an overdue apology
to whom it concerns, which turns out to be more people than i expected, im sorry i got drunk and bellicose and picked a fight with an equally belligerent stranger. im sorry i drank half of the beer i brought, im sorry i ate bologna with no bread. im sorry i mixed different groups of friends with mixed results, im sorry i ignored some people for card games. I'm sorry some people never see me sober, im sorry some people have seen me smoke. Im sorry i spilled ice everywhere, im sorry i got us lost on the way there. im sorry i stepped on that stranger's hand on the way to the toilets, im sorry when he complained that i didn't say sorry right then. I'm sorry i took so long to cool down in the car, im sorry i called that cop a "dick licking fascist" with the window down so that he might have heard. im sorry i ate that mysterious cheese and i have a feeling ill be sorry i threw that shirt in the laundry without warning my mom about the difficulties she will have making it clean. and still I'm sorry that someone who barely knows me had to pull me away from a fist fight with a stranger who,in the dark and just in passing, reminded me in my intoxicated haze of a grudge ive held for a long time which i seriously need to let go of. in closing, im sorry at how sorry ive become.