(no subject)
¢And you keep the air in my lungs¢
¢Floating along as a melody comes¢
¢This week has truly been intersting. I feel like Adam and i r begining to drift apart. I don't understand this & i don't even know if its happening. he was in a bad mood last fri and it just doesn't seem like things have been the same since. today i walked to class w.out him. tht was wierd & i didn' tlike it. but its cuz i didn't wait...idk whts happening. i think the crush i had at one point in time is slowly dwindling down. Which is fine bc adam is still one of my best friends & always will be. I have always said tht iw ould rather be friends then to lose him forever bc we tried to date...i just hope tht i'm not losing him now bc over the summer & this fall i will prob need him more then he will ever know...he just has a way of helping me get through nething...and thts y i like him!?¢
¢And my heart beats like timpani drums¢
¢Keeping the time while a symphony strums¢
¢I am more alive then ever rite now. i have been hangin out with a bunch of different ppl. i have been tryin new things & trying to find where i can fit. i have determined tht i can fit newherei want to. i use to have the pre-concieved noetions about ppl...like mexicans & stuff...i judged alot...wayyy to quickly. i hear alot of "if they come to America, then they should learn English". Well yeah i agree somewhat. But a lot of them speak more English then they'll let on. I would get freaked out bc they would speak spanish aroudn me & i wouldn't understand nething. I guess u could say i was parniod. Like to think they were talkin bout me i guess. But the more i get to hang out with daniel and his friends the more i see how much i was wrong. they speak in spanish cuz its their first lang. if i went to mexico i would prob still speak english to my friends lol...but they can speak english...& i'm learning more & more spanish. I can say f*ckin white girl lol...don't know when i'll use tht one but i never can tell...sometimes i think tht i'm better off now cuz i gave em a chance...but i can see tht they're they ones who gave me the chance...there are sooo many ppl who don't like hispanics...i've actually been told tht i'm a nice white girl...i guess thts a compliment.¢
¢And I'm drying out¢
¢Crying out¢
¢On Tues. I changed my cell phone #. Sooo some ppl may think i'm bein a bitch but i'm not givin to everyone. just certain ppl. and everyone will just have to deal. They waved the 15$ fee bc of wht has been goin on. i felt truly proud of myself this weekend bc i didn't give in to the drama. i stopped & thought about it. i ignored most of it. something tht i have been strugglin with 4ever! but i did it! & it felt good. I was talkin with jacqui & when i told her about my weekend i said this is goin to soundlike the worst weekend ever...but it was actually pretty good...and i smile & laughed.¢
¢This isn't how I go¢
¢Hurry now¢
¢Spring break is coming up. I'm gettin more & more nervouse about college. its rite around the corner. like almost there! whts gonna happen? i know ppl goin with me. but wht about all the ppl who rn't? wht about my friends still in high school? Or better yet, wht about my friends tht have already graduated. Like TOpher...we hardly see eachother as is now...i don't wanna be just another postcard a Christmastime...The ppl tht have already graduated are tht ppl who have helped me the most. they have helped me grow. they have helped learn to stay out of drama. even if they didn't wanna hear it...they listend to all my drama...wht about those who helped me through it? When i thought i was completely lost & never gonna find myself? i realize i have to growup & part of tht is leavin to grow more. a person can only learn so much by stayin in one place their entire life. i want to travel the world, but i wish i could take all the ppl i care about with me. Pack them in my suitcase so they can come with me to see the world.¢
¢Lay me down¢
¢And let these waters flow...¢
¢I have been thinkin about wht i'm goin to do when i graduate. My major & stuff...idk. i felt it again today. i wanna be a teacher, but i have no idea y...i wanna make an impact on the world. i wanna make a difference....i wanna change the world. my heart is tied to north carolina, but i wanna travel. i would love to work in another country & help people over there. or even help poor ppl in america. i just don't know the best way to do tht. i don' tkno wwht i should do. i still wanna take pics...i wanna do sooo much... i guess i just have to pic one.¢
¢Flow....Let it flow¢
¢Let it flow¢
¢The state photography competiton is on friday and saturday. i'm not really nervous. i guess i should be, but i'm not. i'm ready for it. well ok not really, but i'm almost. i'll prob be nervous thurs nite & won't be able to sleep. But with the soccer practice Plummer is planning i may have no problem. THts cool though. i'm really excited tht i get to see daniel & jorge tom. Thts exciting.¢
¢Son I am not everything you thought that I would be¢
¢But every story I have told is part of me¢
¢I have come to a conlcusion in my life about my sexuality. But I don't feel the need to tell everyone. Cuz i don't care if everyone knows. THe only ppl I"m makin the effort to r the ppl i care about...alot. I like boys...alot...i have opened my eyes...i see things differently & i know tht eveything i have gone through i have for a reason. Justin called me a lesbian the other day...and i told him once again tht i'm not a lesbian...some ppl will, however, never learn. i guess he can be alrite, but things like tht rub me the wrong way. Y can't u just respect me...he also said it in front of a guy i like...o well wht can u do?¢
¢Son I leave you now but you have so much more to do?¢
