I read this in another community.

[thehobbit]

I asked the poster if I could repost and share. They said yes. Originally written, and probably eventually edited by pennypinkledI remember a conversation I had with my mother. She announced her thoughts that my tangled hair and unshaven legs were unsightly mechanisms behind which I hid the "real beauty" that I could possess, but that I didn't think I "

Comments

[xochitl]

No kidding; when I wasn't shaving it was amazing how many people assumed I was making a political statement (and would express to me how they agreed or did not agree with said statement) rather than I was just lazy and forgot to buy razors every time I went to the store, so I decided to just quit shaving for a year.

The other assumptions had to do with my sexuality, because OF COURSE a hetereosexual woman would never stop shaving, because then how could she attract TEH MENZ?! My boyfriend at the time did not give a fuck, but my male friends always felt the need to tell me how "unsexy" I was. Dustin always stood up for me, and he was awesome for it.

I had a similar issue with my dreads-- the interesting thing about that is the comments I got from black folks were along the lines of "cool hair!", "love your hair!", "how did you get your hair to do that?" where as the comments I got from white people were mainly accusing me of "cultural appropriation"... Wat.

Shaving and having brushable hair is kind of a relief, in so far as being able to blend in with "the normies". :/ I get enough random questions about my tattoos and ears, and even those I hate dealing with sometimes.

[thehobbit]

This post nailed me to a wall because I remembered when I first started making choices about my physical appearance how my Mother would ask me why I was trying to make myself ugly and how horrible it left me feeling. Where as now, as an adult, the choices I make about my appearance are in direct correlation to how I feel attractive and what makes me feel attractive.

I do admit I miss the blendability sometimes and wish I could just return to the comfort of blending in with the rest of the world, but I am yam who I yam you know? It's nice to know that I should not be trying to blend.

And yeah, the first time I really stopped shaving I remember my Mom asked if it was politics or if I was a lesbian. I said I just didn't want to shave for a while. Now shaving is more about when I want to and if it makes me feel pretty AT THAT MOMENT. Sometimes my body hair makes me feel more attractive, other times not.

Also, men should really STFU about the attractiveness of body hair. A friend of mine used to pick on mine yet had shoulder hair, not back, SHOULDER HAIR so thick it was like a hairy carpet from shoulder to shoulder. I never gave him shit about his wookie soul patch, but my legs were fair game.

[xochitl]

Men are all like, "But we groom! You should too!" Yeah... okay... it's fair, I'll agree with that. Buuuuut... if men don't groom, women don't ostracize them. You can be the hairiest manbeast on the planet and women will still sleep with you. Because hello, MEN CREATE THE BEAUTY STANDARDS. It is annoying that more guys don't get this.

My mom asked me a lot of the same questions when I stopped shaving. I was confused because she was a hippie, she grew up in the 60's and 70's and should know why a woman would want to take control of her own appearance. I shave now because I don't like my tattoos to be hairy (lol) but the sad thing is it's kind of nice not to have to deal with people's "concerns", as if not shaving my legs/pits is akin to going on a hunger strike or chaining myself to a tree. o_O

[thehobbit]

I'd agree with this we groom you groom theory if I ever dated men who regularly groom. If they get to groom once a week I get to groom once a week. Or for some of them, once every two weeks, etc.

The friend in question gets a free pass because:
1. He found a lady person he wants to marry. Go him!
2. He shaves his head every day. That's a lot of money where my mouth is if I'd really wanted to be with him. However when he was first giving me shit he was not regularly shaving his head.

I will say the bonus of being pregnant is Mike has completely green lit all body hair. I think after trying to shave around Valentine's Day he realized how impossible the entire she bang is now and was just like...why? I pointed to pretty lingerie but I still think he thought it was stupid of me.

My Mom was raised in the 60's and 70's but apparently somehow I'm still her "wild child". The woman regularly did drugs but I choose to not shave my legs and I've just rocked the whole entire fucking boat. I mean, now a days she's like...well, you do whatever. You're an adult and I DON'T CARE. But the things we talked about when I was a teen.

Also, if I ever go on a hunger strike I am totally going to try to shave my legs to let people know that's "not the real political statement". *eye roll*

Oh and like I said. I shave when I want or don't when I don't. Since I only have two leg tattoos and one of them doesn't get covered with hair it seems silly to worry about the upkeep. And my poor vag tattoo has gotten so prison tastic I could really give a rats about how maintained that whole thing is. I used to like to shave to show it off but it's pretty rough now a days.