says they don't is lying. do not regret where you are & how you got there; but rather the people you hurt, the lies you told. are these not understandable regrets? the flaws of our lives cannot always be chalked up to fate or the actions of others; they are often the direct results of our mistakes & for these we must take responsibility. be yourself; everyone else is already taken. my legs are long. i love too hard. my wrists are too skinny. i like to sing & play harmonica & to fool around with a guitar. i've been known to smell like baby powder & wear flowers in my hair. i believe in fate, karma; love, soul, & redemption. do not begin to compare suffering because pain is relative & as long as we're all human, we will have our own pain. all life is an experiment. i like to laugh & i like to cry just as much. i want the chance to prove myself before someone demands me to & i want the chance to love someone uninhibitedly. i want to make someone soup & gifts; i want to kiss & touch & learn & soothe. the openess & freedom of beaches & fields fills me. i like to sleep. i like to listen & to watch the lives of others. silent observance is a wonderful teacher. i want to explore our world & take in everything it offers me. i write & read & dance & listen. i twirl hair around my finger absentmindedly & my knees shake when i'm nervous. i'm scared of death & abandonement & of being rejected because of who i am & i think these fears are normal. all endings are also beginnings. we just don't know it at the time. people tell me i cannot be a romantic & a cynic & an idealist & a realist all at the same time. but i am all of these things & i refuse to apologize. please do not apologize for who you are, because then you have lost dignity. life is all we've got & only we can mould it. does that power not inspire you, scare you & excite you? i am in love with life & everything that it presents me with. life is what we make it. always has been, always will be.