¢And every story I have told is part of you¢
¢Floating along as a melody comes¢
¢This week has truly been intersting. I feel like Adam and i r begining to drift apart. I don't understand this & i don't even know if its happening. he was in a bad mood last fri and it just doesn't seem like things have been the same since. today i walked to class w.out him. tht was wierd & i didn' tlike it. but its cuz i didn't wait...idk whts happening. i think the crush i had at one point in time is slowly dwindling down. Which is fine bc adam is still one of my best friends & always will be. I have always said tht iw ould rather be friends then to lose him forever bc we tried to date...i just hope tht i'm not losing him now bc over the summer & this fall i will prob need him more then he will ever know...he just has a way of helping me get through nething...and thts y i like him!?¢
¢And my heart beats like timpani drums¢
¢Keeping the time while a symphony strums¢
¢I am more alive then ever rite now. i have been hangin out with a bunch of different ppl. i have been tryin new things & trying to find where i can fit. i have determined tht i can fit newherei want to. i use to have the pre-concieved noetions about ppl...like mexicans & stuff...i judged alot...wayyy to quickly. i hear alot of "if they come to America, then they should learn English". Well yeah i agree somewhat. But a lot of them speak more English then they'll let on. I would get freaked out bc they would speak spanish aroudn me & i wouldn't understand nething. I guess u could say i was parniod. Like to think they were talkin bout me i guess. But the more i get to hang out with daniel and his friends the more i see how much i was wrong. they speak in spanish cuz its their first lang. if i went to mexico i would prob still speak english to my friends lol...but they can speak english...& i'm learning more & more spanish. I can say f*ckin white girl lol...don't know when i'll use tht one but i never can tell...sometimes i think tht i'm better off now cuz i gave em a chance...but i can see tht they're they ones who gave me the chance...there are sooo many ppl who don't like hispanics...i've actually been told tht i'm a nice white girl...i guess thts a compliment.¢
¢And I'm drying out¢
¢Crying out¢
¢On Tues. I changed my cell phone #. Sooo some ppl may think i'm bein a bitch but i'm not givin to everyone. just certain ppl. and everyone will just have to deal. They waved the 15$ fee bc of wht has been goin on. i felt truly proud of myself this weekend bc i didn't give in to the drama. i stopped & thought about it. i ignored most of it. something tht i have been strugglin with 4ever! but i did it! & it felt good. I was talkin with jacqui & when i told her about my weekend i said this is goin to soundlike the worst weekend ever...but it was actually pretty good...and i smile & laughed.¢
¢This isn't how I go¢
¢Hurry now¢
¢Spring break is coming up. I'm gettin more & more nervouse about college. its rite around the corner. like almost there! whts gonna happen? i know ppl goin with me. but wht about all the ppl who rn't? wht about my friends still in high school? Or better yet, wht about my friends tht have already graduated. Like TOpher...we hardly see eachother as is now...i don't wanna be just another postcard a Christmastime...The ppl tht have already graduated are tht ppl who have helped me the most. they have helped me grow. they have helped learn to stay out of drama. even if they didn't wanna hear it...they listend to all my drama...wht about those who helped me through it? When i thought i was completely lost & never gonna find myself? i realize i have to growup & part of tht is leavin to grow more. a person can only learn so much by stayin in one place their entire life. i want to travel the world, but i wish i could take all the ppl i care about with me. Pack them in my suitcase so they can come with me to see the world.¢
¢Lay me down¢
¢And let these waters flow...¢
¢I have been thinkin about wht i'm goin to do when i graduate. My major & stuff...idk. i felt it again today. i wanna be a teacher, but i have no idea y...i wanna make an impact on the world. i wanna make a difference....i wanna change the world. my heart is tied to north carolina, but i wanna travel. i would love to work in another country & help people over there. or even help poor ppl in america. i just don't know the best way to do tht. i don' tkno wwht i should do. i still wanna take pics...i wanna do sooo much... i guess i just have to pic one.¢
¢Flow....Let it flow¢
¢Let it flow¢
¢The state photography competiton is on friday and saturday. i'm not really nervous. i guess i should be, but i'm not. i'm ready for it. well ok not really, but i'm almost. i'll prob be nervous thurs nite & won't be able to sleep. But with the soccer practice Plummer is planning i may have no problem. THts cool though. i'm really excited tht i get to see daniel & jorge tom. Thts exciting.¢
¢Son I am not everything you thought that I would be¢
¢But every story I have told is part of me¢
¢I have come to a conlcusion in my life about my sexuality. But I don't feel the need to tell everyone. Cuz i don't care if everyone knows. THe only ppl I"m makin the effort to r the ppl i care about...alot. I like boys...alot...i have opened my eyes...i see things differently & i know tht eveything i have gone through i have for a reason. Justin called me a lesbian the other day...and i told him once again tht i'm not a lesbian...some ppl will, however, never learn. i guess he can be alrite, but things like tht rub me the wrong way. Y can't u just respect me...he also said it in front of a guy i like...o well wht can u do?¢
¢Son I leave you now but you have so much more to do?¢
¢And every story I have told is part of you¢