What happens when Maria does madlibs at work:

[thehourspass]

"Hello, all you lumpy ladies and gentlemen! Are you tired of having green teeth? Are you tired of running around hiding your ferocious, beautiful pink teeth? Do you wish you could have soft teeth like Celine Dion? Wish no longer! For only 2000 dollars and 0 cents you can have fancy teeth today! Simply, before you go to bathroom each night, apply this sparkly substance to your ear. It has the wonderful taste of iguana! You will feel it working right away by the warm sniffing sensation. By the next morning, this square substance will have dissolved away your bitchy old teeth! Finally, coat your gums with maple syrup and hold your new teeth (included in this round kit at no extra charge!) firmly in place for 43 minutes. It's as easy as that! Don't delay! Buy today! (Side effects may include walking, sneezing, and AIDS.)"

walking, sneezing and AIDS. haha

Wow I really need something to do...