(no subject)
nobody fucking cares anymore. nobody is willing to take responsibility for their own actions. people go through life just fucking around and wasting every chance they get to learn something from their mistakes. I, for example, almost failed each and every one of my classes this semester, because i thought i was better than everyone else and didn't do any work until the last minute, and these were all classes that i should be interested in, but the truth is i never fully convinced myself that i wanted to go to college anyway. i've taken it as an opportunity to live in a never never land of drugs and idiocy for the next four years. sure i'll learn some shit, get a degree probably, and hold a couple of jobs before its over, but for the most part, i don't care what i'm doing. i see my classes as an obstacle to just kicking it all day smoking pot and drinking and playing video games, and the only reason i got a job at the dining hall was so i could afford cigarettes, which i smoke too much of anyway, not for any real reason - lord knows it's not stress, but somehow it's become a habit. it's kind of like when you're bored and you find yourself playing solitaire for hours... it brings you absolutely no amusement but it's something to do. i think the only reason i care about passing my classes is that my parents are spending a lot of money on me, and i don't like the idea of wasting it... but the longer i stay in college not giving a shit about it, the more i keep wasting.