(no subject)
This is pretty awesome (from some stupid newspaper somewhere):
"CHELSEA - A woman facing jail time for "staring" at a police dog had charges against her dropped Monday after an Orange County prosecutor viewed videotape of the alleged crime.
Jayna Hutchinson, now of Lebanon, N.H., was scheduled for a jury trial this week on a misdemeanor charge of cruelty to animals.
A Vermont State Police sergeant said Hutchinson was intoxicated and stared at his police dog in a "taunting/harassing manner" last July while officers were in the process of investigating a reported melee outside a West Fairlee establishment."
She was staring at the dog in a "taunting/harassing manner"? It's a fucking vicious attack animal! You're probably not going to hurt its FEELINGS. I don't think a police beast, armed with razor sharp teeth and a thirst for criminals, will really be intimidated by a drunken woman. Am I wrong here?
Apparently, the charges were dropped because the prosecutor, in all his infinite wisdom, realized that you probably would have a hard time proving that making eye contact is tantamount to cruelty. I guess that concept was a little too complicated for the arresting officer.
Now, if Shatner was staring at the dog, I might feel differently. I don't know about you, but just a glance from Shatner I would have "shat" my pants:
Also, the headline to the story made me vomit a little in my mouth: "Animal cruelty case yields 'doggone' dismissal." That copy editor should be canned from his job and set on fire. Seriously, my profession is filled with these idiots. It's depressing.
Moving on: Life is awesome, or shitty, or mediocre, or [insert adjective here] depending, most of the time, on the time of day, what I'm wearing, and whether or not I'm eating a beef taco. My job has kind of devolved into me trying to write the kind of headlines that I classify as "awesomely bad." The category includes free use of the worst puns you've ever heard, perfect alliteration, lack of verbs, and plays on words using "Alpaca." Beyond that, I roll my eyes until they fall out of my skull and gain weight.
If this isn't living, I just don't want to be alive.
"CHELSEA - A woman facing jail time for "staring" at a police dog had charges against her dropped Monday after an Orange County prosecutor viewed videotape of the alleged crime.
Jayna Hutchinson, now of Lebanon, N.H., was scheduled for a jury trial this week on a misdemeanor charge of cruelty to animals.
A Vermont State Police sergeant said Hutchinson was intoxicated and stared at his police dog in a "taunting/harassing manner" last July while officers were in the process of investigating a reported melee outside a West Fairlee establishment."
She was staring at the dog in a "taunting/harassing manner"? It's a fucking vicious attack animal! You're probably not going to hurt its FEELINGS. I don't think a police beast, armed with razor sharp teeth and a thirst for criminals, will really be intimidated by a drunken woman. Am I wrong here?
Apparently, the charges were dropped because the prosecutor, in all his infinite wisdom, realized that you probably would have a hard time proving that making eye contact is tantamount to cruelty. I guess that concept was a little too complicated for the arresting officer.
Now, if Shatner was staring at the dog, I might feel differently. I don't know about you, but just a glance from Shatner I would have "shat" my pants:
Also, the headline to the story made me vomit a little in my mouth: "Animal cruelty case yields 'doggone' dismissal." That copy editor should be canned from his job and set on fire. Seriously, my profession is filled with these idiots. It's depressing.
Moving on: Life is awesome, or shitty, or mediocre, or [insert adjective here] depending, most of the time, on the time of day, what I'm wearing, and whether or not I'm eating a beef taco. My job has kind of devolved into me trying to write the kind of headlines that I classify as "awesomely bad." The category includes free use of the worst puns you've ever heard, perfect alliteration, lack of verbs, and plays on words using "Alpaca." Beyond that, I roll my eyes until they fall out of my skull and gain weight.
If this isn't living, I just don't want to be alive.