(no subject)
Sometimes I don't know what is going on inside my head. I feel like I'm losing a grip on myself. I still feel attached to her no matter how much I tell myself and everyone else that I don't care anymore and that I'm not interested in anyone. I guess I just say that because the truth kills me. The things I found out hurt. I feel like the only reason she said what she said that night is because she had "nothing left to lose" since I was "with someone". And now that she knows differently she feels trapped so she keeps looking for excuses to back her way out of anything that would lead to an "us" and that kills me inside. I just want to be there for her but she won't let me. I don't know what she's afraid of.