(no subject)
I just don't know.
Life can be so hard sometimes.
It's like making a house of cards in a windstorm.
One wrong move and it'll all fall apart.
I just want to live.
I just want to live.
I just want to live.
106 bucks a week.
no...wait...
111 bucks a week.
That's $444.00 a month.
He's worth it.
My son that is.
Everyone needs to shut the fuck up.
I'm trying to be a good dad.
And if I didn't care.
I would have let his mom give him up for adoption.
Way back in May.
And remember that I was the one that was lied to.
But that's not even it.
All my life is anymore is work.
And meetings.
And more work.
And it seems that I can't even support myself.
Let alone somebody else.
And then when I tell my brother he needs a job.
He tells me to stop being shitty to him.
My head's gonna explode.
The business meeting tonight was good.
I should be starting my own business soon.
Which I'll be getting money every day.
That multiplies.
It's complicated.
But this meeting explained everything.
I just can't wait.
Untill everything's ok.
I've got to drive back and forth to Merrillville 8 times.
On only a quarter of a tank of gas.
The plug on my oil pan is stripped.
And so I can't change my oil.
I hope it makes it untill payday.
No cigarettes either.
I should have food for awhile.
And I have coffee.
So things could be worse...but hell.
I need to do laundry.
I feel like a complete loser right now.
I don't even have a bed to sleep in.
My apartment is trashed.
I'm depressed as all hell.
Can anyone spot me 5 or 10 fucking dollars?
Fuck it. I'm a professional.
I'll rise above it.
It's all I can do.
I just want a week off with you.
I just want a day where I come home and I feel good.
And I want to feel like cleaning up shit.
Not a day where I come home exhausted.
Or sick.
And have to get up and go to work all over again.
The only moment of zen I have is playing my guitar.
Or having my burbon on the rocks.
Seeing my son smile widely.
Or looking into her eyes as she looks back at me.
It's the reason why I get up everyday.
And this meeting tonight taught me something valuable.
It's important how an individual invests their time.
And at what time they invest it at.
The way I invest my time is going to change by next year.
For the last fucking time I just want everything to be ok.
and I want a bed.
Life can be so hard sometimes.
It's like making a house of cards in a windstorm.
One wrong move and it'll all fall apart.
I just want to live.
I just want to live.
I just want to live.
106 bucks a week.
no...wait...
111 bucks a week.
That's $444.00 a month.
He's worth it.
My son that is.
Everyone needs to shut the fuck up.
I'm trying to be a good dad.
And if I didn't care.
I would have let his mom give him up for adoption.
Way back in May.
And remember that I was the one that was lied to.
But that's not even it.
All my life is anymore is work.
And meetings.
And more work.
And it seems that I can't even support myself.
Let alone somebody else.
And then when I tell my brother he needs a job.
He tells me to stop being shitty to him.
My head's gonna explode.
The business meeting tonight was good.
I should be starting my own business soon.
Which I'll be getting money every day.
That multiplies.
It's complicated.
But this meeting explained everything.
I just can't wait.
Untill everything's ok.
I've got to drive back and forth to Merrillville 8 times.
On only a quarter of a tank of gas.
The plug on my oil pan is stripped.
And so I can't change my oil.
I hope it makes it untill payday.
No cigarettes either.
I should have food for awhile.
And I have coffee.
So things could be worse...but hell.
I need to do laundry.
I feel like a complete loser right now.
I don't even have a bed to sleep in.
My apartment is trashed.
I'm depressed as all hell.
Can anyone spot me 5 or 10 fucking dollars?
Fuck it. I'm a professional.
I'll rise above it.
It's all I can do.
I just want a week off with you.
I just want a day where I come home and I feel good.
And I want to feel like cleaning up shit.
Not a day where I come home exhausted.
Or sick.
And have to get up and go to work all over again.
The only moment of zen I have is playing my guitar.
Or having my burbon on the rocks.
Seeing my son smile widely.
Or looking into her eyes as she looks back at me.
It's the reason why I get up everyday.
And this meeting tonight taught me something valuable.
It's important how an individual invests their time.
And at what time they invest it at.
The way I invest my time is going to change by next year.
For the last fucking time I just want everything to be ok.
and I want a bed.