(no subject)
I was on the very edge of quitting, yesterday.
...But I'm getting ahead of myself.
I had a fairly decent grip on this "Director" thing right at first. Christine had left things in order, and there wasn't much for me to do beyond my usual Head Teacher duties and the workbooks and textbooks I was developing.
Last week, I realised I had to start in on the documentation and things that lead to teachers getting raises. I'm pretty sure they'd get a bit annoyed if my being a bit clueless lead to them not getting an extra buck an hour. So I started in on that, but I thought I had a lot of time.
This week, I started in on a level 5 Communications text book. I think it'll be really good by the time I'm done... if I ever get a chance to finish it. You see, earlier this week, a friend of mine had a horrible family emergency. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to feel the proper amount of concern for her and her family because I was too busy stressing over the fact that I had to replace her as a teacher on zero notice. So I ended up teaching... God knows I've got time for that now. Gah. I then hired the first person to show up with a resume. I hope he'll work out, but... well, time will tell. If not, the job is temp-to-perm with a 3-month probation, so my ass is theoretically covered. I hope.
So, I'm currently: Director, Head Teacher, Curriculum Developer, and Substitute Teacher. That's how I spent the last 3 days, and by yesterday it was all getting to be just a bit much.
That might be due to the fact that we had the annual Christmas party on Thursday night, and so I was incredibly exhausted Friday. The party was really fun and good and I met someone from another campus with whom I've been emailing and phoning on a regular basis for work, and he's really very cute. I kinda wish I'd stayed longer, gotten plastered, and pulled him into a bathroom stall or something. Sometimes, I wish I were that kinda girl, damnit.
At the end of the party, I went to the owner of my school to thank him for a great evening, and he told me he wanted to talk to me this coming week. Now, I've probably had a half-dozen conversations with the man in the entire time I've worked for him or his family (a bit more than 3 years, now). I have a horrible feeling he might want to try to convince me to stay as director. I think this because one of the long-term staff at my campus was talking to his wife, and Lisa (the wife) was going on about how great I am (Sylvia, my boss in Korea, is her sister, so she's a bit biased). She was asking how I was doing in the job and if people liked me, etc. This ... makes me nervous.
Don't lecture me, though. A week ago (before this week's insanity), I told management at my campus that I didn't want the director job, and I asked that this information be passed onto the owner. Now, I just hope that it has been, or I'm in for a really awkward conversation.
I hate this feeling of not being in control of my life. This feeling is what usually precipitates me moving thousands of km away on very short notice. I'm tempted to go overseas again, or even just look for a school in another province to work at. Anything to exert some measure of control over my own direction again. I need to be able to make my own decisions rather than keep having them made for me, by chance.
God, I'm fucked in the head :P
Anyway, this time next week I'll be on a plane, and hopefully by that time I'll be able to just chill the fuck out already. Here's hoping my family don't push me right over the edge ;)
God, I can hardly wait to see you guys again. Give me lots of hugs and laughs and sanity if you would, please. :D
...But I'm getting ahead of myself.
I had a fairly decent grip on this "Director" thing right at first. Christine had left things in order, and there wasn't much for me to do beyond my usual Head Teacher duties and the workbooks and textbooks I was developing.
Last week, I realised I had to start in on the documentation and things that lead to teachers getting raises. I'm pretty sure they'd get a bit annoyed if my being a bit clueless lead to them not getting an extra buck an hour. So I started in on that, but I thought I had a lot of time.
This week, I started in on a level 5 Communications text book. I think it'll be really good by the time I'm done... if I ever get a chance to finish it. You see, earlier this week, a friend of mine had a horrible family emergency. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to feel the proper amount of concern for her and her family because I was too busy stressing over the fact that I had to replace her as a teacher on zero notice. So I ended up teaching... God knows I've got time for that now. Gah. I then hired the first person to show up with a resume. I hope he'll work out, but... well, time will tell. If not, the job is temp-to-perm with a 3-month probation, so my ass is theoretically covered. I hope.
So, I'm currently: Director, Head Teacher, Curriculum Developer, and Substitute Teacher. That's how I spent the last 3 days, and by yesterday it was all getting to be just a bit much.
That might be due to the fact that we had the annual Christmas party on Thursday night, and so I was incredibly exhausted Friday. The party was really fun and good and I met someone from another campus with whom I've been emailing and phoning on a regular basis for work, and he's really very cute. I kinda wish I'd stayed longer, gotten plastered, and pulled him into a bathroom stall or something. Sometimes, I wish I were that kinda girl, damnit.
At the end of the party, I went to the owner of my school to thank him for a great evening, and he told me he wanted to talk to me this coming week. Now, I've probably had a half-dozen conversations with the man in the entire time I've worked for him or his family (a bit more than 3 years, now). I have a horrible feeling he might want to try to convince me to stay as director. I think this because one of the long-term staff at my campus was talking to his wife, and Lisa (the wife) was going on about how great I am (Sylvia, my boss in Korea, is her sister, so she's a bit biased). She was asking how I was doing in the job and if people liked me, etc. This ... makes me nervous.
Don't lecture me, though. A week ago (before this week's insanity), I told management at my campus that I didn't want the director job, and I asked that this information be passed onto the owner. Now, I just hope that it has been, or I'm in for a really awkward conversation.
I hate this feeling of not being in control of my life. This feeling is what usually precipitates me moving thousands of km away on very short notice. I'm tempted to go overseas again, or even just look for a school in another province to work at. Anything to exert some measure of control over my own direction again. I need to be able to make my own decisions rather than keep having them made for me, by chance.
God, I'm fucked in the head :P
Anyway, this time next week I'll be on a plane, and hopefully by that time I'll be able to just chill the fuck out already. Here's hoping my family don't push me right over the edge ;)
God, I can hardly wait to see you guys again. Give me lots of hugs and laughs and sanity if you would, please. :D