Casino sans peril
The boys and I spent most of todays afternoon at Chuck E. Cheese's. Chuck E. Cheese's can literally be compared to a casino, but for children. Unlike a casino though, it's the parents who are out of their element and only get in the way. Also, instead of pit bosses who are surly senior citizens, they have over zealous teenagers making sure the children don't turn into monkeys. The players too are of all kinds. Check it out.
The Poor Kids: Boys and girls who are in the game room merely for monetary gain at the expense of others. You'll notice them consistently scanning the floor and game slots for abandoned tickets. Also, look for these kids to be crowding your machine, waiting for you to turn your back on your own tickets and/or tokens. Another common practice of the Poor Kid is to follow closely behind the teen in the rat suit, knowing that eventually he/she will be giving tickets away. More often than not you'll want to watch your own children, out of concern for these types. In fact, I recall a time when Chuckie was throwing out free tickets. I had to fend off a child who was not only scooping the pile with his arms, but also taking directly from the hands of others. Justice should not sleep just because an employee is blinded by a costume.
The Substance Abusers: Also occupying the game room are those youngsters too stimulated to keep track of their own loot. These poor children are truly there for a good time, but unfortunately often fall prey to the above mentioned vultures. Look for The Substance Abuser to be spinning in circles with a soda in hand, while his/her cup of tokens sits idle on top of a skeeball lane. This type moves and plays spontaneously, and almost always forgets to leave a game with their earnings. They may also be spotted by their lack of shoes and/or socks. Although they are good kids it's inevitable they are the first to go home battered and broke, due to a sugar induced tantrum or minor self-inflicted injury. Leisure time is intense, but should end abruptly for a much needed afternoon nap.
The Future Corporate Titans: Last but not least are the misers. Unlike with the first group who are actually having big fun scamming other players, and the second group who are obviously enjoying themselves, Chuck E. Cheese's is all business. You won't find these boys and girls at the skeeball lanes or an air hockey table. Why? Because there are other machines available where the payout is almost uncapped. Sure, trying to calculate the fall of your token according to a numbered slot is not as fun as whacking an animal with a mallet, but who cares? The Suits only have so many tokens, to turn into tickets, to stuff into their Ziploc baggy which doubles as a vault for a future lava lamp or boom box. If this is your child, rest assured he/she will have a financially secure future. Just hope you won't ever have to ask little Billy for a loan in your twilight years. Fat chance, Pops.
Yeah, so as a parent it's best just to let your child have their fun... as long as they don't forget their manners, and watch out for the vultures. In the end, it's an investment as you are the one who financed Jr. in the first place. Make sure he/she either leaves with a smile and a balloon, or a smile and a deposit into their Ziploc account.
Happy Gaming!
~Joe
The Poor Kids: Boys and girls who are in the game room merely for monetary gain at the expense of others. You'll notice them consistently scanning the floor and game slots for abandoned tickets. Also, look for these kids to be crowding your machine, waiting for you to turn your back on your own tickets and/or tokens. Another common practice of the Poor Kid is to follow closely behind the teen in the rat suit, knowing that eventually he/she will be giving tickets away. More often than not you'll want to watch your own children, out of concern for these types. In fact, I recall a time when Chuckie was throwing out free tickets. I had to fend off a child who was not only scooping the pile with his arms, but also taking directly from the hands of others. Justice should not sleep just because an employee is blinded by a costume.
The Substance Abusers: Also occupying the game room are those youngsters too stimulated to keep track of their own loot. These poor children are truly there for a good time, but unfortunately often fall prey to the above mentioned vultures. Look for The Substance Abuser to be spinning in circles with a soda in hand, while his/her cup of tokens sits idle on top of a skeeball lane. This type moves and plays spontaneously, and almost always forgets to leave a game with their earnings. They may also be spotted by their lack of shoes and/or socks. Although they are good kids it's inevitable they are the first to go home battered and broke, due to a sugar induced tantrum or minor self-inflicted injury. Leisure time is intense, but should end abruptly for a much needed afternoon nap.
The Future Corporate Titans: Last but not least are the misers. Unlike with the first group who are actually having big fun scamming other players, and the second group who are obviously enjoying themselves, Chuck E. Cheese's is all business. You won't find these boys and girls at the skeeball lanes or an air hockey table. Why? Because there are other machines available where the payout is almost uncapped. Sure, trying to calculate the fall of your token according to a numbered slot is not as fun as whacking an animal with a mallet, but who cares? The Suits only have so many tokens, to turn into tickets, to stuff into their Ziploc baggy which doubles as a vault for a future lava lamp or boom box. If this is your child, rest assured he/she will have a financially secure future. Just hope you won't ever have to ask little Billy for a loan in your twilight years. Fat chance, Pops.
Yeah, so as a parent it's best just to let your child have their fun... as long as they don't forget their manners, and watch out for the vultures. In the end, it's an investment as you are the one who financed Jr. in the first place. Make sure he/she either leaves with a smile and a balloon, or a smile and a deposit into their Ziploc account.
Happy Gaming!
~Joe