Follow up:
On Monday night I swallowed 39 100mg pills of Seraquil (spelling?) in an attempt to off myself. Obviously i ended up the hospital.. I was there until last night. I don't remember Tuesday at all. I know I haulicinated a lot... I know I felt like something/someone else once in the ambulance. I remember trying to talk to the EMTs and they couldnt understand anything I said-- but I could understand what they were saying. It was ... I don't know. I remember thinking while they wheeled my out of my apartment... "who's going to watch Diva" (my cat).
I think the most depressing part was, That had I not ended up at the hospital and just died there. No one would of even noticed... not for a while at least. Half my face would of probably been eaten off by my cat and I would of stunk.
That's what they would of noticed.. the smell, not the M.I.A, gay guy.
I dont know...
Just sometimes shit gets really rough and I dont really have a safetynet, per say.
I still feel nauseous. My wrists are sore from the IVs, my chest is itching from they shaved off the hair, My cock is sore from the catheter... but to be honest. I feel okay now...
it's like admist all the chaos... something clicked.
I think the most depressing part was, That had I not ended up at the hospital and just died there. No one would of even noticed... not for a while at least. Half my face would of probably been eaten off by my cat and I would of stunk.
That's what they would of noticed.. the smell, not the M.I.A, gay guy.
I dont know...
Just sometimes shit gets really rough and I dont really have a safetynet, per say.
I still feel nauseous. My wrists are sore from the IVs, my chest is itching from they shaved off the hair, My cock is sore from the catheter... but to be honest. I feel okay now...
it's like admist all the chaos... something clicked.