*rips bleeding heart out*
I really do think I am being used, but I still can not pinpoint what for?
To put it bluntly, about a week ago I googled Samantha (the girl who is supposed to come out and see me in about two weeks, who "loves me")'s aim name to find her profile on hotgoths.net. Instead I found a journal I shouldn't have seen, a journal that pretty much shows that I've been lied to by her. According to it her and what I thought was her ex are still together and apparently she "loves him". So as of the past two weeks I went from cloud nine to feeling like shit again....all because of that damn "l" word. I honestly don't know what the fuck to do, she doesn't know I found out yet and I've been acting like I don't know for the sole purpose of a kind of fucked up reason. The possibility of getting "laid". Argh...how can you tell two different people you love them? I could never do that. And to think I actually thought I loved her too and part of me thinks I still do,ugh this sucks.
To put it bluntly, about a week ago I googled Samantha (the girl who is supposed to come out and see me in about two weeks, who "loves me")'s aim name to find her profile on hotgoths.net. Instead I found a journal I shouldn't have seen, a journal that pretty much shows that I've been lied to by her. According to it her and what I thought was her ex are still together and apparently she "loves him". So as of the past two weeks I went from cloud nine to feeling like shit again....all because of that damn "l" word. I honestly don't know what the fuck to do, she doesn't know I found out yet and I've been acting like I don't know for the sole purpose of a kind of fucked up reason. The possibility of getting "laid". Argh...how can you tell two different people you love them? I could never do that. And to think I actually thought I loved her too and part of me thinks I still do,ugh this sucks.