And it all comes back to you
I am sitting cross-legged on a ledge, along the side of a playground sipping an iced cold cup of koi over easy conversation when you pose the question, 'do you like him?' I have been expecting this but it still comes as a mild shock. Yet, the answer slides out of my mouth before I know it; an automatic 'no.' 'Why not?' you counter almost immediately, and then as an afterthought, "how can you be sure," a statement more than a question. And for that I have to pause, how can I be sure? I hesitate for a moment, but when the words do come I know them to be true. 'I think when you know, you'll know,' I say and we leave it as that.
I still believe that, even now, even after all this time, even after you, (or maybe, especially after you). summer has proven to be a confusing season so far, a whirlwind of emotions and choices to be made, different people to feel for and I wonder if this is the way we operate, with 'yes' and 'no', synonyms that mean stay or go. the decisions that we make, they define us, and I am always there at the crossroads, waiting for a sign, for someone reaching out for me at the far end, for anyone to give me that quiet nod. but these days have given me clarity and now I know that I am finally sure, I have always been sure. Sitting there in the darkness of the night, the cold night wind blows the hair into my eyes but I do not brush it away. I can see, I am not blinded, I am unafraid.