oh the wonders of writing everything down...
i realize now that my life is simply too busy to NOT write some kind of daily or at least weekly journal....
I was in class last week and i had my laptop with me and began typing what was supposed to be a well polished paper about my studychoice and after 45 minutes of what i thought was just "sipmly typing"i already had almost three typed pages!
so... a few things on my mind at the moment that i DON'T have the chance to discuss with anyone..
- I'm surprised with the recent development of a feeling of possessiveness over someone. (never had this before) I found myself actually looking up fotos on the internet of the younger sister of my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend because she keeps calling him almost every 2 weeks since we've been a couple.
my head says: look, its only every two weeks...not really a big deal, let it go
my heart says: trust Jan, he wouldn't do anything to hurt you
my recently developed possessive alter ego says: what kind of girl would KEEP on calling if he tells her "no"everytime? after maybe 3 calls you'd think she'd give up...especially since he's (admitted?) she says he was the best sex she'd ever had. she's like 19! what does she know? and what a bitch for that matter... just cause i know i could take some girls boyfriend doesn't mean i would. is it wrong to fantasize about what i'm going to do when i see her? about how long she's going to spend in the bathroom retouching her makeup so it distracts from the big red wine stain on the front of her expensive shirt? oh i could scalp her at the moment...
- Still worried about not making enough money to save up to go to carmen's wedding in august 2008...
- hopefully studio 80 doesn't find out that i'm not allowed to work until i get my student visa approved... otherwise its back to mango
- wondering how long i can keep up my contraband collection before i have more than i could ever sell...
I was in class last week and i had my laptop with me and began typing what was supposed to be a well polished paper about my studychoice and after 45 minutes of what i thought was just "sipmly typing"i already had almost three typed pages!
so... a few things on my mind at the moment that i DON'T have the chance to discuss with anyone..
- I'm surprised with the recent development of a feeling of possessiveness over someone. (never had this before) I found myself actually looking up fotos on the internet of the younger sister of my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend because she keeps calling him almost every 2 weeks since we've been a couple.
my head says: look, its only every two weeks...not really a big deal, let it go
my heart says: trust Jan, he wouldn't do anything to hurt you
my recently developed possessive alter ego says: what kind of girl would KEEP on calling if he tells her "no"everytime? after maybe 3 calls you'd think she'd give up...especially since he's (admitted?) she says he was the best sex she'd ever had. she's like 19! what does she know? and what a bitch for that matter... just cause i know i could take some girls boyfriend doesn't mean i would. is it wrong to fantasize about what i'm going to do when i see her? about how long she's going to spend in the bathroom retouching her makeup so it distracts from the big red wine stain on the front of her expensive shirt? oh i could scalp her at the moment...
- Still worried about not making enough money to save up to go to carmen's wedding in august 2008...
- hopefully studio 80 doesn't find out that i'm not allowed to work until i get my student visa approved... otherwise its back to mango
- wondering how long i can keep up my contraband collection before i have more than i could ever sell...