Conan's Monday and Tuesday Monologues re: NBC
I suggest you watch at least his monologue for the next few nights. I anticipate a lot of great "NBC sucks" jokes like the following from Monday and Tuesday:
Good evening. I'm Conan O'Brien, the new host of "Last Call with Carson Daly."
This weekend no one was seriously hurt, but a 6.5 earthquake hit California. The earthquake was so powerful that it knocked Jay Leno's show from 10 o'clock to 11:35.
Everybody now wants to know what my plans are. All I can say is that I plan to continue putting on a great show night after night - while stealing as many office supplies as humanly possible.
On the positive side, I have learned a valuable lesson from all this: never sign a contract that ends with the word "NOT."
NBC announced that they expect to lose $200 million on the Winter Olympics next month. Is it just me or is that story hilarious?
A company says it has developed "the world's first sex robot," which costs 9,000 dollars. The sex robot was actually ready 10 years ago but t scientist who invented it wouldn't stop testing it. (not related, but funny)
---
Hello, my name is Conan O'Brien, and I may soon be available for children's parties.
Welcome to NBC. Where our new slogan is, "No longer just screwing up prime-time."
When I was a little boy, I remember watching "The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson" and thinking "Someday, I'm going to host that show for 7 months."
NBC says they're planning to have the late night situation worked out before the Winter Olympics start. And trust me, when NBC says something - you can take that to the bank!
The movie reviewer at the Vatican newspaper has called the film "Avatar" simplistic, superficial, bland, sappy and unoriginal. Sounds like someone forgot to get stoned.
And during his bit on his "future options" in entertainment, the funnier entries included:
- Pretend to put my son in a giant foil balloon, then sit back and watch the offers come pouring in!
- Move to FOX and follow their hit "24" with a new show called "24:05."
- Leave television altogether, and work in a classier business with better people, like hard core porn.
Good evening. I'm Conan O'Brien, the new host of "Last Call with Carson Daly."
This weekend no one was seriously hurt, but a 6.5 earthquake hit California. The earthquake was so powerful that it knocked Jay Leno's show from 10 o'clock to 11:35.
Everybody now wants to know what my plans are. All I can say is that I plan to continue putting on a great show night after night - while stealing as many office supplies as humanly possible.
On the positive side, I have learned a valuable lesson from all this: never sign a contract that ends with the word "NOT."
NBC announced that they expect to lose $200 million on the Winter Olympics next month. Is it just me or is that story hilarious?
A company says it has developed "the world's first sex robot," which costs 9,000 dollars. The sex robot was actually ready 10 years ago but t scientist who invented it wouldn't stop testing it. (not related, but funny)
---
Hello, my name is Conan O'Brien, and I may soon be available for children's parties.
Welcome to NBC. Where our new slogan is, "No longer just screwing up prime-time."
When I was a little boy, I remember watching "The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson" and thinking "Someday, I'm going to host that show for 7 months."
NBC says they're planning to have the late night situation worked out before the Winter Olympics start. And trust me, when NBC says something - you can take that to the bank!
The movie reviewer at the Vatican newspaper has called the film "Avatar" simplistic, superficial, bland, sappy and unoriginal. Sounds like someone forgot to get stoned.
And during his bit on his "future options" in entertainment, the funnier entries included:
- Pretend to put my son in a giant foil balloon, then sit back and watch the offers come pouring in!
- Move to FOX and follow their hit "24" with a new show called "24:05."
- Leave television altogether, and work in a classier business with better people, like hard core porn.