Sep 02, 2005 04:36
I've been going over my past
entries (as im prone to do from time to time) and yet again I dont
remember writing some of the things I have..
except when it came to that stuff about religion and racism...that stuff sticks ..
I have to get used to a couple new things very soon...those things are
either a new program that isnt so far off from graphics design and or a
longer tour with graphics design.
She's a tough beast and truthfully I'll admit I got caught sleeping
(figuratively) and was promptly owned by a very minor technicality..so
here I am faced with a couple new threats. Who will pwn who? im not
sure..but one thing is for sure even though I may be down I know that I
am not out...I'll get back into the game any way possible and
thats one of the things I take pride in the most..my stubborness...my
willingness to take the hardest route if its the quickest..But for now
I may have to abandon my brothers and sisters and wish them good luck
on their journey.
One of my friends told me her and her mom were praying for me and I was
very flattered...I didnt know quite what to say except that she was a
real sweetheart and I told her to thank her mother a lot for her
prayers - they wont ever go unnoticed or unnappreciated.
Truthfully I will feel a little relieved if im out of graphics
design...Ive felt like ive been in competition from the get go and
whenever my marks come in (Even if they are good) a part of me still
feels dissapointed that its not better..maybe I'll have to stick with
graphics design (in which case my 1st semester in january will be VERY
easy - but I can kiss a lot of money goodbye..fuckin gov't).A part of
me feels strangely optimistic about the upcoming events...as for those
I feel like I've lost touch with, it has definately been reaffirmed a
couple times and I suppose its ok ...both parties will live and so will
I...Like I told someone before..the only person that will turn their
back on a friend is you ..otherwise your friends will always be there.
I suppose in a small way I am turning my back on these people but like
I said I dont think there was anything there in the first place..just
my belief that saw something that wasnt there. Rather than actually
bring it up to those involved (and add unneeded situations) I just keep
it to myself (for the most part). Oh well ...we all have our own
ripples to make in our own ponds and we all have our own duties and
responsibilities...
Thats all for now - I dont feel like writing anymore
- A moment of blasphemy spawns a lifetime of heresy -