For what it's worth
Hello LJ. It's been awhile. I felt like I needed to rant for a bit but didn't feel like everyone throwing in their 2 cents about what I have to say. Friends the exception. So I choose this instead of Facebook.
Well Life has been quite interesting sense I last updated here. Last summer was the worst summer I can recall of my life. I've said it before so I won't really elaborate but lets just say a certain car and a certain girl were big factors. Luckily I have great friends and family that brought me smiles and words of inspiration last summer in between all the bullshit. Though, in retrospect, I'm glad I went through it. I think I came out of it much more mature. After feeling like shit because of my situation for that whole time, I no longer feel the need to care as much before. If I do, it's only for my friends and fam. Now that doesn't mean I changed my friendly nature but I just started letting all the nonsense go in one ear and out the other. Care free is alot of the new me that emerged that summer. This new mentality brought on a new confidence too and lead to bettering myself with school and better financial status. Now there have been hiicups in the later since but after the summers done, let's just say I just took a big chug of water to extinguish those hiccups.
So yeah, I ended what wasn't even a relationship in retrospect and attained a new vehicle through some great friends. Started classes. Thing were moving up and becoming solid. Considering I'm 26 now, I'm claiming this stage of my life the gradual rise to success. I'll make time to hang out but also making time for what's big on my agenda. School. I've had some neat classes thus far and it's been pretty enlightening to use my brain for other then "This isn't a ride, it's a show" Especially now that I'm ready for the learning environment and content, I've been doing pretty well. So far it's been all Bs with the exception of my American History till 1890 class ( i got a C) but in my defense, I didn't have the book. Financially hiccup was the cause of that. Though It's only been a few classes (2 a semester) this fall I'll be working on 4. Really looking forward to the Digital Media class.
So now the women. hahaha. Well, After the summer fiasco. I needed time to spend with friends/fam. and realign the good parts and enjoyment out of life. So I had the mentality of "Not really Looking". If something came up, I would progress to see if it merits my time and company. For the most part it has. Though, I'm starting to notice a pattern. haha. The past 2 girls I've been involved with were 20 yrs. when they were really into me. Though, upon there 21st B-day, is when they start to detach themselves from me for whatever reason. It's also when I'm at the peak of my comfort with them and ready to get serious with them that they turn and spit in the other direction. The 1st I already discussed and the 2nd was a girl I meet at Valencia's East Campus. It's weird when I find a girl that has similar interest like me in things and is also attracted to me. It's a nice feeling and I see this is the initial good parts of a relationship. Though, they never last. When I broke ties with The Valencia gal ( I won't disclose names but she has the same name as the month she decided to brake up with me) I felt a bit aggravated cause I felt ready to be in a real relationship but she wanted to part ways. I got it though. I felt fine but I almost laughed when I realized it's always when I get comfortable is when they peace out of my life.
I always strive to be the bigger person if there is a negative outcome. I think I do quite well. I know I make mistakes but Once I make them, I approach the problem in a very mature manner. Not to get side tracked but this is where my mind has been when something negatives happens. No longer to I accept complete defeat, I only accept the mistake and validate the reasons that I made my mistake and find a solution. SO yeah, Girls don't brake me anymore. It's more or less there fault for not wanting to be with me.
Now it's mid summer and I've been hanging out with a girl for about a month plus now. We really don't have a whole lot in common except that we both like to have a good time and enjoy each others company. There's a couple food items that match too but that's just too gay to get into right now. Anywho, that's right you guessed it, she's 20. haha. and her birthday is this year in november. hahaha. It's been pretty good thus far hanging out but she recently got kinda weird on me. Like her typing and happiness isn't there when she talks to me. I noticed it when she went to pick up her friend from the airport. Now before all this happened, she tells me about her ex's and that one of them didn't really end in the guys eye. He went into the services and she didn't want to do the long distance thing.
So fast forward back to now. I come to find out this is that guy. I asked her what's been bothering her recently and she says that her and this guy dated before and when she pi9cked him up the other morning, he admitted that he still loved her and wanted to get back together. So then she has been not the same happy person recently and we went to a party and she kinda avoided me but whatever, I was there to have fun and meet new people. That night after we got back to her place, we're all pretty much drunk to an extent. I pass out on her bed, wake up middle of the night to find her crying in bed next to me. I remember asking her what was wrong but I really don't remember other then her friend has to go back to Iraq or wherever. So in closing she said that she feels bad for him. Though, I'm getting a sense of her distancing herself from me. So I can already feel it coming on. I'm pretty sure I'll find out next time I see her or at the latest, Friday. Didn't even make it within the one month till birthday mark. le sigh. Oh well, if that's how it is then so be it. If not, it works for me too. I just need to concentrate on school and bettering myself.
Also in other news, I miss my frineds and Fam. Glad Chris and Jessi are having a most excellent adventure and not a bogus journey across the USA. I look forward to seeing them after their great venture. Greg moved out to Largo/Clearwater so I maybe get the chance to see him maybe once a month at best. My roommate Chris is moving out to California in 10 days so that sucks. I"m glad he'll be trying to get in the biz out there but I"m going to miss his antics and our ability to parody songs like no others. It's hard to get out to see the Fam. with gas being such a factor nowadays. Le sigh. I'm staying strong though. I have a mission and I will one day be able to meet with all and be comfortable with my occupation.
