I'm back in black/lavander/to the future!

[thehesselvessel]

Deer internet friends/internet relatives/internet, its me,...... you guessed it... Hessel. I'd like to begin with some appologies: Appology 1, I am sorry I have not written in my journal for a few days. Appology second, I am sorry that my last entry was so pschophrenic, I forgot to take my pills. Appology C, soory mom and dad, i wish i was a better person, but im only me... what a disapointment... please stop hitting me/hurting my feelings/backing the chevy over my bike. Anyways, it's been a while since we last cybered, that is what you call interacting on the net right? Whatever, here's the recap of my last few days, or as I like to call it, my legacy. Sunday was the day after my last entry. It started off as any day wood, I got out of bed, looked out the window, saw the rain, got back into bed, cryed for a good solid half an hour, and mid sob began to wet myself. I blamed it all on the dog. When I got downstairs, the sweet oders of breakfast filled the air. My mom had cooked me some Cpt. Crunch. Morning came and went, and before I knew it i was falling down the staris. I was leaving my room, where I was workin' on the ol' Ryan and Justin collage, and I got to the top of the stairs, all of a sudden I see a rollerskate on the second stair down. There was obviously no way to avoid it so I steped towards it cautiousley... then it happened, "oops". Next thing I know I'm at the bottom of the stairs covered in blood/vomit/cat pee, and its 7 o clock at night. Well there was no way I was sticking around the house if my family was going to leave traps for me, so I wen't back to skool. When I got to skool, my favorite people were there, Ryan, Justin, Jake, and The Macho Man Randy Savage. Ok so the last one was a lie, but a boy can hope can't he? Well Monday was good I woke up again, and hung in bed for a bit, While i lied there i was struck with inspiration just like an orphan being run over by a truck. I emediatley began work on my toothpaste scultpture, and by the end of the afternoon, I hade a minty fresh bust of Mya Angelou sitting on the mantel becase she was probably the most brave slave ever to escape to the south, what a role model. (dude i said bust hahaha aha). All that sculpting made the kids at skool look at me funny, I felt like I was deformed. My house has vinal sideing. That night I rubbed Bengay all over my nuts and sat in my room alone watching myself cry in the mirror. Tuesday came and went... just like daddy. The morning was working on my opus, Im going to call the piece Mr. Hessel's Opus. Boy do I love movies about zombie porn. That afternoon I skipped class to stay in and watch my soaps. dinner was at 6 and we all ate like kings, except the girlsand me, we ate like queens. When I was done pretending to be a girl we left the caf, and ventured back to the room. When we got there we left again and saw a movie. Man did I trick the people who own the movie theater because they thought I payed to see a movie, but in reality I kept my eyes closed the entire time. When we got back to the dorm Ryan was trying to concentrate, I kould see it in his eyes... and elbows, so I helped him think by playing my guitar very loud standing next to him. I could hear the appreciation in his foul language and yelling. Next thing you know I giving my self a tan in the can job and now my skin is dyed orange. I feel like that fruit that rhymes with.... um..... gorange, but I can't remember the name of. Before bed I took a shit, then I stood up from my computer, went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. Today is wednesday. How cool would it be if every wednesday were good speling day? I would get the golden star of the day i bet? LOOK I can't tell you what i did this morning, but just be warned... its not a good thing? in the afternoon i went to my classes? In class i wore my hat and smiled a lot. boy do people like my uncomfortable stares, i hope? When I got in I yanked on my salami log for a while and passed out from all the whiskey I had drank? Boy did i feel great\sticky\embarassed when I woke up with my hand in my pants and realized I was in John's room by mistake? I knew that the posters/roomate looked different? well here it is, now, and im writting in this goddamned journal? I'll see you later? Your stalker, Hessel

P.S. I'm going to marry Suzzan Sarandan you wait.