bail out my canoe
I don't understand it anymore, the back and forth the promises and delays and I just want to give up. Why can't I just fucking give up? Can’t I start over again? Please? Can’t I be too tired and sick to continue and be let out to pasture, to graze on lost time and wasted opportunities? The things I value aren't in these walls or words or gestures of money, I want out. I vote no for now. I am good at forcible and conscience amnesia. I want to check out, run away, forget, disappear, I want to know what I would do if I could do it.
Bail me out of college, someone. Anyone.
I need more confidence, self-esteem? I need to know that I deserve decent treatment, consideration. I think I'll do shitty and I do, and I spend too much time intoxicating my body with bad thoughts and smoke and booze. I hereby declare a month of my body completely clear of cigarettes and alcohol and self-deprecating thoughts. I've gone 5 days so far, so I'm on my way as they say. Woo.
I hate being single and not wanting to be because I spend so much time convincing myself that I’m better off single and I’m happier this way and then all can think about is how much I'm not enjoying it, instead I’m just agonizing over why I should be enjoying it.
Anyway, it is good for me. As 'good' as anything is for you. Being single probably causes cancer. Along with everything else in the world. I'm addicted to salt and being hopelessly emotionally invested in people.
Bail me out of college, someone. Anyone.
I need more confidence, self-esteem? I need to know that I deserve decent treatment, consideration. I think I'll do shitty and I do, and I spend too much time intoxicating my body with bad thoughts and smoke and booze. I hereby declare a month of my body completely clear of cigarettes and alcohol and self-deprecating thoughts. I've gone 5 days so far, so I'm on my way as they say. Woo.
I hate being single and not wanting to be because I spend so much time convincing myself that I’m better off single and I’m happier this way and then all can think about is how much I'm not enjoying it, instead I’m just agonizing over why I should be enjoying it.
Anyway, it is good for me. As 'good' as anything is for you. Being single probably causes cancer. Along with everything else in the world. I'm addicted to salt and being hopelessly emotionally invested in people.