(no subject)
So……..
I told Kris that If We don’t have A place THIS SPRING. I am getting one by myself. God he was pissed, but whatever. How long am I supposed to wait for him to stop sucking on mommy's tits? I love him, but it’s getting to be too much, maybe that makes me a bitch, but its almost been four years and we are right where we were on day one. Does that make me a bitch? Perhaps, but whatever.
Kris keeps coming up with things he needs to spend money on (I mean the normal truck car bull but now its also like he needs teeth pulled, I mean he really does, but why now?)
I got another day at work so now I'm working 40 hours. I am moving out this spring, with or with out him. And I think that if I do w/o him than our relationship is over. I think he will end it. He seems to think that if I do ill have strange guys over every night, and that I will be fucking everyone in creation. But he doesn't realize that if that's who I was, I would have been doing it a long time ago, because I have been neglected. He may leave me...But that's okay, It shows me that He wasn't right. I love him, but it is very apparent to me that his future and mine are starting to look very different I am not saying I don’t want to be with him, but all these years I’ve been waiting, for a ring for a place, for some respect... So whatever happens, it’ll make a huge difference.
Keith, his Best friend, bought a garage in Rice Lake. Kris (though he Swears that’s not the case. it) Is really thinking about leaving his real job and going up there. I’ve told him I will not move there. My job is here. It’s a job that I don’t love, but I don’t hate, I’ve never had that before. I hate the people there, but the work I do isn’t really that bad. I wont move to Rice Lake. I won’t. Especially if I don’t have my license because than I can only come home when he will allow me, and hell no. I wont fucking do that. I’m too Independent to have to do that shit, plus as much as a bitch as my mom is at times, I still am very close to her and I don’t want to have to beg to see her.
So I have the sinking feeling that this is going to end soon. I Love him and its breaking my heart. But Whatever. What kind of a girlfriend would I be if I didn’t let him do what he has always wanted to do? That isn’t fair of me at all. But in the same aspect I shouldn’t have to drop my life for his Dream right?
I will find out more about my self now than ever, I do believe….