Death of a Season
So I'm sitting here on Dustin's laptop, and I'm entertaining myself for a bit while the Sacred Sorrow boys practice out in the garage. It's been a little while since I posted a blog, so I figured now would be good while I have a bit of time on my hands.
So here we go.
I can feel this summer slowly drawing to an end, and I can honestly say it's been one hell of a rollercoaster for me, both literally and figuratively speaking.
It started with planning meetings at Culbertson Mansion, with almost nightly hangouts with the Halloween family at both the mansion, and Kentucky Kingdom. Someone that I'd been acquaintances with for a while quickly became one of the most important people in my life, and I mean it when I say that I'm a better person now because of him. After always being the independent who never relied on anyone and never set expectations, every misconception and idea I'd had about love and relationships has been proven wrong and completely reshaped. After building such a fortress so high around my heart, Dustin has somehow managed to capture it, and I am so blessed because of it.
This summer has also brought a lot of changes and growth for me mentally and spiritually. I quit a job, started a new one (which I hated), quit again, and went back to where I started and was given a promotion. Pretty awesome. I've concluded that it is better to be making less money and be happy, than to be ballin' but hate my job.
This summer I've also rediscovered my relationship with God, and while I feel so guilty for neglecting it for so long, I'm slowly building on it and trying my best to make things right. I know I still have so much to learn and things to understand, but I feel I'm on the right path, and really, I guess that's what's important.
Along with this summer, many of my other relationships have changed as well. After battling the endless fight with my parents virtually every-other day, they are loosening their grip on me and finally realizing that their lastborn isn't a tiny child anymore. After all the shouting matches about how I could be so "irresponsible, selfish, and weak" over the last few months, my mom finally came out and said a few days ago that she really just misses me, and doesn't know what to do when I'm finally moved out on my own for real.
Over the last several months, I've grown closer with some friends, and apart from others. I guess it's how life works, but the growing apart, for whatever reason(s) it's happened, does make me sad. I've seen very little of my best friend Jocelen this summer, but a big part of that is because we both lead such busy lives with conflicting schedules. Some news from her recently has made me realize how precious and delicate life is, and how sorry I am for not making more time to hangout lately. (which, if you are reading this, Joc, I promise to correct this, asap). Other friendships have changed as well, for better or worse, depending on the case. I've learned how loyal and true my closest friends are, and how others just haven't learned to mature and cope with their own struggles and the successes of their peers simultaneously. I guess it just takes some people longer to see things in a different perspective other than their own. However, I have learned that it IS best to right the wrongs that have been done and be assertive rather than to spit nasty venom behind "friends'" backs and then smile to their face, calling it a "joke."
But now, as the summer draws to a close, all I can hope for is more fall nights with skeleton gloves, Culbertson Mansion, the smell of pumpkin spice, and my closest friends to share it with.
So here we go.
I can feel this summer slowly drawing to an end, and I can honestly say it's been one hell of a rollercoaster for me, both literally and figuratively speaking.
It started with planning meetings at Culbertson Mansion, with almost nightly hangouts with the Halloween family at both the mansion, and Kentucky Kingdom. Someone that I'd been acquaintances with for a while quickly became one of the most important people in my life, and I mean it when I say that I'm a better person now because of him. After always being the independent who never relied on anyone and never set expectations, every misconception and idea I'd had about love and relationships has been proven wrong and completely reshaped. After building such a fortress so high around my heart, Dustin has somehow managed to capture it, and I am so blessed because of it.
This summer has also brought a lot of changes and growth for me mentally and spiritually. I quit a job, started a new one (which I hated), quit again, and went back to where I started and was given a promotion. Pretty awesome. I've concluded that it is better to be making less money and be happy, than to be ballin' but hate my job.
This summer I've also rediscovered my relationship with God, and while I feel so guilty for neglecting it for so long, I'm slowly building on it and trying my best to make things right. I know I still have so much to learn and things to understand, but I feel I'm on the right path, and really, I guess that's what's important.
Along with this summer, many of my other relationships have changed as well. After battling the endless fight with my parents virtually every-other day, they are loosening their grip on me and finally realizing that their lastborn isn't a tiny child anymore. After all the shouting matches about how I could be so "irresponsible, selfish, and weak" over the last few months, my mom finally came out and said a few days ago that she really just misses me, and doesn't know what to do when I'm finally moved out on my own for real.
Over the last several months, I've grown closer with some friends, and apart from others. I guess it's how life works, but the growing apart, for whatever reason(s) it's happened, does make me sad. I've seen very little of my best friend Jocelen this summer, but a big part of that is because we both lead such busy lives with conflicting schedules. Some news from her recently has made me realize how precious and delicate life is, and how sorry I am for not making more time to hangout lately. (which, if you are reading this, Joc, I promise to correct this, asap). Other friendships have changed as well, for better or worse, depending on the case. I've learned how loyal and true my closest friends are, and how others just haven't learned to mature and cope with their own struggles and the successes of their peers simultaneously. I guess it just takes some people longer to see things in a different perspective other than their own. However, I have learned that it IS best to right the wrongs that have been done and be assertive rather than to spit nasty venom behind "friends'" backs and then smile to their face, calling it a "joke."
But now, as the summer draws to a close, all I can hope for is more fall nights with skeleton gloves, Culbertson Mansion, the smell of pumpkin spice, and my closest friends to share it with.