Thanks for listening LJ and the maybe 1 or 2 people who read this. Hope everyone is doing well.
Well Life has been quite interesting sense I last updated here. Last summer was the worst summer I can recall of my life. I've said it before so I won't really elaborate but lets just say a certain car and a certain girl were big factors. Luckily I have great friends and family that brought me smiles and words of inspiration last summer in between all the bullshit. Though, in retrospect, I'm glad I went through it. I think I came out of it much more mature. After feeling like shit because of my situation for that whole time, I no longer feel the need to care as much before. If I do, it's only for my friends and fam. Now that doesn't mean I changed my friendly nature but I just started letting all the nonsense go in one ear and out the other. Care free is alot of the new me that emerged that summer. This new mentality brought on a new confidence too and lead to bettering myself with school and better financial status. Now there have been hiicups in the later since but after the summers done, let's just say I just took a big chug of water to extinguish those hiccups.
So yeah, I ended what wasn't even a relationship in retrospect and attained a new vehicle through some great friends. Started classes. Thing were moving up and becoming solid. Considering I'm 26 now, I'm claiming this stage of my life the gradual rise to success. I'll make time to hang out but also making time for what's big on my agenda. School. I've had some neat classes thus far and it's been pretty enlightening to use my brain for other then "This isn't a ride, it's a show" Especially now that I'm ready for the learning environment and content, I've been doing pretty well. So far it's been all Bs with the exception of my American History till 1890 class ( i got a C) but in my defense, I didn't have the book. Financially hiccup was the cause of that. Though It's only been a few classes (2 a semester) this fall I'll be working on 4. Really looking forward to the Digital Media class.
So now the women. hahaha. Well, After the summer fiasco. I needed time to spend with friends/fam. and realign the good parts and enjoyment out of life. So I had the mentality of "Not really Looking". If something came up, I would progress to see if it merits my time and company. For the most part it has. Though, I'm starting to notice a pattern. haha. The past 2 girls I've been involved with were 20 yrs. when they were really into me. Though, upon there 21st B-day, is when they start to detach themselves from me for whatever reason. It's also when I'm at the peak of my comfort with them and ready to get serious with them that they turn and spit in the other direction. The 1st I already discussed and the 2nd was a girl I meet at Valencia's East Campus. It's weird when I find a girl that has similar interest like me in things and is also attracted to me. It's a nice feeling and I see this is the initial good parts of a relationship. Though, they never last. When I broke ties with The Valencia gal ( I won't disclose names but she has the same name as the month she decided to brake up with me) I felt a bit aggravated cause I felt ready to be in a real relationship but she wanted to part ways. I got it though. I felt fine but I almost laughed when I realized it's always when I get comfortable is when they peace out of my life.
I always strive to be the bigger person if there is a negative outcome. I think I do quite well. I know I make mistakes but Once I make them, I approach the problem in a very mature manner. Not to get side tracked but this is where my mind has been when something negatives happens. No longer to I accept complete defeat, I only accept the mistake and validate the reasons that I made my mistake and find a solution. SO yeah, Girls don't brake me anymore. It's more or less there fault for not wanting to be with me.
Now it's mid summer and I've been hanging out with a girl for about a month plus now. We really don't have a whole lot in common except that we both like to have a good time and enjoy each others company. There's a couple food items that match too but that's just too gay to get into right now. Anywho, that's right you guessed it, she's 20. haha. and her birthday is this year in november. hahaha. It's been pretty good thus far hanging out but she recently got kinda weird on me. Like her typing and happiness isn't there when she talks to me. I noticed it when she went to pick up her friend from the airport. Now before all this happened, she tells me about her ex's and that one of them didn't really end in the guys eye. He went into the services and she didn't want to do the long distance thing.
So fast forward back to now. I come to find out this is that guy. I asked her what's been bothering her recently and she says that her and this guy dated before and when she pi9cked him up the other morning, he admitted that he still loved her and wanted to get back together. So then she has been not the same happy person recently and we went to a party and she kinda avoided me but whatever, I was there to have fun and meet new people. That night after we got back to her place, we're all pretty much drunk to an extent. I pass out on her bed, wake up middle of the night to find her crying in bed next to me. I remember asking her what was wrong but I really don't remember other then her friend has to go back to Iraq or wherever. So in closing she said that she feels bad for him. Though, I'm getting a sense of her distancing herself from me. So I can already feel it coming on. I'm pretty sure I'll find out next time I see her or at the latest, Friday. Didn't even make it within the one month till birthday mark. le sigh. Oh well, if that's how it is then so be it. If not, it works for me too. I just need to concentrate on school and bettering myself.
Also in other news, I miss my frineds and Fam. Glad Chris and Jessi are having a most excellent adventure and not a bogus journey across the USA. I look forward to seeing them after their great venture. Greg moved out to Largo/Clearwater so I maybe get the chance to see him maybe once a month at best. My roommate Chris is moving out to California in 10 days so that sucks. I"m glad he'll be trying to get in the biz out there but I"m going to miss his antics and our ability to parody songs like no others. It's hard to get out to see the Fam. with gas being such a factor nowadays. Le sigh. I'm staying strong though. I have a mission and I will one day be able to meet with all and be comfortable with my occupation.
Thanks for listening LJ and the maybe 1 or 2 people who read this. Hope everyone is doing well.