Fred wanted to believe she'd done everything possible to stay with her family. She wanted to believe she'd fought hard enough but she couldn't help but to think of her final moments. Wesley begged her to fight but she hadn't. Instead, she left herself die. Her family had suffered because of her and she looked at Wesley, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"I'm so sorry," Fred said, her voice quivering. "I tried but I didn't try hard enough. I don't know how you could ever forgive me for leaving Regan and you with that thing. I could feel the both of you and you were so lost and I'm so sorry for that. I don't see how you can even look at me."
She buried her head against the crook of his shoulder again and started to sob. All of this was too much and she didn't think she deserved to be there with her family. "I'm afraid something else will happen and I don't want to leave you or Regan again. I want to see our daughter grow up into a wonderful and intelligent young woman and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. And I want to have more babies but I don't even know if I can!"
Pulling back, Fred looked at her husband. "Please don't let anyone take me away again. Please," she begged.
"Oh, love, no...please don't blame yourself," Wesley whispered as he ran his hand over Fred's hair as she sobbed against his shoulder, hating to see her this upset when they finally had her back. He remembered how at the time a part of him had been upset at her for leaving them behind, but then he had realized that had been his grief talking. He could never blame Fred, not after what she went through and to protect their daughter. "There's nothing to forgive you for. We all went through a hard time, but we're together again now. That's what's important. That's what will always be the most important thing."
Cupping his hand to her face, he gently nudged it up so he could look into her eyes while wiping away her tears with his thumb. "I won't let anyone take you away from us again, Fred. I promise. I'm pretty sure Regan won't either, and we both know how stubborn she can be."
He leaned forward and kissed her gently to seal his promise to her. He had failed her and Regan before, and he swore that he wouldn't let it happen again. He loved his wife and daughter more than life - there was no way he was going to let either of them suffer or be taken away from him. Never again.
"And if we can't have any more children the old-fashioned way, then we'll adopt," he told her. "There are plenty of children out there in need of good homes. But let's wait and cross that bridge when we come to it, all right? We might be perfectly able to have more children."
He continued to hold her on his lap, his arm wrapped tightly around her as he caressed her face with the other. "Would you like to try to get some rest?" he asked her softly. "Or do you want to stay here for a while longer?" Either way she wanted it, he was prepared to hold her all night. He didn't want to let her go - not now, not ever.
Fred looked at her husband and slowly nodded her head. She knew she had to have faith in Wesley, and had to believe everything would work out. "I know," she sniffled. It felt strange to her to be in his arms again, and it almost felt weird to be back with him and Regan again. She'd been gone for over a year and had started to think she would never see them again.
"I-I don't know if I can sleep or not. I'm afraid if I do, I'll wake up and be dead again." Fred shook her head, knowing she was being silly. "I know I shouldn't be scared but I only feel safe with you and I don't want to be clingy with you. I just..." She ran her fingers over his neck and smiled a little. He still felt the same. He was still her Wesley.
"This may...I don't...Wesley..."
Fred took a deep breath, not knowing how to say what she wanted, what she needed. "I need you. I know you probably think it's too soon but I need to feel you to make sure I'm really here." She leaned forward and gave him a slow, deep kiss. She was sure Regan was smart enough to know her parents needed time alone so she wasn't worried about her disturbing them.
"Make love to me? Please?" Fred asked, looking into his eyes.
"I'm so sorry," Fred said, her voice quivering. "I tried but I didn't try hard enough. I don't know how you could ever forgive me for leaving Regan and you with that thing. I could feel the both of you and you were so lost and I'm so sorry for that. I don't see how you can even look at me."
She buried her head against the crook of his shoulder again and started to sob. All of this was too much and she didn't think she deserved to be there with her family. "I'm afraid something else will happen and I don't want to leave you or Regan again. I want to see our daughter grow up into a wonderful and intelligent young woman and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. And I want to have more babies but I don't even know if I can!"
Pulling back, Fred looked at her husband. "Please don't let anyone take me away again. Please," she begged.
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Cupping his hand to her face, he gently nudged it up so he could look into her eyes while wiping away her tears with his thumb. "I won't let anyone take you away from us again, Fred. I promise. I'm pretty sure Regan won't either, and we both know how stubborn she can be."
He leaned forward and kissed her gently to seal his promise to her. He had failed her and Regan before, and he swore that he wouldn't let it happen again. He loved his wife and daughter more than life - there was no way he was going to let either of them suffer or be taken away from him. Never again.
"And if we can't have any more children the old-fashioned way, then we'll adopt," he told her. "There are plenty of children out there in need of good homes. But let's wait and cross that bridge when we come to it, all right? We might be perfectly able to have more children."
He continued to hold her on his lap, his arm wrapped tightly around her as he caressed her face with the other. "Would you like to try to get some rest?" he asked her softly. "Or do you want to stay here for a while longer?" Either way she wanted it, he was prepared to hold her all night. He didn't want to let her go - not now, not ever.
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"I-I don't know if I can sleep or not. I'm afraid if I do, I'll wake up and be dead again." Fred shook her head, knowing she was being silly. "I know I shouldn't be scared but I only feel safe with you and I don't want to be clingy with you. I just..." She ran her fingers over his neck and smiled a little. He still felt the same. He was still her Wesley.
"This may...I don't...Wesley..."
Fred took a deep breath, not knowing how to say what she wanted, what she needed. "I need you. I know you probably think it's too soon but I need to feel you to make sure I'm really here." She leaned forward and gave him a slow, deep kiss. She was sure Regan was smart enough to know her parents needed time alone so she wasn't worried about her disturbing them.
"Make love to me? Please?" Fred asked, looking into his eyes.
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