(no subject)
my dream last night, it was about a spiritual class system. let me try to remember some of it:
it was a three tiered society and it was based on willpower and true spirituality. as well as drugs:
the top tier was about knowing when to use the drugs. you had to use the drug to gain enlightenment but you had to know when enough was enough. you had to use the right amount and know when to use them. this is where the will power comes into it.
the second tier was for those who used it recreationally. they washed over most of their enlightenment for pleasure. they only showed some restraint so they only got some enlightenment.
the bottom tier was the junkies. the ones who used all the time, used in excess. they never would reach enlightenment because to them it wasn't the spirituality of it all, it was just the drugs and no restraint.
if you were in tier one, you were treated to a secular life. you were rewarded for your self restraint and for your respect to yourself and praised for your work towards your spiritual goal. you got to go into certain places others didn't. they had fountains and red velvet seats and golden orange walls. they were like high class hotels and that is where you stayed and communed with yourself and others. you were with others of your kind and discussed what the drugs did to you in reference to you goal of enlightenment. it was beautiful. the closer you got to your enlightenment, the more you shed away the bounds and burdens of your life, making the use of your willpower easier and easier to control till the point it was effortless. you just knew the less frequently you did your drugs, the closer you were to your place t hat was nameless.
if you were in the second tier, you were bound by your material life, since you used drugs like it was a material object to give you pleasure. your life and living were made to obtain more things and spirituality was just another thing, it wasn't important until it came time for social ceremonies, like weddings and holidays. bound to the earth by what they wanted to have, rather than freedom from the things they had. they had suburban type homes. comfortable and larger than they needed. lots of expensive things they really didn't need. they talked of these things and ran around a lot doing things in the name of life, but never really lived.
the third tier was a shamble. they didn't care for materialistic things, they didn't care for spirituality, they didn't care about anything but the drugs. they would do anything to have it. they had freedom from materialistic things, but it was at a high price. they didn't really have much of a home. if they did it was rat infested or a cardboard box. they were fine with that. they wanted to constantly be high that they, or so they thought, they could enjoy life much better that way. they had nothing but the drive to do more and more.
my dream? it revolved around being a person in tier one. walking through the city and trying to share my love with anybody. the city was golden and bright and the sidewalks and domes were gold. it was a wonderful beautiful city and it almost always looked like sunset.
the people in tier two thought i was crazy and stupid and ignored me. the people from tier three begged for money constantly. i lived in one of the nice places and i didn't have to pay money for it, i just shared my knowledge and wisdom. i got to ravel because of it since i was somebody who only ha dto use the drugs every once in a great while. i was almost to complete freedom.
my friends in tier one with me, they gave me light and love. they were not jealous of my status, but happy for me, genuinely. my friends in tier two were nice and all, but they had say thoughts like "who does she think she's better than?" i didn't have any friends in tier three, but i tried to help as much as i could. i worked in soup kitchens and tried to talk to them, but they would try to rape me or steal from me, but i would forgive them each time and still go back to the soup kitchen.
the end of the dream was me going to a new place for tier one people and knowing it would be the last earthly place i would visit. i remember the statues and the fountain and the plush chairs and the patterned carpet. i woke up from that dream only to have about 5 more dreams that followed of various things that i don't rightly recall, not as well as i recall this dream.
i'm thankful for dreaming this. it makes me feel good about things.
and it just makes me wish i really was that far off more spiritually than i am.
my biggest problem in life is lonliness and money
and it seems those two go hand in hand way too much to fix one and not the other.
