Love, livejournal style
The good news is that Valentine's Day is this weekend. The bad news is that the entire region, along with the anti-American part of the country (Massachusetts, Connecticut, Washington DC) has been buried in snow for the past week. I hope that doesn't hinder anyone's Valentine's plans (if so, that brings up a great back up plan...just stay in and listen to the band HINDER). Come to think of it, one of the best Valentine's Days of all-time was in 2007 when my friends and I made a gigantic igloo and partied in it all night. It was unbelievable. I wouldn't be surprised if you could order a dvd of that Valentine's Day real late at night on Comedy Central (amongst all the Girls Gone Wild ads). The craziest part was when I found a block of blue cheese in Walter's jacket. I don't know if anything will ever top that Valentine's Day. A lot of people think that you are supposed to spend VD (I'm going to use this unflattering acronym for Valentine's Day a few times to see if people dig it) with your significant other, but Ive always found it more enjoyable with a cool group of all-male friends.
(last Valentine's weekend my friends and I did a music/comedy/poetry show in Altoona, Pa. It was awesome and reasonably romantic)
Then again I've lived life for many years like every day is an episode of Entourage meets the movie Kangaroo Jack, so maybe it's time I get serious about finding that special lady this VD.
Luckily, e-harmony is FREE this week. Best deal ever. For no charge, they will match you up with your soul mate. Guaranteed. I guess you just fill out some questionnaire and they find some gorgeous lady who answered the same shit and BAM, you have a soul mate! (yeah, check out that Emeril reference! I love dated references...In a couple years I'll make an "Obama's dad jeans" joke on here). My friend Pat Dee and I made a pact a few weeks ago to find soul mates, so I figure this guaranteed, free website is a GREAT place to start. Plus, I can't even imagine how nice it'd be to have a special someone to go to Applebees with every once and awhile!
So before I even think about filling out this eharmony thing, I should get some basic traits of an ideal girlfriend out on LIVEJOURNAL (the original place to meet interesting singles).
1. Must like going to Applebees every once in awhile.
2. Must be blue tooth compatible. As in, must be fine with me always being on my bluetooth or be easily reached via bluetooth throughout the day. I'm just kidding, for now.
3. Must be fine with me parking kinda far from the entrance to shopping malls and restaurants. Walking has never hurt anyone. I think our country's need to get good parking spots is fucking retarded.
4. Must be cool with a Rahm Emanuel quote every now and then. Also cussing.
5. Willing and eager to listen to the Hall and Oates hit "You Make My Dreams Come True" during every car ride. Sometimes two or three times.
6. Absolutely cannot be put off by how many times a guy references the "It's practice, man" Allen Iverson tirade. It's one of my favorite tirades to reference and quote (and ladies: if your man says he doesn't think about AI's tirade every day, he is full of beans). Ladies can come to expect a "It's practice, man" like they would a "that's what she said" joke. Predictable, but usually funny
7. Obviously she must think I'm the most desirable male alive, but Rahm Emanuel should be a definite-but-distant second.
This is my favorite love-y scene from a tv show. Thanks to my girl bootlegASIAN for recording this shitty Youtube video of it on her digi cam!
Click to view
(last Valentine's weekend my friends and I did a music/comedy/poetry show in Altoona, Pa. It was awesome and reasonably romantic)
Then again I've lived life for many years like every day is an episode of Entourage meets the movie Kangaroo Jack, so maybe it's time I get serious about finding that special lady this VD.
Luckily, e-harmony is FREE this week. Best deal ever. For no charge, they will match you up with your soul mate. Guaranteed. I guess you just fill out some questionnaire and they find some gorgeous lady who answered the same shit and BAM, you have a soul mate! (yeah, check out that Emeril reference! I love dated references...In a couple years I'll make an "Obama's dad jeans" joke on here). My friend Pat Dee and I made a pact a few weeks ago to find soul mates, so I figure this guaranteed, free website is a GREAT place to start. Plus, I can't even imagine how nice it'd be to have a special someone to go to Applebees with every once and awhile!
So before I even think about filling out this eharmony thing, I should get some basic traits of an ideal girlfriend out on LIVEJOURNAL (the original place to meet interesting singles).
1. Must like going to Applebees every once in awhile.
2. Must be blue tooth compatible. As in, must be fine with me always being on my bluetooth or be easily reached via bluetooth throughout the day. I'm just kidding, for now.
3. Must be fine with me parking kinda far from the entrance to shopping malls and restaurants. Walking has never hurt anyone. I think our country's need to get good parking spots is fucking retarded.
4. Must be cool with a Rahm Emanuel quote every now and then. Also cussing.
5. Willing and eager to listen to the Hall and Oates hit "You Make My Dreams Come True" during every car ride. Sometimes two or three times.
6. Absolutely cannot be put off by how many times a guy references the "It's practice, man" Allen Iverson tirade. It's one of my favorite tirades to reference and quote (and ladies: if your man says he doesn't think about AI's tirade every day, he is full of beans). Ladies can come to expect a "It's practice, man" like they would a "that's what she said" joke. Predictable, but usually funny
7. Obviously she must think I'm the most desirable male alive, but Rahm Emanuel should be a definite-but-distant second.
This is my favorite love-y scene from a tv show. Thanks to my girl bootlegASIAN for recording this shitty Youtube video of it on her digi cam!