farewell to LJ
Well its been roughly 17 weeks since my last post on anything ( though i've read the posts that have been made by others).
I'm going to say goodbye officially to my Lj because I basically have no use for it anymore.
Nothing really spectacular has happened - actually probably more bad news than good as of late...or maybe its been balanced. In any case it doesnt hugely matter anymore.
Things are moving along ( though in which direction is quite unknown ) though I should stop making this post like its from a fuckin drama queen - Lj has been good to me ( as good as a piece of coding and an application and online site can be ).
It's learned a vast array of emotions - everything from the very happy to the very sad to the very pissed.
I've learned a hard lesson in the most recent past - mainly that a lot of women can be absolute cunts...they can be treacherous, evil, misleading and down right infuriating.
It's partially my fault for not recognizing a cunt when I saw her but I suppose my vision was clouded by the fact that I hoped for more from her ( my mistake apparently ).
It was quite the episode....it will leave a permanent mark on me that im sure im going to remember for a very long time ( I have a habit of holding some of the BIGGEST grudges - which usually means you dont forget the people that fuck you, in a way its helpful but in another way it keeps you pissed).
So aside from cunts I've basically lost the two most important people to me ( the two that I would normally go to for help with any problems for help. I only would go to those two because I trusted them and loved them deeply. Whatever hard truth there was to learn I preferred to learn it from their lips and they've left me. I'll deal and I'll cope like I have before but I'm constantly wishing that I could find them again).
One of them was my fault - I turned my back on her - though I had the idea that she turned her back on me a long time before I turned mine on hers. It's one of the things I'll perhaps never know and I'll again try to deal with that or cope with that.
In times where I have problems or make posts like this ( that are taking a turn for the emotional like ) I despise non-serious responses or comments. It pisses me off because I dont need to be cheered up or I dont need a corny joke - I just prefer help in a certain way. Though part of helping me, is me letting you help and thats why I only went to two people for my most serious problems. They knew how to handle me and I snuggled up to that like a warm blanket in a cold night.
Times change and people change and feelings change and things move on.
Im starting school (again *groans*) in september - this time it will be multi-media design and production - I think im up to the task ..I proved in my first semester in graphics design that Im up to the task.
I knew in my head I wanted to do better and though every day felt normal I had that thought in the back of my head that I wanted to do better and I did.
My average was quite high..failing one class just fucked me up the ass and that was the end of that so here's hoping for more success in multi-media design and production.
Other than that im hoping for a job so I can have money so I can do little things for myself to make myself feel better whenever I should feel like it.
I did have a huge long thing planned for this last post buuuuuuuuut I cant think of what I was going to say so I'll just leave it like it is...if I think of something that I want to add I'll add it at a later time.
By the by you all should watch "dead like me" if you arent already - email me or something and I'll hook you up with episodes of your overly interested..its a brilliant show...very great writing - interesting story and even the beginning credits are good for a laugh.
And with that I bid everyone here a farewell ( though I doubt too many people keep up to date with these longer posts - I know I was too lazy to do so with certain ones but thats what makes me less loyal I suppose).
Well good luck and god bless to those of you who matter and if I dont talk to you soon have a nice life.
Bon Voyage Mes Ami
I'm going to say goodbye officially to my Lj because I basically have no use for it anymore.
Nothing really spectacular has happened - actually probably more bad news than good as of late...or maybe its been balanced. In any case it doesnt hugely matter anymore.
Things are moving along ( though in which direction is quite unknown ) though I should stop making this post like its from a fuckin drama queen - Lj has been good to me ( as good as a piece of coding and an application and online site can be ).
It's learned a vast array of emotions - everything from the very happy to the very sad to the very pissed.
I've learned a hard lesson in the most recent past - mainly that a lot of women can be absolute cunts...they can be treacherous, evil, misleading and down right infuriating.
It's partially my fault for not recognizing a cunt when I saw her but I suppose my vision was clouded by the fact that I hoped for more from her ( my mistake apparently ).
It was quite the episode....it will leave a permanent mark on me that im sure im going to remember for a very long time ( I have a habit of holding some of the BIGGEST grudges - which usually means you dont forget the people that fuck you, in a way its helpful but in another way it keeps you pissed).
So aside from cunts I've basically lost the two most important people to me ( the two that I would normally go to for help with any problems for help. I only would go to those two because I trusted them and loved them deeply. Whatever hard truth there was to learn I preferred to learn it from their lips and they've left me. I'll deal and I'll cope like I have before but I'm constantly wishing that I could find them again).
One of them was my fault - I turned my back on her - though I had the idea that she turned her back on me a long time before I turned mine on hers. It's one of the things I'll perhaps never know and I'll again try to deal with that or cope with that.
In times where I have problems or make posts like this ( that are taking a turn for the emotional like ) I despise non-serious responses or comments. It pisses me off because I dont need to be cheered up or I dont need a corny joke - I just prefer help in a certain way. Though part of helping me, is me letting you help and thats why I only went to two people for my most serious problems. They knew how to handle me and I snuggled up to that like a warm blanket in a cold night.
Times change and people change and feelings change and things move on.
Im starting school (again *groans*) in september - this time it will be multi-media design and production - I think im up to the task ..I proved in my first semester in graphics design that Im up to the task.
I knew in my head I wanted to do better and though every day felt normal I had that thought in the back of my head that I wanted to do better and I did.
My average was quite high..failing one class just fucked me up the ass and that was the end of that so here's hoping for more success in multi-media design and production.
Other than that im hoping for a job so I can have money so I can do little things for myself to make myself feel better whenever I should feel like it.
I did have a huge long thing planned for this last post buuuuuuuuut I cant think of what I was going to say so I'll just leave it like it is...if I think of something that I want to add I'll add it at a later time.
By the by you all should watch "dead like me" if you arent already - email me or something and I'll hook you up with episodes of your overly interested..its a brilliant show...very great writing - interesting story and even the beginning credits are good for a laugh.
And with that I bid everyone here a farewell ( though I doubt too many people keep up to date with these longer posts - I know I was too lazy to do so with certain ones but thats what makes me less loyal I suppose).
Well good luck and god bless to those of you who matter and if I dont talk to you soon have a nice life.
Bon Voyage Mes Ami